My cousin decided at the “tender” age of 18 or so, that she didn’t want to work for a living. So she didn’t. She got pregnant and shortly afterward went on welfare.
Her two kids are now 15 and 18, and her time is running out. She never really had to struggle, because even though she was on welfare, what it didn’t cover (such as her wanting to own and breed horses) her well off parents did.
She is almost FORTY now. With NO education, no life skills, no marketable skills. Hell, she doesn’t even know how to keep her house clean.
Her parents only “enabled” her to ruin her life. Well, the axe has fallen, her well-to-do father was just fired from his job.
The free ride ends soon. What your SIL is doing to her two kids will end up HERE if she doesn’t stop NOW.
This isn’t just about “learning” about money. This is about owning up to being an adult and having some pride in one’s self and one’s life, in addition to learning not to be a FREAKING drain on the rest of society. (oops, sorry, I was trying SO hard to be calm too!)
Well, last I checked we were discussing human beings, you scwewy wabbit.
That said, I don’t get made at these folks because I feel sorry for them. They’re never going to be able to build a future for themselves until they learn to take care of themselves. They can’t even take advantage of whatever good breaks they get in life because their natural tendency is to squander them.
To me, that’s a pretty horrible situation to be in. It’s one thing not to be able to get a break, it’s another not to be able to do anything with a break even if you do catch one.
I also tend to take what I read in discussion boards with a grain of salt. I’m sure the OP posted what she believed to be the truth, and it probably is. But in one-sided discussions, it’s wise to wonder what the other side would have to say for themselves.
At what point do people become responsible for the choices they’ve made? My sympathy is for those who are in bad situations beyond their own control. If that makes me an asshole, well, then call me the chocolate starfish.
The trouble is, once you bail these people out, they will expect it for the rest of their life. We are talking grown up people here. Run your own life.
I work in prioperty management, and we rent some apts to people exactly like these. They will have more children before they will go to work and support themselves. They are always asking me for money. I just tell them “That’s not my job.”
I’ll never forget the dark cold February night when a couple came in to the office. “Oh, we’re desperate. We’re living in a car with our kids. We need a place to live. We’ll take anything. Social Services will pay for it.” I told them “We have a two bedroom apt. you can move into right away.” They asked “Where is it located?” When I told them, the response was an insulted 'I’m not living there." Fine. Live in your car then.
Then there is, fortunately, a very simple solution to the problem.
Send Biggirl the rent money and such other financial aid as you deem appropriate (via PayPal or something similar), with instructions to forward those monies on to her niece.
“My sincere thanks to anybody who actually waded through all that.”
You’re welcome, Peregine.
This whole thread makes me cry. No, no, not because I feel sorry for the leeches, but because there’s a lot of people who really NEED help but may end up not getting it(or having a hard time getting it) because of the leeches or the idiots that Annie-Xmas mentioned.
It pisses me off that people who just need a kick in the ass get breaks while people who really NEED the breaks slip through the cracks.
Evil: I hear you–I too tend to feel sorry for people. If I’ve helped them out before, however, and they continue in the behavior which caused the problem in the first place, my patience will quickly run out. There is a certain type of human who basically exists to parasitize (did I just make a new word?) others and I really really really don’t like them. The two kids mentioned here sound like Grade-A examples of human leeches to me.
The best (and only, in my opinion) cure for leechdom is a good bracing dose of reality; a few days of hunger and homelessness tend to wondrously motivate these folks in my experience.
a) Not a dime for them
b) $12K in RENT for nine months? Where the fuck are they living? Or is that really $8K in rent and $4K in credit cards etc…either way, no help until the car is gone and they are living on starvation rations…
Envious? HELL NO!! I went through our lovely “welfare” system many years ago, only for a short time, but, to me anyway, it was sucky as can be!!!
Mad? Not really that either. More just not wanting to pay so that someone else can just laze around. People like this aren’t just “paying their dues”. And I don’t regret or feel angry that I had to do that.
They aren’t doing ANYTHING, if that’s what they truly want to do? FINE! But people like Biggirl shouldn’t be being harrassed to pay for their lifestyle. So, I’m not angry, I’m exasperated and disgusted at the “hand me my wants on a silver platter” mentality.
I’m also sad that my Aunt (and people like her, like perhaps Biggirl’s SIL) has thrown away her health and youth supporting my cousin and raising her kids. I realize she brought it on herself, but now? In her golden years, when she should be able to retire and relax? All their money went to the shiftless kids and their “golden” years are likely to be very poor and unhappy ones.
No, no, not because I feel sorry for the leeches, but because there’s a lot of people who really NEED help but may end up not getting it(or having a hard time getting it) because of the leeches or the idiots that Annie-Xmas mentioned.