So Mrs. Lacha & myself are off to have a little adventure on the high seas in the beginning of December! OK, so we’re not off to board galleons & hoard doubloons or anything, but we’re doing a three-day cruise to the Bahamas out of Miami, and that’s close enough for me. But I do want to indulge my Inner Pirate; can I get away with calling the cabin boy (or Stateroom Attendant, as stated in the brochure – whatever!) a “scurvy son of a sea-whore?” Can I keep saying the phrase, “Poop Deck,” loudly?
Or shall I just throw caution to the four winds and keep asking the bartenders, “When’s Isaac coming back on shift?”
Anyone who has ever been on one of these soujourns: tell me what to expect?
Duty free rum exists once you are outside of US territorial waters. The wife and I got a 1.14L bottle of Captain Morgan for $10 on board.
DO NOT take it back to your cabin. There was a ~$25 “corking fee” to do that, which really kills any duty you save. Either get it on the last day, or have them hold it until then.
Drink the liquor you smuggled on board in plastic bottles in your luggage. Get the “coke card”, which entitles you to unlimited soda and juice for a certain price.
The housekeepers and bartenders work for tips, so they’ll pretty much let you say anything to them. Keep in mind, though, one is in your room all alone at times, and one controls what you are imbibing. Mock them at your own risk.
At dinner, try something you never had before. If you don’t like it, chances are they are serving something you like somewhere else, so there’s no risk. On most cruises, meals are included. If you go to bed hungry, there’s no one to blame but yourself.
Get up at 4AM and watch the sunrise at least one day at sea.
My guess is that the bartenders have all heard the Isaac jokes a million times. They’ll pretend to think they are funny and original then spit in your drink when your not looking. AArrr gimme a rum and spit is what I’d say.