You have $50 billion; what spiteful thing would you do?

Bill Gates or Warren Buffett or some other rich guy gives you fifty billion dollars. So you do the usual stuff like buy a new house, cars, hookers, cocaine, vacations. (What?)

But $50 billion is a LOT of money. Seriously, you could buy one hell of a mansion, a fleet of cars, hire a lot of hookers and take them on vacations and you’d be left with $49.9 billion. You need things to do with your money. So you start giving money to deserving charities, but even that - you just can’t give it away that fast, not ina way that it’ll not be wasted.

So do something MEAN. If you had to do something really mean spirited and spiteful, well, now’s your chance. You’ve got the money. What would it be?


  • You cannot kill or seriously physically harm anyone. You can financially ruin people, though.
  • While your wealth will protect you from getting arrested for really minor stuff, you can’t buy your way out of a felony and you won’t successfully cover it up, either.
  • No making up science fiction scenarios. I’m taking stuff you really could do; I’m just taking away the financial problems.

I’d target whichever politician annoys me most at the moment (which would fluctuate from time to time, or course), first dredging up as much petty personal crap as possible and then broadcasting it under the aegis of my SuperPAC or whatever.

Admittedly, the benefit to the public in entertainment value might balance out the spitefulness to the target.

For 50 billion you could fund a big ass team of professional “annoying” neighors. Those assholes in your past? They would never have decent neighbors again. Hell, even a team of annoying “random” people in public for that matter.

Well I could probably afford to spend hundreds of millions of dollars trying to wins friends and influence people. My campaign contributions to select governmental officials would ensure

  1. unions rights were stripped in state after state
  2. taxes for the rich remained at the lowest point in history
  3. changes in voting laws disenfranchised millions of potential voters voting against what I’m in favor of.

While doing this, I’d establish several front organizations with pithy names like USA for Abundance where I could funnel hundreds of millions more untraceable funds in an effort to convince the public that my creation was a grassroots movement designed to empower them rather than vote against their own self interests.

I’d buy all the tickets to the Super Bowl, and all the broadcast rights. Then I’d take myself and friends/family to the stadium for our own private viewing of the game as it happens. The world will have to wait until after the game to learn what happened.


Look out Fox News. Here comes CNN, renamed “Chimera News Network”.


Beat me to it. Basically, the answer to the OP is the biography of the Koch brothers.

I’d buy the rights to every popular and/or iconic SF/Fantasy novel, play or whatever and hire Paul Verhoeven to direct the movie versions.

Then I’d buy the Yankees and move them to Newark.

I’d bribe enough politicians to have the driving age raised to 21 in as many states as possible. With NO grandfather clause. Talk about being an ass-hat to the teens. Yesterday, you could drive legally. Now, you have 4 more years before you can get behind the wheel. Then have the drinking age lowered to 16 but you can only buy booze with a valid, IN-STATE, drivers license

Buy Twentieth Century Fox and greenlight a sequel to Mariah Carey’s Glitter. Then bribe however many voters it would take to get my film the Oscar.
Buy Playboy and make Dr. Renee Richards the next centerfold.
Buy the Chicago Cubs and then give them to Steve Bartman.

I wonder if Donald Trump would sell me the Trump brand. Obviously he massively over-values it, but I would want exclusive use of it and he can never use it again.

Then buy out a porta-potty company and rename them Trumps. “Take a dump in a Trump” would be our new slogan. If I get exclusive use of his image as well, then it comes plastered on every door and on the bottom of the tank.

I would buy out a professional association football team like Barcelona. And then sell all the players to other clubs for about 1 cent each. And then sack all the staff. Turn the Camp Nou into a dog racing ground and Barcelona brand into a travel agency, specializing in tours of Spain for the Catalanphobic.

Start a large law firm who’s only function is to put as many lawyers, politicians, government contractors, and lobbiests in prison as possible.

Contribute massively to the “Sarah Palin for President” fund.


I would hire people who would do nothing but think up and plan a million different ways to make life personally uncomfortable for all those bullies who were in my high school that made life miserable for everyone they didn’t deem ‘cool’. I won’t drive them to suicide like they did a friend of mine, but they’ll know what it’s like when the shoe is on the other damned foot.

I would start up several businesses that are in direct competition with a certain bastard of a business owner in my former county of residence and then pour money into them to for the express purpose of driving him into the ground. I will hire everyone he ever fired for not doing things his way when all they were trying to do was help and give them the full benefits he never even tried to give them. When the bank finally forecloses, I will buy up everything, merge them with my own companies and turn them into real successes. Then thank him for showing me what not to do.

I would set my kids up in their own businesses doing whatever the hell they want and make sure they’re success so they can thumb their noses at everyone who ever bullied them.

I would his someone whose sole responsibility was to keep those damned Kardashians out of the media. I am so sick of all of them.

Three words: No More Kardashians. Don’t care how it happens, just make them go away.

Today’s ‘news’ headlines were the last straw.

This isn’t spite, it’s public service!

Work with some Nigerians to get a mailing list. Send $10,000,000 to each of the first 500 responders that give out their SSN and Credit Card numbers.

Publicize the results on all the major news networks. Do the same thing for the next 500 responders after the news breaks.

Enjoy watching the world burn.

Build a new library building at my place of employment, complete with swank offices and facilities for senior staff, then tear it down without letting anyone use it.

I would shower money upon the HS in my town, just to make the nearby towns jealous. I am sick of people putting down my town because of its low socioeconomic status, (i.e.) too many brown people.