You are the Jock Itch of my life...

The BBQ Pit
1

OK, so this morning at around 11:00 AM, I am starting to mow the lawn. My neighbor, who moved in about 6 months ago, comes out in her pajamas and says to me “Don’t you know it’s Saturday?”

Well, hello, you stupid hag, I think I did. After all, it’s 11:00 AM and I’m not at work, so I’m pretty sure it’s not a regularly sceduled workday. I’ve already taken my daughter to a soccer game and I’ve been up for 5 hours already, so excuse the fuck out of me if I am interrupting your hangover. Come to think of it, were’nt you the one who said they moved into this neighborhood because the clean yards and lots of kids reminded you of where you grew up? You were, and I recognize your family from the news.

You are the crotch rot who buys a $500,000 house in the mountains and then screams at the sherrif when your pure bred cat becomes brunch for a lynx. You are the afterbirth who insists that the rescuers risk their lives to save your home that you had to build in the (choose one) {firezone/hurricane alley/earthquake faultline}. You are the one who moves into Manhattan and complains about the cab drivers blowing their horns.

If by some chance you don’t know who you are, Let me help with the ID. You are the toe jam eating ignoramus who thinks it is cool to bring a live cell phone to a concert/symphony/ball game. Let me give you a fucking reality check, self centered scumbag, you are not cool, you are not important, and you are not impressive. What you are is a bitch/bastard, a buzzkill, a buttlicker, and probably the worst of all, one whose existence, if a poll would to be taken among who you think are your peers, would cut you loose in a second.

I HATE YOU. If for some reason you still do not recognize yourself, I invite others to add their own specific ID’s. You need to know who you are.

Good night, and God Bless.

2

Wow. I’ve had some weird neighbors, but this one seems to take the cake. Just tell her that the majority of the world operates during daylight hours, and 11:00 AM is well past the time when most people are awake. If she’s still sleeping off a hangover at that time of day, then she’s the one with the problem, not you.

3

I’m a night person (in fact, I just woke up. However, I don’t think that mowing your lawn at 11 AM is unreasonable, particularly in this heat. Mowing it at 7 AM is unreasonable.

4

Sounds like the kid of neighbor who is also always looking out their windows to find out what everyone in the 'hood is doing. I hate those nosy bastards. And yes, mowing at 7:00 am is unreasonable, as is starting your noisy-ass, doesn’t-run-anyway, POS Harley, yelling at your kids, having your shitty dog bark, etc… All these things should wait until at least 9 am, preferably 10.

I had some neighbors across the street who, every saturday morning would be up yelling and the dogs barking early in the morning. At this time, I was living alone and had a loaded 30.06 and 12 guage next to my bed. On more than one occasion I was ready to blast the dog. One morning, I woke up to the ruckus of all rucki (;)). I was ready to come out blasting. I looked out and saw that it was a wrecking ball tearing the house down! Whoopee! I had my own little, private party that night.

(I live in a transitional neighborhood and across the street were some old, scummy houses. That was one of them. There were about 20 people living there and about 5 dogs. I hope they make that lot into a park. That would be nice.)

5

This is my first post in the pit. Please excuse me if I am not offensive enough.

A neighbor a couple of years ago kept me awake until 4:00 a.m. while she … um, entertained her gentleman caller with her freaking bedroom windows open.

You betcha I was out there at 7:00 a.m. mowing my lawn.

6

Sounds like kellibelli is your neighbor.

7

Your point Alphagene?

8

The last post on that thread was july 24th, it must have taken some work on your part to find it.

If you have some kind of issue with me, please email me and we can talk it out. There is no need to clutter up the board with it. My email is in my profile, I would give you my home number, but this I the internet, and all sorts of wierdos might call me…

Hmmmmmmm, then again, maybe I should! :smiley:

9

My next door neighbor frequently shows up unannounced for a nice, long visit. And she brings her dog. A six-pound, smelly, fiesty, slobbering foo-foo dog. And she lets it sit on my carpet. My nice, clean, BRAND-NEW BEIGE CARPET. Now don’t put me down as overly materialistic–it’s one thing for me to track mud on that carpet, but it’s a completely different thing for this unwashed animal roll around and rub its behind on it.

My parents were in town one weekend, so I was going to take them out to dinner. Well, my next door neighbor sees us leaving and decides to invite herself out to dinner. She didn’t shut up the whole time.

10

Hey Jeep–

I can’t believe I am invoking Ann Landers, but here goes–Nobody can take advantage of you without your letting them.

And I’m proud to invoke Miss Manners–you can tell someone that you’re sorry, that you already have plans, and so you can’t see them. You don’t have to tell them that your plans were not to see them.

Kellibelli–

I’m not sure that Alphagene was attacking you. I guss it’s pretty common for people to put in a link to a recent similar thread, right?

As to the OP–

One of the joys of a push-reel mower is that it makes no noise. You all should consider getting one. Less trouble than a power mower, and just as easy to use.

11

Exactly.

I thought it was amusing that two people posted Pit threads about neighbors complaining about late morning lawnmowing, but the two posters were on opposite sides of the mower. So I provided a link.

There was no “point”, really.