You inept wannabe diy mf: Plumber's putty is NOT your friend

Dear Seller,
WTF? This is like an easter-egg hunt, but without the eggs. Or Easter.
Anyway, when I bought the house, I knew you were trying to hide stuff. Thought I found most of it. Erroneously so.
Re-wiring the diy job which turned this house into a death-trap was a bitch, but manageable.
Painting over the lovely shades of pink, salmon and forest green :rolleyes: merely an aestethic adjustment, though I will have a job convincing future buyers that the “stucco effect” walls were your attempt at creating a “cantina atmosphere”, rather than hiding cracks.
Anchoring the basement wall, which was bowing to the point of structural failure was something I expected, so that really doesn’t count.
You could’ve left the blinds, with the odd sizes of the windows here odds are slim that you can use them in your new house, but at least you replaced them with taped together plastic placemats :eek:
No, what pisses me off is the plumbing.
You rat bastard! I know you knew of the plumbing problems: in hind-sight, it is the reason for the de-humidifier you had going in the laundry room, as all the leaks on the main floor slowly drip through the laundry room ceiling. Apparently, judging from the state of the underside of the main-floor flooring, it has been doing so for years. (Thanks for the cunningly constructed dropped ceiling - hid it nicely!) What for the life of me I don’t get is why you didn’t fucking well just fix it! Or, seeing your handy work, please to God have it fixed! Instead, one by one I’ve discovered that we have:
Toilet - not seated on your typical wax bowl ring, but set loose on the flange, with some dabs of plumber’s putty here and there. No bolts, either.
Sink: missing washers and worn out thread on the watersupply connection to the faucet, “fixed” by applying putty on the inside of the nuts. Leaking like a sieve.
That same sink: drain assembly is loose pvc pipe held together with -Yeah!- putty.
Bathroom #2: The toilet ball cock valve is cracked on top, meaning that every flush, water sprays straight up, hitting the tank lid. Most will drip back into the tank-but not all. Some, ultimately, ends up in the laundry room below. This is an $7 / 15 minute repair. But not for you. For you, putty on the crack was the answer. Fuckwit. Oh, and the sink in that bathroom? apparently, the putty-instead-of-nuts-and-washers on the drain assembly is a theme of yours. I’ll be replacing the flooring beneath this one, though, because it must have been the sink you used most - it’s rotted through.
The basement bathroom is a work of art. Here we have a drainpipe which rotted through, covered in (of course) putty. In a bizarre twist on the theme, though, this mound of putty is covered in pvc glue, as some kind of waterproofing glaze.
I’m scared of the bath tubs. Really, scared enough to not at this point check them out.

Dear seller, I’m a grown man, 6’2" 238 lbs. I’ve played rugby. I deal with some of the most heinous and evil people on a daily basis. But you made me cry.

Didn’t you have a professional inspector?

That was my first thought as well. A good inspector would be all over the dropped ceilings, toilets and sinks. It’s pretty hard not to notice a leaky-as-hell sink if you turn it on.

Oh, this I have to see. Do you have pictures?

Don’t get mad - get even. Call an attorney. I believe you have a cause of action against a seller who fails to disclose known defects. Make him pay.

Add another vote to the “Make Him Pay” list. I also want to see those makeshift blinds. :eek:

Jammer

Yes, I had an inspection. He picked up on most things (and there were many).
The damage done buy the links was hard to find (untill I tracked down the little bit of moisture in the laundry room) - you would have had to remove just the right ceiling panel to see it, out of 50 or 60 of 'm. A determined seller can make a house pass inspection, with dropped ceilings, paneling etc.
The actual damage isn’t technically structural (except for a small portion), and I cannot now prove that his repairs weren’t functional.
I bought the house some 55-65k below what similar dwellings go for in that neighborhood (and none of them are in perfect shape either), I’ve put some 8k into repairs, remodelling and upgrades, as well as probably 3 weeks of my labor - so I’m ahead, and shouldn’t be that ticked off. But what gets me (besides the fact that he tried to stick it to me), is that with pretty much the same effort he could’ve done this right. That, and the sheer idiocy of the putty madness. This guy is like that dude in FL who built all that stuff out of coral. Except its putty, not coral - and zero artistic value.
None of the “blinds” survived the first week - they went the same way as the shower curtain window treatments, the rusted out medicine cabinets, the cast iron cantina style light fixtures (everywhere!), the plastic “chrystal” closet-door knobs, the “seen-too-much-love” seat left in the basement, the once-brass-now-green faucets, the glass fireplace doors with duct-tape repaired cracks, the outlet covers filled with the damned stucco shit that’s all over the walls, the bucket-instead-of-a-drainpipe under the laundry tub, the door bell that only played the second part of the Big-Ben chime - among many other things.
Damn, in hindsight I should’ve taken pictures, 'cause it’s funny now. At the time, I just wanted it gone.
But here’s what we had: white rectangular plasticky vinyl place mats, arranged in a larger rectangle (had they been of different colors, it would’ve evoked Mondriaan), taped together with clear tape, wound around a stick.
They did keep the light out, though.