I don’t know. This might be the equivalent of dipping pigtails into inkwell.
What the hell? Neither of her adult grown big-person type children have a job?!?? What?!?! How the hell is that even possible?
I could understand feeling moderately bad for your SIL, but her kids don’t even deserve to live in the car. Fuck, how could anyone in good conscience live off their single parent at that age. Do they just have no shame?
That kind of thing repulses me, sorry. You’re an adult; move the fuck out of mommy’s womb and get a frickin’ job. Here’s a thought, why don’t you useless wastes of life help pay off the bills your mother ran up taking care of your worthless asses.
Oh, and Biggirl, don’t give her any money. She’s not blameless in this either, I imagine.
A-freakin’-men JDe–these people sound like useless sacks of air to me. Some people are just mobile money pits and the best thing for them is a nice, frigid dose of reality (i.e. spending the night on the streets).
I agree, don’t give her a cent. If you want to give her something, stop by a bookstore and buy her a book about budgeting and her kids each a book about job searches or something like that.
I feel sorry for this woman’s granddaughter. Her life is going to be screwed up if something doesn’t change.
No, no, noreinew and Veb, it was from Biggirl’s post~ xmas rant about the electronic keyboard.
NinetyWt Thanks for the link. Now I think I understand what crawled up ganglian’s ass and died. . .he (she?) was jumped on for not being able to spot an obvious joke (or choosing to ignore the fact that it was a joke), and hasn’t gotten over it yet.
Hey, ganglian, what say I send you $.50 and you can use it to phone a proctologist who may be able to help you out?:dubious:
Don’t hand over a cent, Biggirl, much less twelve thousand dollars. Mother 'o pearl, it takes a staggering amount of pure gall to even ask for that. Until they get serious about balancing needs versus wants, any financial bail-out will just feed the problem. Hey, their real answers, which they won’t like, are what your husband could teach them about basic life skills.
FWIW I have a relative, less extreme example, who chronically lurches from crisis to crisis. (Gilda Radner: “It’s always something!”) She persists in operating from the belief that she can have frills she wants, ignoring the most basic fiscal common sense, but it’ll all work out somehow. The “somehow” usually consists of panicked pleas for other people to bail her out. Oh, she can’t make her bills for necessities, so that crisis is real. But she is loathe to accept responsiblity for creating the situation in the first place. Worse, she seems to find the stresses of constant crisis mode acceptable as long as she ends up with what she wants.
Long, hard row to hoe, even for family. We finally, collectively, said “no way”. She’s gotten the message. She doesn’t like it, and it took a real train wreck to drive reality home, but maybe she’s finally growing up at 35+.
Best of luck and resolve, Biggirl, and hang tough.
Veb
Biggirl (I bow before your greatness, btw), IMO the biggest favour you could do to this woman and her shiftless progeny is to turn your back on her, put your fingers in your ears and go; “La la la la, I am singing the not-listening song… la la la…”
As has been abundantly noted in this thread, SIL has money problems. She has passed those problems on to her children, who obviously think life OWES them something, so why should they get a job?
I was a person who was irresponsible with money. A brush with being in debt (terrifying in itself) and debt collectors (Debt Terror to the power of n) taught me my lesson. Being thrown to the wolves and held responsible for myself taught me better than anything else could have.
SIL needs to grow up. Let her lie in the bed she made. It’s the most compassionate thing you can do, because it’s the best way to give your SIL and her niece the chance to grow into well-adjusted people.
I’m afraid that you’re incorrect, Biggirl. You’ve forgotten this Brutal Pitting posted just after the first time we met. 
I wouldn’t give the woman a dime, either. She’s gotta burn some blisters. She’ll never have the incentive to become a responsible adult if someone keeps bailing her out every time her own stupidity gets her into trouble.
I would, however, arrange for the care of the children if she winds up homeless. It’s not their fault that their mother is a waste of human skin.
Merry Christmas, Bildo! Was that almost 3 years ago? You’re right. It was horrible. All those evil, nasty people. Why did you have to bring that up again and reopen all those wounds?
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Tell her to sell the car and give her a nice new bus pass for an early birthday present.
Nope, no money for her. You don’t solve money problems with money, you solve them with education. Sending her to a class on how to manage finances/life is a great idea. I wouldn’t give her a red cent until she gets her priorities straight.
Biggirl, don’t give her anything – not even the book! (She can probably find a book on money management at the local library, but I doubt if she would read it.)
And just remember that when you say “no,” you don’t owe anyone an explanation. If you choose to give a reason, do it once but refuse to argue about it.
If you do want to help those in need, give to a deserving and useful organization like Doctors Without Borders.
Houseman and I talked about it. We really don’t want to see them in the street-- or staying with us. Actually there’s a whole lot of family. Everybody will end up somewhere if it comes to that-- so, if they sell the car and come up short, we’ll see what else can be done (it looks like there’s more than the rent thats due).
The son will work, he’s just not working now. He’s also in the reserves and expects to be called any minute now. The daughter, well, she’s what you call a drama queen. Talking to her is like tuning into daytime TV-- part soap opera, part Jerry Springer. It’s probably a good thing she lives with her mother, especially because of the granddaugher.
The thing that gets me is that if they have to sell the car or the lights get turned off, then it’s somehow my fault. I’ve gotten two calls already from two of Houseman’s other siblings (he’s got 11 in all!) “Did you hear about “B”? What are you going to do about it?”
NOTHING!! That’s what.
Well, you could try telling them that if her electricity gets cut off you would consider buying them some candles. Then again, that kind of talk is probably not gonna earn you any Brownie points with the in-laws.
I have searched your posts, ganglian, and found that they were all made in the Pit. What’s more, they seem to be quite nasty, even for the Pit. Either cool your jets or find another playground.
Lynn
For the Straight Dope
Supporting temporary foolishness is one thing. Supporting non-ending stupidity another. Don’t let them work you, Biggirl. Otherwise, stupid in-laws could very likely be back for more support for more of their stupidity.
My in-law story:
MIL dies and FIL sells us their house, because “it has too many memories”, but “he wants us to ‘have’ it, so house stays in family”. He will carry the mortgage balance with no interest - nice enticement - and a ‘gentlemen’s agreement’ payment plan is cooked up. We sell our comfortable/paid for smaller house, give him the money from the sale, and move in.
He backs out of agreement when he remarries 1 1/2 years later, and wants all his money. The amount is $4,000.00 more than was originally agreed on. We think maybe new wife has a bit to do with it, but we go to the bank and get the money to pay them out. I chalk it up to being stupid about not getting agreement in writing.
FIL and new wife, along with her 2 ‘kids’ (22 & 24) from a previous marriage, helps him blow through much of the rest of the money he got from 1st wife’s life insurance, house sale, cabin sale, etc. New cars, lots of cigarettes and booze, poodles, really bad business investment in her son’s new company, fixing up her daughter’s place, etc.
They take what is left, borrow some more from people he knows, go off to another town, and buy a small grocery/confectionery store - even after his knowledgeable finance/business son is telling them the books, etc., of the previous owner aren’t making sense financially. Nor does the business itself make sense, due to changed conditions in the area. But, the step MIL “knows better”, because she had been a self taught bookkeeper for a small electrical retail and service company.
A few months later my wife calls me to the phone. It’s FIL and step MIL, each on a phone and both sauced, telling me they’re coming back - gone bankrupt - and that the garage my wife and I have “wasn’t part of the house sale”, and they want to use it to store their stuff. I tell them to forget it, I use it a lot for my business, and to phone back when they’re sober. We’ll see what else can be done. They still can’t figure out why they can’t use garage and start getting huffy. I hang up.
After phone call, her ‘kids’ now also think I’m not so nice. I tell wife to quit doing them any more favors than necessary. The ‘kids’ quit calling us so much.
FIL and step MIL come back, wife rents and pays for storage space for them till they find housing, they move into subsidized housing with the 4 poodles. Drinking and smoking is reduced to what they can afford and then he dies. She moves into a basement suite with the poodles. None of them call us anymore.
Wow…just wow.
Normally I’m pretty sympathetic, ESPECIALLY to those that are unlucky. As in, you’re doing fine until a huge medical bill bites you in the ass and that sort of thing.
But, THESE people? I’m getting angry just READING about them! It’s like any sympathy I have just vanishes(but, I feel for the grandchild). How can anyone be so brazen as to ask for 12,000$? ESPECIALLY when buying something one should know they cannot afford! Christ! At least the son seems to be trying.
Could they cover the rent arrears by guesting on Springer?