Mine would be GlueandDogfood.
What would YOU name your prize thoroughbred?
Last year, my friend in the horse racing industry let us brainstorm a list of names for their newly purchased yearlings. Among our favorites:
Hydrogen Milkshake
Celebratorylobstr
Be My Yoko Ono
Colon Blow
Whythelongface
Bono
Bedside Manor (we later found out there was already a horse named that currently in racing)
Oddly enough, none of our names were used. Oh well.
A Horse Called Man?
Thelma’s Prize
Wingdango
Cecil’s Folly
Dub-a-rub-dub
Thisyearsitgirl
She-ra
Miagi Kick
Bodacious Ta-Ta’s managed to slip by the committee which approves all the names. Guess the committee members weren’t getting any.
The Race Horse Formerly Known As Prince
Oh, wait. I’ve got it. My horse would be called:
“Bingo gas station motel cheeseburger with a side of aircraft noise and you’ll be Gary, Indiana.”
“…up the backstretch, it’s Colonoscopy…”
I’m so sorry for this:
" No Name".
“She’s the Fastest.”
Sorry, the Homer in me sometimes gets the better of me.
Low Rider.
White Castle
Shoulda Boughta House
Horsie Go Vroom! (My personal favorite)
Let Me Win Or They’ll Turn Me Into Glue
That One (Which horse won? That One. Which one? No, That One. That Won? Yeah, That One. It could go on and on)
Selosra.
A horse with this name did run in the UK in the sixties or seventies until Weatherby’s (or The Jockey Club) got wise to it.
Sirlimpsalot
Or.
Outchasingbutterflies
Horse of Babylon
In response to, “How about a tip?”, I sometimes say, “Sure. Never bet on a horse named Tripod.”
…but I’d bet on him
Catherine’s Revenge
Funny thing is, there actually was recently a filly in racing named that.
Some of y’all’s names are too long. In horse racing, names are limited to 17 letters and spaces–so, for example, the mare Dont Stop The Music was actually Dontstop Themusic. I know that’s just a technicality for such a fun-loving thread, but I thought it would make the game a little more interesting.
Some real names I’ve seen on the track that crack me up:
Thisdudsforyou
Chingoso (Spanish for “Fucker.” Once the Jockey Club got clued in, the horse had to be renamed.)
Hoovergetthekeys
Talisluckybusride (named for a dog that fell off a bus and became a pet)
You (makes calling a race amusing–“In the lead, it’s YOU!”
And then, the one that made for the inevitable hilarious stretch call: I Don’t Know and Who’s Coming (I believe that’s the name of the 2nd horse–something like that). They actually linked up in a furious stretch duel, so you hear “These two are going to battle it out! Who’s Coming! I Don’t Know! Who’s Coming! I DON’T KNOW!!!” (I Don’t Know won the race.)
The belly of the belly of the beast.