I was touristing there recently. At least in large cities the entire populace speaks English about as well as I (and presumably you) do. Not just folks catering to the tourist trade, but nearly everyone.
I live in South Florida sandwiched between the Everglades teeming with crocodiles and Burmese pythons and the Atlantic Ocean teeming with sharks and hurricanes.
Your lot don’t scare me a bit.
Southern Florida …hmmm isn’t that slated to be underwater shortly 
Eventually. But I’m of retirement age and won’t live to see it. Probably.
Actually, this mostly due to banking laws in the US. There is a reporting issue for US citizens that is a pain for foreign banks (and also for US citizens living abroad), which is why they do not want to handle US citizen’s, international banks in Europe of course are fine.
Back to the question, Japan would be my choice in an instant. I lived there for a number of years and have friends and family there, so despite the earthquakes and typhoon dangers that is where I would head. Belgium is, from what my sibling tells me, quite nice, so that might be an alternative as well.
//i\\
But, again, this thread is a just for fun thread. Where and why, not how or even if you actually want to or ever would.
As part of the common travel area, yes, but it doesn’t appear that that exempts UK citizens from having to apply for one or another permanent residence status in the Republic, let alone moving on elsewhere within the EU, other than as a time-limited visitor.
100% true for somewhere like France, 100% not true for somewhere like The Netherlands – I have a friend who has lived and worked in Amsterdam for 20 years and can’t speak Dutch. Not saying he’s right, of course, but it’s certainly not necessary - Amsterdam is a particularly international city. As always, we should never talk of Europe as a block.
Amsterdam is not the Netherlands. I’ve been in A&E in a smaller Dutch city, and I would not have been able to navigate it in English alone.
To answer the OP - Canada (I have family there), then NZ/Aus, then UK or Ireland, then maybe Belize or English-speaking Caribbean.
I’m bad with languages.
Belize is on my list, too. The Caribbean Islands aren’t. I can’t imagine living on a Caribbean island.
There are a few scenarios. If I have to liquidate and relocate and live off current savings, I’d go to Mexico. But if I am just moving, working in my field, maintaining my lifestyle, Northern Europe.
FWIW, I spent a month in Belize. Many towns on the mainland can be rather … gritty … which appeals to me, but not to everybody.
And the better-known expat places (eg, Ambergris Caye) are Caribbean Islands.
Me? I have a soft spot in my heart for Guatemala. A place like Antigua would probably be high on my list.
My wife is a Canadian citizen so the obvious answer, at least initially, would be Canada. We have lots of family and friends there.
I (English/chiShona speaking) have been in South Africa for 25 years, and while my Afrikaans is not amazing because I move in English speaking groups… I am literate and can read and speak Afrikaans, badly. But I get by.
How could this friend fail to pick up basic Dutch in all this time?
I recognise I am good with languages (I am not a linguist, and my main ability is computer languages) but wow.
I’d go to Canada. Why? Because my wife is a citizen, and our daughter is trans. In fact, we’re already in the process of getting everything ready to go, just in case.
I suck at languages. But Dutch is somewhat similar to English, and i believe that after 20 years living in the Netherlands i would pick up some basic Dutch. I expect I’d have a terrible accent, and “read” as a foreigner, and probably not catch a lot of nuances if there were complex discussions going on around me. But i also think I’d be able to read train signs, buy my groceries, and engage in routine pleasantries in understandable Dutch.
I’m not in imminent danger of being a pariah in my own country (Australia) but were the political climate change here as it has done in the US, I’d be VERY tempted to head to SE Asia to see out my days. Indonesia is the closest if something happened to my family and I needed to return quickly, but my preference would be either Thailand or Vietnam.
My language skills are crap too, but in the major cites in both Thailand and Vietnam, enough English is spoken so that it shouldn’t be too difficult to get by. And of course it would encourage me to get my arse into gear and LEARN the local languages.
It’s something I’ve contemplated even without worrying about whatever people seem to think about the current political situation. The terms in the OP – assuming I have some mechanism to be let in – significantly broadens the choices I have available in this hypothetical.
My traditional answer is Mexico, because I’ve lived there and it mostly doesn’t suck if you’re not in narco territory. I love the people, food, attitudes, traditions, beaches, culture, and most everything about the country and its people. Obviously this isn’t a political decision, because Mexico’s government is inarguably worse than anything that can possibly happen in the United States.
But given the lessing of contraints by the OP, then the next obvious answer is Canada, particularly Ontario, because the culture is nearly indistinguishable from the Michigan culture. I said nearly; don’t get pedantic. I’d miss a bunch of our freedoms, but not really, because it would be pretty easy to come back to Michigan to enjoy them. Oh, yeah, proximity to Michigan is a big plus here.
France comes to mind, particularly smaller cities such as Tours or similar, or even smaller. Culturally we Americans are stupid and make too much superficial fun of the French, because they’re really our brothers in spirit, culture, and attitudes. Yeah, yeah, Paris has a bunch of folks with bad attitudes, but so does our own New York City, but it also has a lot of great, patient, wonderful folks. But also I wouldn’t want to be in Paris anyway, and the rest of the country is not Paris.
Funnily, I used to live in Germany, and I love the Germans, and my step-mother is German, but I think I’d not choose to live in Germany given the other options. The abovementioned French are much more culturally compatible with us. No, I’m not being ironic.
New Zealand. Oh God, I love nature, and the pure variety that’s within a reasonable distance is unique in the world. Maybe not unique in the world, but unique in my experience. Driving from the east coast to the west coast is almost a mirror image of the same trip in the USA, but in a day’s time instead of a week’s. English language, pioneer spirit, and culture are all great. I’d miss some of the freedoms, and it’s almost an antipode of home, so the distance would suck unless I were totally and completely all-in, though.
South Africa was on my list for a while. It’s been a long time since I’ve been there and so I’m not sure how the race/political situation affects things today. Nature is a big draw, but I really loved the mix of cultures – Afrikaners, English, and 10 different types of blacks – made things a really cool mixing pot, and it was incredibly easy to be friends with any of them. In parts I spent most of my time, though, crime – in particular violent crime due to continuing racial inequality – was a major security issue. I’d have to spend a lot of time here again before making a decision.
I lived five years in China and my wife is Chinese and my two children are half Chinese. Nope. Don’t want to settle there. It’s the very epitome of fascism. I’d be happy to take another international assignment there, but no way in hell would I ever consider it as a future, permanent home.
What freedoms would you lack in NZ?
I don’t think the OP said three different countries, just three different places, and the culture in Tasmania is a bit different from that of the mainland.