Gah, I should have known that voice was yoko ono. Whenever I hear that song and the chorus starts I ask “omg, who is that lady warbling? That has to be the most godawful voice I have ever heard.”
Yup, this is my vote too. I worked retail for a few years and this one was on the musak list. Got played at least once every day. I wanted to go in the office and rip the system right out of the wall… Why can’t they just have instrumentals?
Now I do all I can to avoid shopping between Black Friday and Christmas. It’s too bad I need groceries regularly. 
What? Then that means no Rudolph special, and we can’t have that.
You just described my Toys R Us experience to a tee.
Have you heard Earth Kitt?
Barbra Streisand has a rendition of “Jingle Bells” that’s obviously supposed to be whimsical, but is just plain…Barbra Streisand. The first time I heard it, I was grocery-shopping; I left my cart in the middle of the aisle and ran from the store.
It’s a horrible song that not even Ms. Kitt can make tolerable.
Barking dogs Jingle Bells
I had the misfortune this year of having this be the first Christmas song I was exposed to this holiday season.
I mean, maybe, if they actually took different samples of dogs barking and put them together, this might be tolerable. But it’s just an 80’s synth with a single bark sample, resampled at different frequencies by playing it at different speeds. It’s the 80s version of autotune.
Seconded. Dear god, that song makes my head hurt. Seriously. There’s something so wrong about the way the line “a wonderful Christmas time” is delivered. shudder
I just want people to stop making “Christmas Albums” altogether. I mean seriously, do you really think you’ve got a unique twist on the same dozen fuckin’ songs that 1000 other artists have done already?!
Christmas Shoes. All joking aside, Christmas Shoes.
I’m a huge believer in preserving all artistic endeavors - probably from that time the Nazis burned all those books - but you give me a button that eradicates that song forever and ever and I’m pushing it without hesitation.
But…but…but I love the Christmas Countdown
Oh, man, that was a hoot. Loved the wife’s expression after “totally insufficient dowry.” Thanks for posting the link.
Ditto for me. Meanwhile, I love almost everything else mentioned in this thread. (Never been too crazy about Lennon’s “Xmas” dirge, but I think McCartney’s song is delightful, especially for the wacky synthesizer sounds.)
Sleigh Ride. I hope those cuddly cozy morons with their rosy cheeks get lost in a blizzard.
Also that one with the chestnuts roasting on the open fire. I’d like to see the author of that painful dreck roast on an open fire.
Once in a very long while, someone does just that. 
But yeah, they can probably stop making them, now.
Ditto on the "Pah-rum-pah-pum-pum.
Obviously, you lucky bastards have never heard “The Cat Carol:”
http://www.tsrocks.com/m/meryn_cadell_texts/the_cat_carol.html
77 posts in, and nobody has mentioned “Walking In A Winter Wonderland”? Or “My Favorite Things”? Shocked, shocked I am.
Thing is, I love Christmas carols - you know, the ones that actually reference Christ or Christianity. But my whole career has been in retail, and so every freakin’ year I am bombarded by Christmas music for the whole month of December. Christmas music, that is - the non-religious kind.
The worst part is that, since there really aren’t that many songs, the Muzak loop plays them all - in different versions. So I get to hear three or four "Winter Wonderland"s and "Santa Baby"s and … oh, it’s just too painful to contemplate.
Seriously, all this Goddamned Christmas music really really kills my holiday spirit.
That’s one thing the Catholic Church gets right - they don’t start with the Christmas carols until December 25th.
I love Christmas music. I have many, many of the songs and particular artists’ versions mentioned in this thread and love them. In all my years, there is only one Christmas song that makes me stabby.
And that is Christmas Shoes.
I have only been able to listen to it in its entirety one time because it makes me so angry and disgusted. It’s so bad.
And for those of you who haven’t heard it, you’re lucky.
It should make you feel even weirder that you’ve been getting it wrong all these years – it’s “yon virgin”, as in “yonder”.
Oh, and my vote is for Feliz Navidad.
<Chandler Bing> Could a song be any more repetitive? <CB>