There is a girl on my cross country team. She is popular, and she is a varsity runner. The varsity chicks think they are some special sheeeit, but they’re not.
The other day, our team was discussing getting butt-huggers to run in instead of the too-big shorts we have now. I said, “What about those of us whose thighs rub together when we run? I don’t want to chafe.” She replies with, “Don’t your thighs rub together anyway?” Listen, you illiterate fungus, not everyone has thin thighs. It’s called diversity within a species - look into it. Not everyone should conform to your standards of beauty. Which leads me to my next point…
This girl has two rather heavy teachers. One day in practice, her little brain was working itself to death over this: “Those guys are, like, so fat. Don’t you think that if, like, you were that fat, that you would go on a diet or something? I mean come on! No one should be that fat!” Hey, whore-mo, what if they are on diets but the results aren’t showing? What if they are happy with who they are? What if they don’t care what insignificant pongids full of MTV bullshit think?
Fuck what other people think. I had an interesting experience at school this evening. A girl made fun of my shorts. Wow! You think I give a fuck? There are waaay too many people out there who subscribe to the MTV look. People need to realize that clothes, weight, looks, etc, really don’t mean shit. It’s a shame us ugly folks can’t take over…
She was a fast machine, kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I ever seen. She had the sightless eyes, tellin’ me no lies. Knockin’ me out with those American Thighs.
No, no, no. The lyrics really are: “She was a fax machine, she kept her motor clean, she was the best damn woman I had ever seen. She had me circumsized, tellin’ me no lies, knockin’ me out with Amazonian thighs.” I swear that’s how it goes.
Anyway, who likes skinny thighs? Give me round, strong, firm, soccer player thighs anyday.
spooje, who has large, manly thighs, prefers tighter shorts when he runs, to prevent chaffing. He also prefers boxer/breif underwear, as well as reffering to himself in the 3rd person.
Definitely up there on the list of Best Subject Lines.
You have two options, FUB. You can:
a) Take this girl aside and explain to her that size differences are rarely voluntary, that variations in human morphology are natural and part of the great diversity of traits that make up the human race, and that while those people with larger thighs may wish to have thinner ones, it is not always an option and even where it is, it may be extremely difficult to achieve; or
Just a question, FUB (and BTW, that still makes me giggle every time I read it) – if your thighs rub together when you run, wouldn’t butt-hugger shorts (I assume you mean spandex) cut down on the chafing? I’d think there’d be less friction between two thighs clad in spandex instead of two thighs in baggy shorts. I may be wrong, it’s been known to happen.
Thighs in spandex… uh oh, it’s getting hot in here… I better go sit down.
You know, Boobs (hmmm, maybe not the best abbreviation of your nom de pixel) you deal with this crap in high school, and it happens because people are immature and unformed as yutes. Then you deal with this shallow crap in University, and it happens because some people are late bloomers, and haven’t figured out how to behave yet. Then you deal with this crap at work in your mid-twenties (and for the rest of your life), and it happens because some people are just miserable excuses for human beings and will never learn any better. On the plus side, the older you get, the less you give a rat’s hiney what some tricked-out, scrawny blonde thinks. We were walking home from Safeway a couple of days ago, and this high-maintenance broad give us the up-and-down once over, complete with sneer. Well, we just about busted a gut laughing at her. What a maroon!
Now, I am not a sports person since I am under the belief that women were not built for running. At least I wasn’t and I have thought that when I was a teen and wasn’t carring around extra weight on my ass but on my top half.
I don’t care what kind of bra you have, it just ain’t workin’ for me!
Anyway.
As for the tighter shorts it would all have to depend on the length. Longer and tighter would be better than short up the butt and tight.
And hon, just wait until you see this girl ten years from now after a few kids and then you can remind her of her oppinions and ask her if she is dieting.
Yeah, that’s right - we’re all going to get old, fat, and ugly, but at least you’ll still have your personality. This twitch will have - old, fat and ugly!
(No offense is intended to old people - just exaggeration for comic effect.)
Tell those biotches not to mess with the uniforms, & if they want a sport in which they can show of more of the bodies that they’re so proud of, they can join the swim team. Then everybody can see their butts, woo hoo.
(N.B. This is NOT intended to piss off swimmers. I was on the swim team in high school…for me, the butt exposure was part of the appeal. My butt RULES.)
The modern preoccupation with skinny women is absurd. Women are ** supposed** to have a large percentage of body fat; it’s how their bodies evolved. Your genes, to a great extent, determine your body type, and while you can modify your genetic inheritance with diet and exercise, you’re never going to turn a big-boned woman into a sylph.
Second, even though some high-maintenance female has a thin frame, if she hasn’t bothered to develop, charm, manners, or wit, she’ll end up alone as Camryn Manheim snags all the men.
I suppose I should explain what butt-huggers are. They’re similar to the bottom half of a bikini. Just spandex briefs. There is nothing in between one’s thighs to prevent rubbage (not garbage, the act of rubbing). I don’t think the butt-huggers even allow for underpants, except I suppose a thong.
There is no way in hell I would ever wear butt-huggers and run at the same time.
