“That’s the one officer! 3-E mooned me, I’m sure of it!”
“All right folks, the nurse has the machine gun ready. You may feel a light sting. The flu shots commence…NOW!”
The audience is demanding the return of La Petomaine!
The audience at the Heiniken Theatre misunderstands the phrase “Show us your ‘Heiny’”.
You know, they always say that to cure stage fright, all you need to do is picture your audience naked.
I think this is going too far.
Ya stick your buttocks in
ya stick your buttocks out
ya stick your buttocks in
and ya shake them all about…
“Stockpile Discovered in Baghdad: Weapons of Gas Eruption”
and then penis ensues
“Impressive,” said the Studio Executive," But you must know that all that counts is Asses in Seats."
Actor: “I SO miss the days when they just threw tomatoes”
So my friend says, “Hey, you wanna be part of a performance art group?”
So I was like, “Cool”
We go to this theater and this arty guy says , “Everybody take off your clothes”
So I was like, “Cool”
Then arty guy says to my group, “Form two rows on the third level”
So I was like, “Cool”
Then arty guy says, “first row of each level bend over” And there’s this cute girl right in front of me on the second row with this real cute butt and all.
So I was like, “Cool”
Then she farted, I took a quick step back to get away from her, and the next thing I know I wake up in this bed.
This is Phase One of the first SDMB Mass Initiation. As the new initiates air out, the salad tongs descend, the trebuchet is checked one final time, and the calamari is being prepared offstage.
“Nightmare For Lemmiwinks”
…and then the audience showed their appreciation by joining the competitors in the One Minute Freestyle Squeezedown at the World Flatulence Championships.
“Paging Ben Dover…”
Looks like a group photo from the last place I worked.
Looks like a group photo from the place I currently work.
[Surfs over to Monster.com to update resume]
Those of you here for the Thighmaster commercial, please signify by…um… oh dear me.
OK, all together now…
HNNGGH!! HHHNNNGGGGHHHH!
Well, that was a bum show!!
This audience didn’t quite grasp the term “thundering ovation.”
Fund-raising gone bad (No, no! I said we need more assets - assETS!)
The playwright finally realized why he shouldn’t have called his play “Clothing Optional.”