Here I am in da UP, and I figgered I should tell youse guys how the vacation is going. Mr. Athena went four-wheeling with my Dad today, and I got stuck doing “girl stuff” with my Mom. Thus the time spent posting on the straight dope - only so much shopping and gossip I can take.
So far:
We’ve only been to the ER once, minor accident involving Mr. Athena, a bratwurst, and a knife that turned out to be sharper than anyone expected. 3 stitches. We went to the ER despite my father’s advice to just pour Hartley’s brandy over it and drink a shot while you’re at it.
Gromit the Dog only shit inside once, but he managed to do it in 4 different rooms, including on my mother’s bed. He did it all 10 minutes after Mr. Athena and I left for a bike ride, so my mother had to clean it up. Amazingly enough, my mother still likes him. What can you say? A mother’s love is endless, I guess.
House update:
It’s amazing how many crappy houses there are up here. We saw bright red countertop and bright blue countertop. We saw white shag carpet and blue swag curtains. But the best was the spiral staircase. Imagine a hole in the floor, approximately 4’ by 6’. Imagine orangish red carpeting. Imagine a spiral staircase descending into… well, I don’t know, since I didn’t go down it. Imagine that spiral staircase completely encased in orangesh red shag carpeting. Imagine even the walls covered in that carpeting.
So far, we’ve looked at 6 houses, and none of them are very good. Maybe we’ll build one. Anyone have any experience building houses?
That’s it for now. I’ll post another update next week, since I know you’re all just devastated without my 2.038 posts a day (or whatever it is…!)
Oh my. That is frightening, Athena. I’m sad to say this sounds very similar to a cottage our family used to rent on Wampler’s lake about 30 years ago. How old must this carpet be? I’m pretty sure the last shag was made in about 1976, wasn’t it?
Oh man, I would get so laid if I owned a house like that. “Hey baby,” I’d say as I adjusted the lapels on my leisure suit, “Welcome to Strainger’s luuuv cottage.”
I don’t know how old the carpeting is. However, the house was on something called “Pickett Lake”, which as far as I could tell was a swamp. Thus, I’m guessing the skeeters are quite, how shall we say, incredulous? in June, at least.
Right now, no skeeters. Believe it or not, it’s been hot and humid. Getting better, though.
Is this your first experience in the U.P.? This isn’t unusual actually. Building would probably be the best bet.
But don’t forget the homemade sauna. You can’t survive the winter in the U.P. without a sauna. And a lot of beer. I may be a troll,(someone who lives in the lower peninsula) but I know what the winters are like up there. You have to have a sauna. And a snowmobile too.