1 : Every pen in your house has an advertisement for a prescription drug on it.
2 : Robert Stack begins narrarating your life story.
3 : John Walsh begins narrarating your life story.
I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Take it, Satchmo …
4: People give you sad little smiles when you go by, then turn to their friends and whisper as you leave.
5: “Kick Me” signs have become a regular accessory to go with your suit coats.
6: You start seeing where country music singers are coming from.
The people who used to smile when you walked in, now smile when you leave…
Myself
- People start offering you their couch to crash on.
You now spend more money on prescription drugs than you ever spent on recreational drugs.
- You start thinking about accepting dates just so you can get a decent meal.
- You ever see yourself on VH1 or E! filmed in slow-motion.
- You start offering meals just to get a date.
You see the 60 Minutes crew in your driveway.
Oops… sorry, thinksnow. I messed up the number count and half your joke in one fell swoop!
The Narraration Blues (Fer Euty)
Sometimes I walk in this world
I walk right on and I see
People seem to just go on by
Ain’t no care about me
Ain’t no care for me, honey
Ain’t no care for me
I ain’t no part o’ one’s narraration
Ain’t no care about me.
Down on the square, there’s gossips
With eyes that spy but don’t see
They’ll tell the life they ain’t livin’
They sure don’t care about me.
Ain’t no care for me, babe
Ain’t no care for me
I ain’t no part o’ one’s narraration
Ain’t no care about me.
I usta b’lieve that right was right
And wrong would fall by the lee
But when tongues start talking, wagging, hon
There ain’t no care about me.
Ain’t no care for me, Lord
Ain’t no care for me
To Hell with somebody else’s narraration
Ain’t no care about me.
:::I know I’m having a Rough Time when odd songs pop into my head:::
What’s wrong with that?
[sup]My neighbor works in a doctor’s office and gives me all the promotional freebies they don’t want. I have quite a few of those pens.[/sup]
You wake up in the morning to go to work, put on your shoes…
and they’re still warm.
When she says;
“I hope we can always be friends…”
- Your attempts at levity are remdered asunder before you even get them out.
[sub]I’ll get you for that, Anamorphic[/sub]
- Your attempts at mortification are rendered useless due to Guadere’s Law.
- You realize your shoes are still warm because they’re full of dogshit.
- you come home from work and your normally raucous 5 year old quietly hugs you and tells you it’s alright.
…you can’t remember the last time you felt truly happy and satisfied… the last time you looked forward to the coming day.
…the job that everyone said you were perfect for and couldn’t be turned down for, turns you down…
Heh heh… the masked assunderer strikes again!