You hit him one more time and I gouge your eyes out and....

Calm down Phlosphr- calm down

Breath -[sup]sigh[/sup] - Breath

Whilst walking through an outlet store last night with Mrs.Phlosphr, I watched in wretched disgust, something that almost made me snap every rational nerve I had, and go completely berserk on a woman.

–scenerio-> I was walking around with Mrs.Phlosphr, in and out of several shops in the outlets…When we saw a woman walking with a developed mentally delayed teenager. Not sure what was the ailment, but he was certainly mongoloid with other physical impairments. He was having difficulty walking and keeping his Jacket on. The woman, a middle aged, crotchety, ragged looking woman was pulling him by his forearm, not allowing him to catch up to her pace, and not alowing him to get a good hold on his jacket to pull it up.

Then it happened, about 20 feet infront of my wife and I. The woman stopped, grabbed him by the hair and yanked him until he fell to his knees… Looking down at him she proceeded to yell, “Get the fuck up! Can’t you keep up with me! Good Christ put your fucking coat on.”

My wife immediately grabbed my arm, my eyes got as big as baseballs, my brow shortened, and the hair on the back of my neck stood completely on end.

I stormed over to the scene - very uncharacteristic of me - and pulled the lad up by his arm. The look on his face almost made me, a grown man ball my eyes out. His eyes saddened, and he began to give a muffled cry.

The woman had rage and fear in her eyes, looking up at me - I’m 6’ 1" and a lean 220. I looked back at her with a menacing look, and said, who do you think you are, hitting this boy?!! I was loud enough to turn the heads of maybe 25 other people on the common. The woman looked horrified.

In the back of my head I immediately thought I made a mistake. If the woman was his mother, she would have every right to do what she did. As hidious as it is…

Now I noticed an emblem on his shirt - recognising it as a local home for the developed mentally delayed - I asked her in a very loud angry voice if they were from that home. She said yes, in a submissive cowering nag. After saying a few more curt things to the woman, and after the boy got his coat on. I calmed down and turned to Mrs.Phlosphr. She - to my surprise - was on her cell phone calling the home where the boy and his “guardian” came from.

I plan on following up with them this morning, and giving them a detailed picture of what hapopened. I think the supervising nurse was not there when my wife called last night, so I will make sure to report this again today…

What the fuck has this world come to, where people who can not fend for themselves must endure such ludicrous behaviour from ignorant morans like that poor excuse for a woman?? I have not been that mad, since I don’t know how long… And I am generally a peacful man…

I personally do not have the patience and compassion needed to work with disabled folk. Fortunately, unlike the wretched creature you encountered, I chose a career elsewhere.

I am often amazed at the patience, love, tolerance, etc displayed by parents who have profoundly disabled kids. True heros.

I’m amazed that harpy was stupid enough to act like that in public. Really makes you fear what goes on behind the institution’s walls. If the home does not give you satisfaction, consider filing a complaint.

Well done.

No, you would still be justified in giving her a ration of shit. I’m glad you were there.

Grabbed him by the hair??? Jesus Christ, even if she HAD been his mother, and even if he were NOT developmentally disabled, she shouldn’t have been treating him that way.

As the sister of a developmentally disabled . . . well . . . sister, I am especially sensitive to such abuse. Just last week, on my birthday, my coworker (who had been in charge of picking up the cake for my little office celebration), showed up with a perfectly lovely black forest cake.

All was happy until she launched into this story about how she’d ordered a different cake, with my name on it, but the mentally retarded boy working in the bakery had dropped it. Thinking, I suppose, that I would somehow approve of this, she went on about how she’d yelled at him, and made him get the manager, at whom she yelled as well about allowing a developmentally disabled person to handle the cakes.

:mad: :mad: :mad:

I wanted to kick her right in her neck. Instead, I pretty much told her off (I mean, goddamn, it’s a cake, fer cryin’ out loud, it ain’t a Faberge egg) until she finally decided that maybe she should go back and apologize for calling the boy stupid.

I have no delusions that she did, mind you, and maybe her guilt wasn’t even genuine, but there’s no way that I could have let the incident go without telling her what I thought.

And you, Philosphr, did the right thing by giving that woman a piece of your mind. Keep us posted on what happens when you speak to the supervisor at the group facility.

Judging by your location, and some previous posts I think you are in Connecticut. I live in CT too, and did you know that the state is mandated to remove abused children in a group home setting? State workers obviously are not supposed to act like that. But I would not be surprised if the teen was removed, and the staff member severely punnished, and or dismissed. Good job.

What a horrible experience. Thank you for taking up for those that can’t do it for themselves. Please continue to follow up until someone in charge is aware of this woman’s inappropriate behavior. Good man.

There are those people who take that kind of job because they are good kind human beings who genuinly have a calling. There is another group, however, who take those jobs to have someone weaker they can get away with tormenting. When those are tollerated they push out the others. They go to homes with Alzhiemers patients and mental hospitals and have a helpless captive people to torture. As someone who had a severely retarted brother who would have been in no way able to protect himself. Thankyou.

Coda Can you clear something up for me please? Were you suggesting he shouldn’t have said anything? I do hope I am reading that wrong.

stands up and gives you a heart felt round of appluse

Thank goodness there is still people like you in this world!!

“The look on his face almost made me, a grown man ball my eyes out.”

—Zowie! Can I learn that look?

Phlosphr, thank you. {{{{{{Phlosphr}}}}}}

In my spare time I work with mentally/physically handicapped children (and have for twenty years now). We need all the help we can get in protecting these innocent souls.

Thank you.
Although I’m NOT religious, I do believe that stupid fucking bitches like you just described will have a special place in hell. :mad:

I would like to join in on the round of applause. Too many people feel it is none of their business to interfere when a child, or anyone else for that matter, is being abused. OK, maybe abused is too strong a word…mistreated.

Kids are a handful. And when they have a disability, mental or physical, I can only imagine that the patience and restraint involved must be saintly. My 3 yr old can get pretty bold sometimes, but I have the sense to walk away for a minute and calm myself down, or have someone else keep an eye on him for a minute (if family is around), until I can get my temper back in check. I have never hit my son, although he deserved a smack on the butt a couple of times. I don’t feel that hitting a kid is an effective way to discipline them. Jeez, they’re kids, they act up if only to see where the line is.

Keep up on this monster. Speak to the super, write a letter to the state board of whoever is in charge of them, and whoever else has any authority over them. She has no business there if she can’t control herself, much less her charges.

Nice one, Phlosphr. If more people took the time and effort to do this, it would soon no longer be necessary.

I just got back to a messege on my voicemail in my office. It was from the district nurse for the DMR - Department of Mental Retardation - she said she spoke ot my wife earlier today, and was very sorry for the behaviour of one of her CNA’s. CNA is a Certified Nurse’s Assistant.

I called her back and was informed that she was put on administrative leave without pay. Because the facility is a state run organization the proper roads must be traveled and the proper paper work must be filled out.

I gave a formal statement which she took down, and recorded in the patients record. I mentioned everything I put in the OP and am in the process of writing it down in a formal letter to be sent by my wife and I to the District Nurse.
Having some knowledge of how the system works, it is very possible this CNA will be transferred to a similar facility elsewhere in CT, or worse yet allowed back to work in the facility she is currently on leave from. My wife and I plan on taking this as far as we can, we are all about humanitarian causes, but this one seems a little more heinous and we are willing to step in as far as we can. I believe a letter should suffice, at least to keep this woman from the facility she is on leave from.
Unfortunately this will not keep her from joining a pool where she may be able to work per diem at any facility in CT. BTW getting a CNA does not take long, it is only a certification and is offered in some prisons to those who want to get out for good behaviour, or want to learn a trade.
I am considering writing a letter to the state to have the program stricken from the prison system, but with my schedule, and my wifes we are not prepared to take this on as a crusade.
I am still in shock about the look on the poor kids face, and the menacing indifference of the wretched woman taking care of him.

What happened last night is only a blink I am sure, of what could be happening elsewhere in the country. I am sick with the thought that this is happening in elder-care facilities, homes for the developed mentally delayed, and as stated above Alzheimers units…

Again I am not an aggressive man, and I happen to know a lot about human behaviour - i.e. my profession - and I can not explain with utmost certainty why I did what I did last night. And to be quite honest, the boards, and the PIT have given me a modest man, the ability to express something I would never have previously wanted to boast about. But the pure horror of the situation and the implications therein fuel my anger, and will make me follow through as far as I and my wife can. Thanks for all the support folks…

::more applause::


You are hero to me. Thanks for stepping forward and helping. Most people would have just walked away.


That woman really, really shouldn’t have that job - any actions you can take to ensure that she doesn’t work with anyone other than herself are well waranted.

When I worked in a facility for emotionally disturbed children in Oklahoma, the behavior you described would have resulted, at the very least, in the CNA being fired, or, more likely, being arrested. It is child abuse.

BTW, in my experience, “CNA” usually translates into “underpaid and undertrained.”

I disagree. If you went into every mental health care facility, every group home, every assisted living program, and got rid of all the incompetent or poorly trained workers with bad attitudes, all you’d be left with would be a bunch of places with half as many people working there, still not making any money. Institutional change is necessary to prevent these types of abuses from occurring in the future.

That said, though, way to go Philosphr. What I said above in no way diminishes the value of what you did yourself.

I probably should have been clearer. What i meant was that if enough people acted like Phlosphr, then institutional change might eventually follow. Too many institutions persist with poorly trained and underpaid workers because they can get away with it. If we as a society make it clear that the sort of treatment described in the OP is unacceptable (whether in public, or hidden behind institutional walls) then maybe things will change for the better.