Many times I would get a call from a Hispanic man asking for, say, Maria, and he’d just start talking to me like I was her. I’m pretty sure I don’t sound like Maria, unless she’s 70 years old and has enjoyed whiskey and cigars every day since she was ten.
One day I got a wrong number from a pleasant sounding woman. “No, I’m afraid you got the wrong number. That’s OK. So… What’s up?” We had a nice little conversation.
When I was going to College in Springfield, MA, my apartment number was apparently close to some hairdresser’s.
I got so many calls requesting appointments that I just changed my answering machine to state “Hi, you’ve reached Labtrash, leave a message, and if you’re calling about a hair appointment, you’ve got the wrong number”.
My number is one off from a local cab company.
“Can I get a cab at Embarcadero and Taylor?”
“I’m not a cab company - wrong number.”
“OK, thanks!” <click>
If I’m feeling charitable I’ll call the cab company and tell them there’s a fare waiting at the Embarcadero and Taylor. Doing my civic duty for the tourists. (It’s always tourists - the locals have the number memorized or saved in their phones. And we don’t go to Fisherman’s Wharf. :))
There is one guy who calls my cell at least once a week looking for Rhonda. I’ve asked him what number he is trying to reach several times and he just hangs up. So I’ve stopped answering his calls.
The best/worst wrong number I received was about 2:30 in the morning. Of course you know how it is when the phone rings at that time, instant dread. My first thought was that someone in my family was dead. So I answer the phone not completely awake. There is a hysterical woman on the other end sobbing. She is crying so hard I can barely understand her. She also sounds very much like my sister to my half asleep self. After asking her several times what is wrong she finally screams, “Mom is dead!” Then she says it over and over and over through her sobbing. I was asking her how, when, what? After a few minutes she settles down a little and says, “Is this Brittany?” NO! I’m not Brittany. When I told her no, she hung up on me I suppose to call the right person.
I had this irrational urge to call my mother right then to see if she was in fact alive. But at that hour she wouldn’t have answered the phone so I waited until morning. Thankfully she was and still is fine.
My parents had the same phone number for over 25 years. They changed phone companies a few years ago and their prefix changed but not the last four numbers. The phone company then very nicely gave their old number out to a poor little old lady in town. I have no idea who she is but I’ve always felt very sorry for her. I’ve even accidently called her when trying to call my mother . . . more than once. (what can you expect? it was my phone number for two decades.) I expect she gets at least one call a month looking for my parents.
RING
Me: Hello
Japanese Guy: Who are you?!
Me: CLICK!
RING
Me: Hello
Japanese Guy: Who are you?!
Me: CLICK!
RING
Me: Hello
Japanese Guy: Why do you hang up my phone?!
Me: Because you’re rude.
Japanese Guy: Who are you?!
Me: CLICK!
RING
Me: Hello
Japanese Guy: Why do you hang up my phone again?!
Me: Because you’re rude.
Japanese Guy: What is rude?!
Me: Starting a conversation with “Who are you?!” is rude.
Japanese Guy: No is not!..Who are you?!
Me: CLICK!
RING
Me: Hello
Japanese Guy: You hang up my phone again!
Me: …
Japanese Guy: Why you hang up my phone again?!
Me: …
Japanese Guy: Is not rude! Saying “Who are you?” is not rude!
Me: Okay…Who are you?
Japanese Guy: Who are you?!
Me: CLICK!
RING
Me: Hello
Japanese Guy: Why do you say I am rude?
Me: I told you.
Japanese Guy: How do I know who are you if I don’t say “Who are you?!”
Me: Do you always start conversations that way?
Japanese Guy: Yes.
Me: In Japan?
Japanese Guy: Yes!
Me: Well, In America that is considered rude.
Japanese Guy: I am in Japan!
Me: But, I am in America! In America you introduce yourself first. You say “Hello, I am so-and-so, to whom am I speaking?”
Japanese Guy: In Japan is okay to say “Who are you?!”
Me: In America It’s okay to do this; CLICK!
RING
Me: Hello
Japanese Guy: Don’t hang up my phone!
Me: Okay, who are you?
Mr. Ishihara: I am Mr. Ishihara. Who are you?
Me: Why do you keep calling me?
Mr. Ishihara: Tell me who are you?
Me: It’s too late for that. I might tell you my name after you tell me why you are calling me.
Mr. Ishihara: What is your business?
Me: None of yours!
Mr. Ishihara: What?!
Me: My business is none of yours!
Mr. Ishihara: …What?!
Me: My business is none of your business! What I do for a living is none of your concern.
Mr. Ishihara: Why don’t you tell me what is your business?
Me: Tell me why you are calling first.
Mr. Ishihara: What is your business?
Me: CLICK!
RING
Me: Hello
Mr. Ishihara: Please tell me what is your business?
Me: Why do you want to know? What is your business?
Mr. Ishihara: My business is international sales.
Me: Why do you need to know my business.
Mr. Ishihara: I have many accounts, many staff, many phones. I don’t know this business. I don’t know this phone number.
Me: You know my number–you called it.
Mr. Ishihara: No, I didn’t
Me: Yes you did! Just now! Several times! Over and over!
Mr. Ishihara: No! Before! Someone call your business and don’t write it down. I cannot bill account!
Me: No one called my business. This is not my business. This is my home. You called me at home.
Mr. Ishihara: But your business number is in my phone bill!
Me: This number???
Mr. Ishihara: Yes!
Me: This is my home, not my business.
Mr. Ishihara: Why would someone call your home?
Me: I don’t know! Who called?
Mr. Ishihara: I don’t know!
Me: Maybe they called the wrong number.
Mr. Ishihara: Maybe…but, what is your business?
Me: I don’t do any international business with anyone in Japan. It’s just a wrong number. Okay?!
Mr. Ishihara: Okay…Goodbye.
Me: Goodbye!; CLICK
Two months later:
RING
Me: Hello
Mr. Ishihara: Who are you?!
Me: Are you Mr. Ishihara?
Mr. Ishihara: Yes!
Me: Are you calling because my number is on your phone bill?
Mr. Ishihara: Yes!
Me: I’m the same man you called, over and over, two months ago because my number was on your phone bill!!!
Mr. Ishihara: …oh…CLICK
I could tell you some stories of prank calls and having fun…
This seemed appropriate.
Rich, I’m sure that was exceedingly annoying at the time, but it makes a great story. Thanks. 
That made me giggle. A lot. Which I really needed. Seriously, thank you.
This sounds like the makings of a SNL skit.
Rich, that was awesome. Like a good cartoon strip or a short film or something. 
I know I’ve told the story on here before of the guy who collect called me from jail. They did not provide a name before asking me if I’d accept the charges, and with the wacko group of friends I had it was entirely possible that I’d know someone in jail, so I accepted the charges. After finding out we didn’t know each other, he asked if I’d talk to him for a bit anyway since it had taken him so long to get his turn at the phone, so I did. Nice enough bloke, not creepy or anything. What was creepy was a couple days later when he got out and kept calling me, trying to convince me to meet up with him some time. I continued to politely decline until he got the message.
Along the lines of people continuing to call a wrong number, I keep getting calls to my direct extension at work for some girl who’s never worked here, to my knowledge. I’ve let them know at least 20 times over the last three years that she doesn’t work here and never has, they “make a note of it”, and then call back a couple months later.
Thanks for the compliments, guys. But I couldn’t have done it without Mr. Ishihara. He deserves most of the credit.
Domo arigato, Mr. Ishihara!
A friend told me of a technique for dealing with the calls from collection agencies seeking former employees. After about 5 calls for Susan, and 5 responses that she no longer works here, the sixth call goes like this:
“You’re calling about the money she owes? Great - she called yesterday and told us to give you her new number - it’s XXX-XXXX. Now, she said the people there like to fool around - they may claim it’s some sort of government office, or the police, or some such. You may have to call a bunch of times and be pretty rude and even obscene - that way they’ll know to pass the call along to her. She said to tell you keep trying until you get through to her.”
Every 6 months or so a woman calls my home number thinking she has reached a convenience store. And if I’m not there, even though my answering machine says “Hi! You’ve reached me!”, she leaves a message.
Your mother could have gone the blackmail route, threatening to give out dozens of Saturday night reservations, leaving the restaurant to deal with a whole bunch of unhappy customers on the busiest night of the week.
My current number is apparantly one digit away from a local theologic seminary, and from a local burrito place. I get about one call a month for both these places. Usually, though, the people who are calling them are quite pleasant to deal with, and have no trouble hearing that they’ve gotten the wrong number.
A few years ago I was waiting for my pizza order to get done at a local Pizza Hut, and got to talking to the guy behind the counter. They apparantly had inheirited the phone number that had been stamped on a popular brand of household appliances, for their service and repair service. (I think it was Singer sewing machines.) In the time since those plates left the factory the company’s repair and service division had left Rochester, and the number was released back to the phone company.
So, about once a month, and maybe more often, this Pizza Hut would get calls from desperate owners of these appliances looking for where the nearest authorized service facility might be.
The guy I was talking to said he’d always felt sorry for those people.
I know someone who would be interested in stopping those faxes… why don’t you just mail them to the person whose mortgage it is, and include a little note saying “Don’t you wish your bank cared enough about you to double check a fax number?”
Yes, blackmailing people that are preparing your food sounds like an excellent idea!
I keep getting collection calls for the previous occupant of my house. (I guess they’re doing a phone lookup from the address.) It’s starting to get really annoying.