Daniel,
That response is great. I can’t wait to use it but, alas, I don’t know when the right opportunity to will arise.
Scu bucket? What’s that? 
You can also wish upon them, all their progeny, and all their ancestors living and dead, great festering genital sores which will be with them until the light of the sun ceases to reach the earth. Voodoo dolls will greatly enhance the curse.
More handy dandy driving tips (well, pet peeves, really):
*Use the goddamn turn signal properly. This gets my goat more than anything else. Fuckers turning on their turn signal half-way into a lane change or a split second before (gee, thanks buddy for the warning). People not even bothering to signal at all. People signaling the wrong way into a lane change (how the hell do you get this wrong?) I say give the cars behind you at least a couple of seconds of warning before you change lanes or turns. The more predictable you make your driving to me, the better.
*Change lanes smoothly. Violent lane changes piss me off. People who throw their cars into the next lane as if they’re on a slalom course. Damn them all. Violent lane changes give you no room for error. If there’s a car (or motorcycle) sitting in your blind spot you’ve missed, you’ve already hit him. With a gradual change, there is time for someone to at least honk you out of the way or evade.
*On the freeway, get the fuck out of the left lane unless you’re passing. I don’t care if you’re doing the speed limit, or 10 above. You’re not the police. Don’t clog up traffic by sitting with your cruise control set to 65 in the left.
*Use your mirrors. Know where cars are at all times. My instructor would cover up the rearview mirror occassionally and quiz us on what color the car behind us is. Continually glancing at your mirrors gives you a better idea of your spacial relationship to other cars, so that if you do need to perform emergency evasive maneuvers, you know where to go.
This would be so, so wonderful if they didn’t put fucking STOP SIGNS at the end of the god damn on-ramps so that two feet before you’re actually ON THE FREEWAY, you have to come to a complete stop.
Does that make sense? Fuck no, it’d be easier to merge if I could’ve gotten up to speed on the ramp rather than starting out a 0 mph six inches from the right hand lane with 20 feet of on-ramp left.
catsix, I hate those, but I usually only see them where there is no merge lane. Watch out for those, DarkSide, there are several in Queens around me (mostly around the Interboro/Van Wyck/Grand Central exchange).
Can I wish that the fleas of a thousand camels would take up residence in their underwear drawers?
It annoys me when people double-park on our street and I have to go around them. I’d be beyond annoyed at someone who not only did something this boneheaded, but had the nerve to yell at me for it.
This thought occurred to me a few months back, and I tried it. I’ve not driven aggressively since.
I am now convinced that the more asshole drivers you see on the road, the worse a driver you are. (I still see assholes, but not nearly as many as there were just a few months ago…)
I second, third and fourth this. Using your turn signal at an intersection warns pedestrians not to step out in front of you. Using your turn signal when switching lanes on the freeway makes for a much safer and easier lane-change, as the drivers in the other lane will generally make room to accomodate you when they know your intentions. I’ve driven with people before who had to merge right to get to their off-ramp and got all stressed out and upset because the lane was crowded and there wasn’t enough room for them to merge; if they’d just turned their turn signal on and waited a few seconds, the cars in the other lane would’ve realized they needed to merge and made room.
But…but…but…every other car that would travel on my roads is driven by an asshole (regardless of how they’re driving). By the same token, every other passenger that travels on myplane / subway car / bus / etc. is an asshole (regardless of how they are acting). Actually, nearly every person who invades my personal space (defined as the planet earth) is an asshole.
I don’t see how that has a bearing on my driving.
ironicles of narnia
The issue here is that if you give advance warning in a city, people then decide to speed up to cut you off from changing lanes. Because god forbid you actually change lanes into a spot ahead of them.
I actually do not find this to be true in Chicago. Most people will gladly give up the spot in front of them if you’re at least polite enough to signal. I will do the same.
Other people’s bad (and illegal) driving habits are not in your control. YOUR driving habits, however, are.
Now what is it about your post that makes your location seem so appropriate?
Heh, I’m amazed at how many car accidents there aren’t. When I think about it, people actually do a pretty damn good job with this whole driving thing. The asshats are definitely in the minority most the time.
To the OP: this is the sort of situation you thank goodness happend w/ the driving instructor. It’s called a learning experience because you’re supposed to learn to look out for things like that and anticipate them. So be happy for the lesson that costed you zilch; some people aren’t so lucky.
And it’s pretty stupid to jump out into traffic without looking. You’re right about that.
This is because in this city people scream up the inside, in a turning lane, and then try to squeeze into the space in front. Fuck them. You knew it was a turning lane, yet you deliberately pulled out into a lane you weren’t supposed to, overtook on the inside, in order to get two cars ahead.