You can only have 5 dinosaurs

Each can be any species. You can specify male or female. If you select male and female members of the same species they will mate and produce viable, fertile offspring.

You are given an unlimited supply of Purina Sauropod Chow in both Vegetarian and Carnivore variety, plus the full line of HealThieropod canned products, now in the flip top 55 gallon drum. You are also given 300 square miles of land with a variety of terrain, including forest, swamps, flat plains, and hills and mountains, pretty much any thing a dinosaur needs. The land is adjacent to a 300 square mile ocean bay that you are free to use.

If the dinosaurs are well fed they won’t be interested in eating each other. They won’t go very far from the spot you feed them either, but you can move their feeding location and they’ll follow.

You can do anything you want. Feed them or don’t. Use the food to lead them someplace. Do anything you want in the land and sea area you’ve been given. You are provided with a 60 trillion dollar dinosaur liability insurance policy. According to a Supreme Court ruling there are no crimes that can be committed with a dinosaur.

What dinosaurs do you get? Remember you can only have 5 dinosaurs.

What do you do next?

Well, since:

  1. Godzilla’s art director Akira Watanabe combined attributes of a Tyrannosaurus, an Iguanodon, a Stegosaurus and an alligator to form a sort of blended chimera, inspired by illustrations gleaned from an issue of Time Magazine, in its creation, it counts as a dinosaur.

  2. I’ll take five, have 'em head underwater right up to Pyongyang, and pop out just before dawn. Kim Jong-un will have a hangover from partying, so he’ll be disoriented. Then right up the streets to his capital and it’s atomic breath time! Even if they figure out it’s Godzillas, they’ll blame the Japanese, right?

  3. Just to be safe, while they’re in the back in Madame Pepperwinkle’s wading pond, I’ll take enough notes to start working on Mechagodzillas.

T-Rex
Trike
Stego
Apatosaurus
Pteradactyl

You know… the rocks stars of the dino age.

Pachycephalosaurus

Ankylosaur

some sauropod - apatosaurus, diplodocus, brachiosaurus - whichever’s on sale.

Edmontosaurus, or some other ‘duck-bill’ - again, what’s cheap?

Triceratops.

You guys with five species are crazy.

I’ll take two male and three female triceratops. They’re everyone’s favourite. Five is a pretty small number for foundation stock, especially with (I assume) a slow to mature species, so if anyone wants to arrange a breeding loan or trade, let me know! I figure I can get three generations with only one back cross required, and sell all my “pet quality” with a neuter contract…

This could work!

According to comedian Dan Telfer, there is only one “Best Dinosaur.” He gives plenty of reasons why other candidates are completely unqualified for the title.

Are we to assume that other people have dinosaurs also, or are these 5 the only ones?

**Prof. P., **It’s not clear that Godzilla is a dinosaur, but he’s really cool, so I’ll allow it.

tdn, pteradactyls aren’t technically dinosaurs in all definitions, but they are rock stars, so I’ll allow it.

Furious_Marmot, I am not aware that anyone else has any dinosaurs.

I will take 2 male and 3 female plesiosaurs or their fresh water equivalents, please. I will breed them and then I will secretly bring a few to Loch Ness!

A breeding pair of Anklyosaurus because they’re my favorite.

A breeding pair of Brontosaurus. No such thing? Well, when I have the only two living specimens, I’m going to call them whatever in the hell I want and all their licensed merchandise is saying “Brontosaurus” on it.

A Tyrannosaur just 'cause I only have one left so I might as well pick something popular. You know, for picture postcards.

We can mix your trikies with my trikies, to avoid genetic bottleneck-type problems.

Excellent, perhaps we could start some kind of trike breeding co-op. Are we selecting for temperament, size, colour…?

This was my exact list.

We’re selecting for trikes that can shoot laser beams out of their horns.

I want a herd of Styracosauri. They are ridiculously cool-looking.

Almost as cool as Chasmosaurus. If Triceratops wasn’t so damned popular, I’d be looking for partners in my Chasmosaurus breeding racket. Trikes just have star power, name recognition - call it what you will. Any four year old will recognise a trike, it takes a real dino nerd to flip for Chasmos.

But Johnny’s mom lets him have sevennnnnnn…

Give me any five random ones from the late Cretaceous. I like surprises.

Pretty much this, but Ankylosaurs since they are **MY **favorite and that’s all that matters.

I would spend the rest of my days bussing underprivileged kids to my Ankylosaurus reserve for camping trips and dinosaur rides and gleefully rejecting ludicrous buyout offers from various rich folks who want a unique new toy.

4 female and 1 male velociraptors.

Yeah I’m hardcore

I’m going to have to suggest broader categories to cover my 5, due to the overwhelming volume of coolness…

Pointysauruses: Triceratops, Styracasaurus, Diabloceratops, Titanoceratops
Rockemsockemasauruses: Ankylo, Pinaco, and the next SoCal fad pet…Minmi
Blinkandyouredeadosauruses: Utahraptor, Deinonychus, and a whole nest of Microraptors hiding in your sheetrock.
Swoopasauruses: What old man in the park wouldn’t love to throw some bread to Quetzalcoatlus?
Handmetheyellowpagesasauruses: The giant bugs, yeah, not technically sauruses, but they’re big, hungry, and would even make an Australian nervous. 3-foot dragonflies trapped in the webs of tunneling spiders even larger? Oh yeah!