Yet another Nobody-Got-My-Witty-Line thread

[SeldomSeen]

@olivesmarch4th

For the record, I don’t get most of these.

Whew! Thank you olivesmarch4th I thought it was just me.

FTR, I did get the one about Dan Tuck though…

[Snickers]

@Joey_P

Funny, I got it and then a second later I realized there was that Meatloaf was involved in it as well so it worked on two levels.

My favorite when that no one has ever gotten, so I’ve stopped using…
My dad owns a store, I work there. It’s a small mom and pop type place so when we’re talking to someone sometimes they’ll sarcastically say “One day this could all be yours” (as if to imply it’s some great empire) my reply is always What, the curtains?". But like I said, it’s just gotten me confused looks, so I gave up on it. It is a pretty obscure reference.

That’s hysterical. I’d laugh. I love that bit.

[Joey_P]

@Roland_Orzabal

Guy #1: “Yeah, I don’t remember Tuck.”

Guy #1 moved into town well after Sneed took over.

[Mean_Mr.Mustard]

I have another that I’ve already posted on the Dope, so forgive me if you’ve heard this already.

A while back we were putting on a carnival-themed sales promotion at work; balloons, cotton candy, clowns, carnival music, etc.

I was in a meeting with maybe a dozen people, boss included. A co-worker knocked on the door, poked her head in, and said, “the clowns are here.”

“Send them in”, I said.

Didn’t get so much as a groan.
mmm

[ultrafilter]

I told the students in my recitation for introductory statistics that normal distributions are all alike, but every non-normal distribution is non-normal in its own way. They didn’t get it.

[CanvasShoes]

@Hampshire

I work in a cube next to a technician named Dave in a manufacturing facility. Often when the engineers are looking for him they come to his cube first even though he is usually out on a call.
Whenever an engineer asks “Where’s Dave?” I respond with the obligatory “Dave’s not here man.”
They never, ever get it. It probably doesn’t help that all our engineers are from India, Russia, Japan, etc.

Kids today…

[Ulf_the_Unwashed]

I’m over 50 and I don’t get a bunch of these either.

Ones I did get: Kansas City; send in the clowns; grapes of raff; What, the curtains?; non-normal distributions [I liked these last two in particular]; and I figured out Dan Tuck [nice one!]. As for two out of three, guidelines and rules, Dave not being here, good morning Dave–got me. Apparently I’m not paying attention to the right things.

[CanvasShoes]

@Ulf_the_Unwashed

I’m over 50 and I don’t get a bunch of these either.

Ones I did get: Kansas City; send in the clowns; grapes of raff; What, the curtains?; non-normal distributions [I liked these last two in particular]; and I figured out Dan Tuck [nice one!]. As for two out of three, guidelines and rules, Dave not being here, good morning Dave–got me. Apparently I’m not paying attention to the right things.

Two out of three ain’t bad is a Meatloaf song.

(I didn’t get the guidelines one either :D)

Dave’s not here is a 70s cult, you had to be there thing… Cheech and Chong

Cheech and Chong - Dave's Not Here

Good Morning Dave is from the original 2001 Space Odyssey, it’s from HAL the computer.

[Inner_Stickler]

The first Pirates of the Caribbean has a thing where the ghost pirates talk about how this thing or that thing is a pirate rule and so they must parley or whatever. When Keira Knightley tries to use the rules to prevent her capture, they kidnap her anyway, saying the quoted bit.

[voguevixen]

This actually happened to a co-worker, not me. We work in a hospital pharmacy and David, a big, stocky guy reached to the coat hooks for a lab coat. He went to put it on and it was obviously someone elses coat as it was about 5 sizes too small for him. Instead of taking it off right away he kind of gyrated around and started singing “Fat guy in a little co-oat, fat guy in a little co-oat…”

I was the only person in the entire pharmacy that laughed.

( fat guy little coat edited - YouTube )

[Ulf_the_Unwashed]

@CanvasShoes

Two out of three ain’t bad is a Meatloaf song.

(I didn’t get the guidelines one either :D)

Dave’s not here is a 70s cult, you had to be there thing… Cheech and Chong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6wV7rAKMNE

Good Morning Dave is from the original 2001 Space Odyssey, it’s from HAL the computer.

Thank you! Ignorance fought. The moral is that I seem to know my musicals (clowns, Kansas City) and my literature (non-normal distributions, grapes of Raff)…but my knowledge of TV, movies, and pop music is a bit more limited, shall we say. Ah well.

[TriPolar]

The young people I work with, and my kids wouldn’t get most of these. They’d pick up Dan Tuck, but the Dave gags, One out of Two, and Monty Python references would go right by them.

My kids picked up one of my lines when they were teenagers:

Son: Where are my shoes?
Me: What am I, Kreskin?

They use that now to get a chuckle out of the older crowd. Their friends just give them a blank stare.

[Joey_P]

@voguevixen

This actually happened to a co-worker, not me. We work in a hospital pharmacy and David, a big, stocky guy reached to the coat hooks for a lab coat. He went to put it on and it was obviously someone elses coat as it was about 5 sizes too small for him. Instead of taking it off right away he kind of gyrated around and started singing “Fat guy in a little co-oat, fat guy in a little co-oat…”

I was the only person in the entire pharmacy that laughed.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGWbt3DSje0 )

(I thought I posted this, maybe I just hit preview)

I’m not even a little bit fat, but every time I’ve even started to do something like this I’ve always had someone yelling at me saying “OMG don’t do that you’re going to rip that OMG knock it off OMG”. I figure if they don’t get the joke, they’re really not going to think it’s funny if I end up actually ripping the jacket.

[PlainJain]

@Roland_Orzabal

I didn’t expect everyone to get this, but I was hoping for at least one laugh, especially given that it’s basically a dumbed-down version of a recycled Simpsons joke…

I was in a group with three other people, talking about my dad’s promo campaign for our former local weatherman, Bill Meck. The people I was talking to agreed that these ads had been effective, especially since they still remembered the tagline: “Who the heck is Bill Meck?”.

Me: “Yeah, it worked out a lot better than his line for the last guy, Dan Tuck.”

[beat]

[place where dawning comprehension and laughs are supposed to go]

[yet another beat]

Guy #1: “Yeah, I don’t remember Tuck.”

That is some funny stuff right there. OMG, I’m laughing. What he could have done for Tom Tit. I don’t get the Sneed reference though.

[Mean_Mr.Mustard]

@voguevixen

This actually happened to a co-worker, not me. We work in a hospital pharmacy and David, a big, stocky guy reached to the coat hooks for a lab coat. He went to put it on and it was obviously someone elses coat as it was about 5 sizes too small for him. Instead of taking it off right away he kind of gyrated around and started singing “Fat guy in a little co-oat, fat guy in a little co-oat…”

I was the only person in the entire pharmacy that laughed.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGWbt3DSje0 )

I love this one.

I wonder if Dave didn’t grab the wrong coat on purpose.
mmm

[Inner_Stickler]

@PlainJain

That is some funny stuff right there. OMG, I’m laughing. What he could have done for Tom Tit. I don’t get the Sneed reference though.

On an episode of the Simpsons, they go to a store called Sneed’s Seed and Feed (formerly Chuck’s).

[Joey_P]

@PlainJain

That is some funny stuff right there. OMG, I’m laughing. What he could have done for Tom Tit. I don’t get the Sneed reference though.

Ronald said it’s a recycled Simpson’s joke. My ‘Sneed’ comment is a reference to the original joke.

[Count_Blucher]

Coworker- “I can’t believe it! She just told me to go the Hell.”

Me- “Make sure you get Toll Money. Its in the Contract.”

cue co-worker digging through contract book for 5 minutes to find the section on 'Toll Money. :rolleyes:

[Haunted_Pasta]

I’ve gotten a fair number of blank looks from people who spoke an unintentional rhyme and gotten my standard reply of “Hey, you’re a poet and you weren’t even aware of the fact!”

I figure they’ve probably just helplessly fallen into speechless awe at my comedic skills.

[drewtwo99]

@Haunted_Pasta

I’ve gotten a fair number of blank looks from people who spoke an unintentional rhyme and gotten my standard reply of “Hey, you’re a poet and you weren’t even aware of the fact!”

I figure they’ve probably just helplessly fallen into speechless awe at my comedic skills.

Lol! I love it… I’m going to try using this next time I catch an unintentional rhyme and see if I can get a laugh.