My friends and I do so, without hesitation. Why? Because we are all aware that it doesn’t matter to us. It’s not using up the book. Were we to spill on it or tear it, then we’d buy another, of course.
If you don’t like it don’t do it. But please don’t go projecting onto others. My friends simply would not care in the slightest. In fact, they’d find it foolish and a ridiculous expense to buy another copy so I can read it too. We’re just not that into consumerism and ownership I expect.
For us, circulating books so they are read by many, is a good thing and to be applauded. And far outstrips, the need for newness. Different strokes for different folks is the thing, I think.
What about this: if you bought your boyfriend a new ladder, per his request, for a gift. And now the cat’s/kid’s stuck up a tree. Would you use the ladder? Would/should he be offended you used it? Should you not use it?
I’m totally into circulating a book so it gets read - that’s what a book is for. And I wouldn’t hesitate to buy a used book as a gift. More books for the same budget = better.
To me, it’s just a very simple and basic courtesy - you don’t use someone else’s gift first - regardless of what it is.
Other people choices, and the reasons for them, are not a judgement or condemnation of yours.
I gave my reasons as requested by the OP, nothing more.
One could easily posit that those pronouncing ‘it’s rude’ to read a book before gifting it, would seem to be the judgy ones.
Why would anyone get so invested in other people’s interactions as long as they are happy with them? How does it affect you, what me and my friends think or practice?
No, I offered my view. I am not responsible if you see every choice/view that differs from yours as somehow being an accusation, or a condemnation of your choices. Mine was neither, go back and read it again, I spoke only to what we practise and why. We feel better the MORE a book gets read, and WE would feel overly consumerist to buy two copies when not necessary.
I am not challenging your view in any way simply stating mine, and what the reasoning behind it is. No more.
Tells us about what you do and why - and is fair, reasonable, works for you and is something I can understand and support. Even though I don’t agree with it.
This sentence
makes the rather implicit accusation that anyone that doesn’t agree with you is into consumerism and “ownership” (whatever that might be). Which I rather reject when it’s applied to me.
When I buy a gift for someone, they are the ones that get to use it first - that’s the whole point of a gift. If I use it, then give it to someone else, it’s no longer a gift - it’s something else (I’m not exactly sure how to define it).
Family are more than welcome to come by my place anytime and take any book that I’ve already read, without the need to return it. If I haven’t read it yet - they’re still more than welcome to borrow it.
Again, “I suspect we…” Is neither an accusation, nor a condemnation of your choices. My friends ARE tree hugging anti consumerists. Also not an accusation or condemnation of your choices. Doesn’t imply you are, to posit that these views reflect in their actions.
As Hilarity N. Suze pointed out, “new” books have often been taken home and read by employees. They’ve also been read by customers in the store. If that doesn’t ruin the new book experience, why shouldn’t I read it before gifting it?
For me, you don’t use someone’s gift before giving it to them. Period. It does not matter whether it’s purchased “new” or “used”. When I buy someone a gift, it is done for the purpose of giving them pleasure - not for the purpose of deriving what pleasure I can out of it first.
I never knew this was an issue. Books are different from DVDs or sweaters or most gifts, since you can use them without harming them. There have been several times I’ve bought someone a book and read it before giving it to them. I wouldn’t mind receiving a book that the giver had read first either, I would hope that means that they can give it a high recommendation. I think its okay as long as you do the following:
[ul]
[li]Don’t harm the book- no stains, no bent corners or spine, or any other damage.[/li][li]Don’t give away any spoilers.[/li][li]Don’t buy the person a book just because you want to read it first. If I need to buy my dad a present, and I see a science fiction book I want to read, I wouldn’t buy that for him so I can read it first, because he would not be interested in that. But if I see a thriller or history book that I think he’d be interested in, I might buy that, and then also read it if I have a chance.[/li][/ul]
Also, I’m somewhat OK with used books as presents, especially because you could give maybe two or more used books for the same price as one new book. But you have to be a lot surer that the books would be something the recipient would love. A used book that’s exactly the right subject that the recipient is dying to read is a good gift; a used book that’s something vaguely that the recipient might like, but it might end up being left on the shelf for a few months isn’t as good. The former looks like you carefully scoured the bookshelves until you found the perfect gift, the latter looks like you had to grab something in five minutes in the book store. So I wouldn’t give someone a used book unless I knew their tastes really well.
This seems weird to me. I’ve never noticed anything terribly special about a brand new book. Reading a newspaper second is different, since the pages might be folded up weird, and the sections will be in a different order. But the same isn’t true for a book unless the first person was really doing something weird with the book.
Also I’m guessing that if you order a book from Amazon it’s not been read, but that most books at a bookstore have at least been opened and skimmed through. With some books people might’ve just opened them and read through a few pages, but with some books people will have sat down in one of the chairs or at the cafe and read through chapters or the whole book. I didn’t realize that employees also take them home like Hilarity N. Suze said, but that makes sense. Anyway, I never thought that any book I had received as a gift was never cracked open by anyone else, and so I wouldn’t be insulted if the giver of the book to me had also read it.
Then why bother buying gifts for friends at all? Why not go through the stuff in your house, find something you don’t use anymore that they could use, and wrap it up for them?
They’re saying you’re welcome to download your purchases on multiple devices. I’m pretty sure they don’t want you sharing that with other people with out them getting their cut.
