Behold, O Foolish Mortals, and face the wrath of my Underpants Ray! It grabs ahold of the edge of the fabric of space and time, and gives the surface of reality a gigantic cosmic wedgie! Anything caught in the space/time fabric wedged between the butt cheeks of creation is summarily smashed, crushed, devastated, and otherwise destroyed. Bwahahahaha!
If you do not immediately give me ten thousand virgins to deflower, and force Pepsico to start making Josta again, I will be forced to use my Underpants Ray on three targets… if my demands are not met within twenty-four hours, I will first destroy… ::spins the wheel of City-Destruction::… Sydney, Australia! If forty-eight hours pass and you have still not provided me with ten thousand virgins and Josta, then the next city to be erased will be… Cleveland, Ohio! Yes, I am well aware that Cleveland rocks… you shall not make me stray from my course! Finally, if seventy-three hours (I’m on daylight-saving time) pass by and my bitches and soda still aren’t in my grasp, then I shall be forced to obliterate… Nantucket!
Those are my demands, people of Earth. After Nantucket’s destruction, I will destroy another, random city every twelve hours, until I have ten thousand virgins - yes, ten thousand, and not a virgin less! - and a steady production of Josta. Oh, yeah, and the virgins must be female, and reasonably attractive, and have big boobies.
You shall weep for the day that your miserable little testicle of a planet crossed me, the Great and Malignant SPOOFE!