You can write or produce or star or whatever you want. Scripted, reality, “reality,” news, sports… you now have the power and resources to make your mark on TV. No rules, no limits.
So, what do you do?
I would direct remakes of any of the shows with actors named in the miscasting thread. I think most people would be strangely compelled to watch - like a traffic accident. So Willy Wonka would be played by Danny Trejo, but it would be played totally straight, as if the directors and producers sincerely thought Mr. Trejo’s acting skills made him a good pick for the role. Everyone else in the production would be cast adequately, but the main character on the show each week would be comically miscast.
I think it’s time for a really good historical anthology series. “No rules, no limits” - on HBO, maybe, with no censorship and an unlimited budget? Some stories I’d definitely want to include: Cal Rodgers flies across America “crash by crash” in 1911; Violet Jessop, the woman who survived the sinking of the Titanic and two of its sister ships; Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, hero of Gettysburg, goes on to be elected Governor of Maine; the USS Kearsarge and the CSS Alabama meet in the last pre-arranged naval duel off the coast of France in 1864; a young George Washington helps touch off the French and Indian War.
That, or I’d bring back Firefly…
I’d launch an honest-to-goodness news program. No opinions, no editorials, no celeb crap, no warm-n-fuzzy stories. Just the facts, regardless of which “side” they may favor, delivered professionally. I’d even add some real, honest-to-goodness, fact-based debates.
Yeah, I know, I’m dreaming…
I’d make a dramedy of my whole life, starting from childhood till today. Each year boiled down into one episode. It might be extremely dull.
I’d call it ‘And They Wonder Why I drink’.
An anthology series of classic plays and musicals redone for the silver screen. NOT live performances, though.
Season 1
- A Streetcar Named Desire
- Pippin
- The Taming of the Shrew
- The Mikado
and so on…
Im not sure exactly what it will be but:
There will be wild animals
There will be a hot tub
The co-host will be a altitudenally challenged person
Lowish ratings will result in the cancellation (permanently) of one of the million executive producers, live.
Hilary and Trump Point Counterpoint at the end of each episode
Everybody is naked!!
My real life is pretty much a sit-com:
I’m from an extended family with relatives occasionally dropping in.
My SO comes from a very dysfunctional family and wants nothing to do with the majority of them.
Among our neighbors have been a pair of alcoholic heterosexual life partners who liked to drop in unannounced, a friendly single mother, a gay middle-aged man with no teeth, a young family of minorities who wanted nothing to do with us, and another family of minorities whose youngest sometimes takes care of our animals when we’re out of town.
My SO’s best friends are a transgender woman, who also likes to drop in unannounced, and a very large biracial woman.
I’d just recreate Scrapheap Challenge hosted by Adam Savage.
I’d tune in to watch that.
In college, my best friend was a guy who looked exactly like Will Smith. Every once in a while, he would look off into the distance. He said to ignore it, it was just him mugging for the camera.
IRL, I write books and stories for children. I’d make them into an anthology series. (Probably cartoons. I have relatives who are professional animators.)
I have a relative who was/is a porn clerk, standup comic, radio personality and actor.
The tales, the tales.
I’d do a sitcom based on all that. Current situation (and kids) with flashbacks to porn clerk days. Title: Porn Clerk.
A documentary about the making of a TV show. It would capture all of the activity of the previous week leading up to the airing of the episode that is being watched (edited down, of course).
A Miniseries.
Based on Andre Norton’s Solar Queen novels.
Or Heinlein’s The Rolling Stones.
I would make my urban fantasy novel series into a TV show (preferably for one of the streaming services). I’d maintain creative control (including major casting) but hire somebody else to write the scripts.
I’d do a GOOD Star Trek show…and immediately get called racist and sexist for daring to do so.
I would hire Joss Whedon to do something. Whatever the hell he wanted.
Smut. Nothing but smut. Embedded in dramatic stories, yes, but it’s really only smut. Without gerbils.
Videodrome
I call up Tina Fey and let her know she’s got a new project.