Two people agree to go see a movie and go grab a bite to eat after. Person 1 suggests a multiplex at a large mall; said mall is more or less in his or her neighborhood. This is out of Person 2’s usual orbit but only half an hour away, so Person 2 agrees to this theater.
P1 gives P2 the choice of times; P2 picks the 4:10 show; P1 says “okay, see you out front by the box office, 4ish.”
P2 gets to the general mall area at 4:00, but has problems finding the theater, arriving by the box office sometime between 4:08 and 4:10 – does not see P1. P2 goes and looks in the lobby, though from the other side of the ticket taker, and does not see P1. P2 then returns to the area outside the box office to wait, figuring since there will be ten minutes or more of previews, etc., the movie’s start isn’t actually iminent. Plus, of course, P1 said “4ish” and “by the box office.”
P1, meanwhile, had arrived at 4:05, and, not seeing P2, bought a ticket and gone into the theater, looking for P2; not seeing P2, P1 took a seat near the back so he or she would see P2 if P2 arrived.
P2 waited about half an hour. figuring if P1 were just late, they could catch a burger first and go see the 7:00 show. Once it was past the time that the movie would actually begin, P2 headed home.
Leaving aside the lack of cell phone use during all of this – does P2 have a right to be annoyed with P1?
I think so; “See you out front by the box office” != “I’m going to buy a ticket and go in as soon as I get there, so you should buy a ticket and come into the theater and look for me on the off chance that I might be there rather than possibly running late.”
Possibly P2 could feel a bit hard done by. But the whole arrangement sounds too vague for either party to be terribly annoyed. Whenever I’m involved in these “meet outside the cinema” affairs we always have ground rules if there are no mobile phones involved:
how long to wait if the other parties don’t show?
is it OK to buy a ticket and enter the cinema without the other parties?
I think that it’s a waste of energy for either person to be miffed, and that energy would be better expended in an extra three minutes of planning that can keep this from happening next time.
Which one are you Twicks? Whicherver one is you is right…
Seriously seems like simple misscommunication to me. Nobody should be pissed. Just laugh it off and say what knucklehead luddites we are for not having/using cell phones.
Yeah, this isn’t the end of the world – note that I am describing the reaction as “miffed” not “burning with the white-hot anger of a wrathful Olympic deity.” And yeah, it was simple miscommunication.
That’s why we generally plan to meet more than ten minutes ahead of time.
Of course we’re also weird and enjoy watching the previews as well as having popcorn and soda and all that. Since we go so rarely, it’s part of the experience. Half an hour ahead of time gives us the time to meet up (in case of such things in the OP, or people running behind in traffic etc), get our tickets and everything else and get settled.
Edit: If I were P2, I’d be miffed for about 2 minutes and then chalk it up to a misunderstanding and a reminder to make sure next time we specify who is waiting where for how long .
Twickster being the Practically Perfect Poster* that she is (and from Philadelphia, PA, no less!) I have no doubt she is P2, barely perceptibally partially perturbed, but perfectly permitted to be so. If I were P2, I’d be a little annoyed and, as others have said, make a note to myself to be more specific next time.
Dammit, IN THE THEATER is NOT OUT FRONT BY THE BOX OFFICE. P1 had no right to change the agreement (which sounds plenty clear to me), nor to assume that P2 was stupid enough to change it. If I were P2 I’d be more than miffed.
And 4:10 is plenty close enough to 4ish that there’s no compelling reason to abandon ship at 4:05, especially given the typical lapse (10? 15? 20? minutes) between stated showtime and actual showtime.
I’d be miffed if I were P2; no one I’ve gone to the movies with would go in without the other party, so I’d never think to buy a ticket and follow P1 into the theater.
I’d be more annoyed if I was P1 than P2. The movie we agreed to see started at 4:10; I don’t know about where P1 and P2 live but around here movies are required to start at the advertised times, so the trailers are several minutes earlier than that. It got to be about that time, so I’d get nervous, and assume I was the later arriver since P2 hadn’t showed up. P2 must be in the theater then, so I buy my ticket, discover that P2 isn’t in fact there, never shows up, leaving me to watch the movie - alone.
Well, if I was really P1 I’d poke my head out into the lobby before the trailers ended to see if P2 was going to show up. I like trailers, though, so I’d be annoyed then, too.
I think both parties have a right to be slightly miffed (which negates any miffing). Maybe this is because I am an on time person, when I know a start time I am there on time. I have to agree with elfkin477, I like trailers too, it’s part of the movie experience.
I think if ‘in front of the box office’ was expressed, then ‘in front of the box office’ should have been the expected meeting place. P2 jumped ship too early. There should be no assumptions of meeting inside the theather if the box office was the specified meeting place. My muttins would be miffed too!
P1 and P2 both live in Philadelphia, where (as stated in the OP), the publicized start time is when the* trailers* start; the actual start of the movie is at least five minutes after that, so there is known wiggle room on the time.
I can understand P2 being a little miffed here, but it’s a “lesson learned” kind of thing, and not worth staying annoyed over - it was just a movie, after all. This stuff is the reason why my friends and I don’t make a rendezvous time close to an event time any more. Somebody’s always running a little late, or wants popcorn but there’s a line, or has to run to the bathroom, etc.
Now, one time I was the P2 running late from work to attend a one-night-only concert, and P1 - who had my ticket - got antsy about maybe missing the beginning of the show and went in without me. That took a little while longer to get past, and yes, P1 got an earful.
