You don't know me do you?

I was in a store the other day and a woman walked up to me and said, “Hi Mike.” I looked at her and only saw a faint resemblence to someone I had met in the past. “Hi.” I replied. Then the woman looked me up and down with a stupid knowing grin and a gleam in her eye and said in an almost accusatory tone of voice, “You don’t know who I am do you?”

Well how was I suppose to answer that? If I said no then it makes me look senile and stupid, if I answer yes then I am obviously bluffing. It was clear by now that she knew who I was and was playing a little “I remember you but you don’t remember me” game. It has happened to me many times before and it just pisses me off to the inth degree.

If this has happened to you then you know how awkward it is for someone to play this stupid fucking game. Your standing there going…emmm ohhh well I guess I don’t know who you are. ( Aren’t I stupid) While the other person delights in the fact that your memory just ain’t for shit
Why in the hell can’t people that you haven’t seen since the 3rd grade just walk up and say, "Hi my name is _____ and we were in the 3rd grade together. You probably don’t remember me but for some reason I remember you. How have you been doing? Nice to see you!

Is that so fucking hard?

When they took my Rat Bastard module out to reconfigure my Sense of Humor, installing Intel’s 450mhz Truly Warped chip, they damaged my hard drive’s memory, so this happens to me all the time.

What I do is say, “No, I’m sorry but I don’t remember you.” And I smile nicely. And the other person says, “I’m your daughter’s preschool teacher.” And then my Warped Sense of Humor chip kicks in, and I laugh maniacally. And the other person goes away, very very quickly.

This happened to me once at a night club. This guy starts calling me by my old nickname that everyone used to use, but mostly only family now. I looked at him, no idea who he was. He says, “Hi, ----!” So I said hi back and he does the old, “you don’t know who I am, do you?!” So, I just smile brightly and say, “Nope!”

Turns out he was my cousin! Cringe.

Before you think I’m too lame, let me explain. My grandmother had 6 kids. My mother had 6 kids. There was lots of breeding going on beyond that. I lived in another state and saw almost none of my aunts and uncles until about 13 years after moving and then moving back. From about 6-18. So, I had seen this guy maybe 1-2 times since then, in huge family gatherings and that was about it. Oh, well. I gave him a quick hug and apologized and that was pretty much it.

But I agree that people you don’t see for a flipping decade should not automatically expect you to know who they are. So, who was this person? Was it someone you were in 3rd grade with?

Years ago, I had a guy come up to me and start talking. I responded something like “Hey, how’re ya doin’?” and let him lead the conversation. We talked about this and that for about 20 minutes…and I never did figure out who he was, or where he knew me from. Fortunately, I never saw him again.

If you have a clear conscience: “Yes I do, but I’m bluffing.”

If you don’t have a clear conscience: “My attorney advised me to never answer that question without his presence. Can I get back to you?”


[ul]“No.” (Continue about your business).

“Should I?” (Look her up and down.)

“Aunt Meg!” (Hug her – this works best if you use the wrong name.)

“That depends – you don’t have any children that look like me, do you?”

“Are you my mother?”

“I remember the name, but the face escapes me.”

“Sorry, but since the accident, I don’t remember a lot of people.”[/ul]

I have little patience with the smug and/or rude, but it gives me an outlet for otherwise inappropriate behavior.


It’s an embarrassment. It’s also a complete piss-off.

I went to Catholic school and in Grade 8 our teacher was a very young Jesuit named Brother Patrick, who was much admired by both the faculty and students. A few years back I got a letter asking me to attend a retirement dinner for him. It was really great to meet so many of my classmates from so long ago. I remembered everyone. Except for one guy.

I was the class clown (surprise, surprise) and there was a lot of reminiscing about my escapades. This guy remembered all kinds of things that I did and said, and yet I couldn’t remember a thing about him. Zero. It’s like he never existed.

It marred the entire evening for me because I kept trying to remember and couldn’t.

I * still* can’t remember him. It’s maddening.

I went to one of my high school class reunions, the 5-year, but I have yet to attend any others. I had trouble remembering who some of those people were after only 5 years.

Got the big Three-Oh coming up. Am I going? Not a chance.

At my 20 year high school reunion, this guy drags his wife up to meet me, because he “had the hugest crush on you all through high school, but never had the guts to ask you out.”

I did not have a CLUE who he was, and I kept trying to get a glimpse of his wife’s nametag, which her long hair was covering. I felt so stupid, as well as rude. After all, if the guy had that big of a crush on me, the least I could have done is remember him 20 years later, right?

Turns out I went to grade school, junior high and high school with this guy, and he lived around the corner from me. (Chagrin) To my discredit, I don’t even REMEMBER him being in high school with me, so I guess that is why it is a good thing he never got up the nerve to ask me out.

Fortunately, his wife’s hair finally moved enough so I could see her name tag and figure out who he was before I had to admit I had NO IDEA who he was.

I just hate to hurt people’s feelings. OTOH, at your 20 year reunion, weren’t you amazed at how hard it was to identify the guys who had lost alot of hair? Whoda thunk that getting bald would make identification so hard?

Not, I hasten to add, that I think bald is unattractive. Au Contraire, but it does make you look different.


I get stuff like this all the time: “Hi! Remember me? You cut my son’s hair 6 months ago!” “Remember me? You cut my hair once. The name is Chad.” Yep. I’ve been cutting hair for 6 years and you’re the ONLY Chad I’ve ever done!

Luckily, they don’t get mad if I say I don’t remember. They understand that I do so many heads of hair that I can’t keep track if they aren’t regulars.

Hey would you cut mine?

Oh my GODS! Didn’t I fuck you during Carl’s orgy? Weren’t you the one that showed me how sexy a snake up my ass could be???

Oh, I guess that wasn’t you…

So, where do you know me from?

Trust me. Hit them with something like that and the games stop every time.

The absolute horror in their eyes is a benefit!

When I meet someone from the past I simply get flustered.
I have to ask their name, but don’t remember to give mine.
And I don’t even go by my schooldays name anymore, so it just further confuses them.

Always turns out Okay, once we get past the awkward part.:slight_smile:
(Unless they married rich, which just makes me feel bad.:()

::explosively projecting drink through nostrils::
Jesus, Byz, warn somebody before posting anything that funny! I probably will never muster the cojones to actually use that one, but I can guarantee that it’ll go through my mind the next time someone pops the “Don’t you recognize me?” b.s.

Today (Sunday) the comic strip For Better or Worse had an amusing take on that…a guy hit on the teenage girl in the strip, turns out he was her PE teacher in junior high…

Last weekend at about 2 in the morning, I was standing in a parking lot playing some lame-o game on my friends cell phone. Just then this car pulls up and the passenger says something along the lines of, “Hey Megan, whacha doin’?” I, not recognizing this person simply replied, “Playing a game.”

I assumed that whoever this person was had overheard one of my friends say my name, and was just pissing with me. Then he said my full name. First and last.

At this point I move really close to the window and say (in the Helloooo Seinfeld sort of voice), “I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. WHO ARE YOU???”

I am such a dork.

i usually tell people that after the actsident, i don’t remember a lot of people, but for me it’s really true. about three years ago i was playing touch football and ran full speed into a steel light post. 40 stiches, a chiped tooth, and about two or three days of amneshea. and what’s scarry is that not only can i not remember thoes two or 3 days but other things as well. but it makes a great excuse when someone i don’t remember comes up to me. hay the truth is maybe i would have remembered them if i haden’t had the actsident, but they just got knocked out, sort to speek.

So this woman I don’t recognize walks up to me, clearly recognizing me, and says “Hi! I haven’t seen you in a long time! How are you?” (I’m paraphrasing here, 'cause this was a long time ago).

I, not wanting to betray my ignorance, say “Wow! I’ve been doing great! What have YOU been up to?” thinking if I can just find out more about her maybe it will click…

So we start to talk, like old friends. But as the minutes tick by the ol’ bulb ain’t lighting up. After a while she starts asking more questions, and so do I, and after what must be 40 minutes we each realize we have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA who the other person is, and we are complete strangers.

An awkward silence ensues. Both of us, embarrassed, go on our seperate ways.

Later, I laugh about this.

Much later, I kick myself (she WAS kinda cute)…

A true story.

This thread is taking a distinctly non-Pitish tone.

A few years ago, I was walking on the campus of my university, when I girl I swear I had never seen in my life walked up to me, and says, “Excuse me, aren’t you Kyla?” Confused, I said, “Yeah.” And she informed me that we had gone to junior high together for a couple days. I was totally bowled over. I really do not think I am all that memorable. I recently started working at what’s basically the only bookstore in my town, and this now happens to me every single day. Most remarkable to date: my sister’s nursery school teacher recognized me. The last time I could have possibly seen this woman was about twelve years ago, when I was ten years old, and I can’t imagine that I saw her more than a couple times even then. And my sister and I do not look very much alike at all. I was completely weirded out by the whole thing.

I usually just answer, “Yes, but the memories are far too painful and my brain blocks it out as a defense mechanism.”

aha sez:

Okay shithead. You got me. Who the hell was she?