…(Guys) Your hands are so cold that when you go to pee it stings…that was an embarassing December GUM appointment
It’s so cold here that -40 at 6:30 this morning actually felt normal. Yup, just the same as all the other days. Unfortunately, my car doesn’t think so. That “rrr-rrr-rrr-clunk” noise is sooo delightful first thing in the morning.
Actually, it’s so cold here that I’m inside, with the heat going, and my hands still haven’t warmed up. (Wanders off, mumbling, “I hate this state, I hate this state . . .”)
Oh, and . . .
Snort.
You’re so right! Start the car and turn on defrosters & heat, then scrape.
That’s the great part about living North. When you go South, what others call “cold” doesn’t even register on you. I think all Canadians have stories about how they were vacationing in Vegas in the off-season, and the only ones in the pool were the Canadians, etc.
Of course, on the flip-side, we have the fresh immigrants from hot countries walking around in parkas and full cold gear staring at us like we’ve all lost our minds when the rest of us are in jeans and t-shirts on a balmy +5°C day.
I can’t begin to tell you how hard that post made me laugh.
I came in here with the thought of saying either …When that lump in your throat turns out to be yer balls -or- …When a witches tit would warm your hands – but after the Chef’s contribution, any attempt on my part would be futile @ best.
My clerk didn’t make it in to work today (Monday). Engine block froze, and she lives in the boonies. It was -40 on the weekend.
…you actually have to button your jacket.
[/Seattle resident]
Happens reliably at -18C. 
I always wondered what caused that. Sadly, it almost never gets that cold in Toronto now. 
You know it’s cold when…
the penguins start rapping on the window 'cuz they want to come in.
Everyone’s alternators and batteries die at once, and it takes several hours just to get your car towed five freaking miles to the mechanic’s.
And no, I’m not going to wait with my car, thanks. I feel like surviving the night.
Yup, that’s me. I kinda wish it’d snow in London, at least a bit, though…
The armadillos won’t come out of their burrows to root around in the yard.
When your old dog with the sinus infection comes back in with 3 inch boogers frozen to his snout. Urgk! He’s a lab with a luxurious coat so he’s oblivious to the cold.
It is currently -1[sup]o[/sup] on my deck.
Well, this one isn’t particularly clever, but apropos at the moment and I was thinking of it this morning.
You have to leave the heater on when you leave for work in the morning, to make sure you can warm up your apartment in time to go to bed. 
…the governor of Minnesota closes all of the schools…
…except, of course, the private colleges.
Luckily for me, I was supposed to be student teaching at an elementary school in Hastings that day, so, I was off the hook. (This was 10 or 11 years ago, now…how time flies…)
And I was about to thank geography for the Gulf Stream!
Yeah, I remember that one. A funny thing was that most people thought he was a wimp for doing it. It’s OK for grade schools to be delayed or closed due to heavy snow, but closing the Universities just because of a bit of cold? Never! It reduces our bragging rights. After all, how are Minnesotans supposed to hold their heads up around Canadians if we let cold affect us?
(I’m just glad I don’t live in Embarrass, Minnesota. It’s was -54°F/-48°C early Monday morning. :eek: )
One uncharacteristically (for Pittsburgh) cold winter, January 1997, there were wind chills dipping to -75 F (-59 C). Schools all over the area were closed, but those of us tough birds at the University of Pittsburgh found out that classes were on.
I had frost on my eyelashes as I walked to my 8 am calculus class. The university finally suspsended all classes after noon that Friday. That was cold.
My husband has a pair of long johns.*** WTF for***?!?! Worse, he actually wears them sometimes! How cold can it be? What’s weird is, I didn’t know anyone back in NB who wore longjohns. We rarely saw them in stores. We figured they were for “cold places”, up North.
Why do your stores sell “winter jackets”?? They’re beautiful, and so thick and comfy and warm… when would I ever wear them? Or sherpa boots? Sherpa boots?! :eek:
flips out at the sherpa boots :eek:
Deep breath. Calm blue ocean. Nirvana attained. Zen ensues (oh hush).
[/Seattle resident from Eastern Canada]
Right now, it’s above 50 degrees. 50. We call that late springtime in NB. The coldest it’s been here so far is like, what? 27, 28? Yikes.
longs for the days of -35C to -40C winters, with winchills making it -70C…
…
Brr, damnit. I think I’ll stay here in Seattle. 