Oh, gosh dammit!
Okay, from now on, I’m typing all of my posts in Word and C&P-ing them over.
[sub]You are so on the list[/sub]
??) You get out of bed in the morning and it feels like no time whatsoever has passed since you dragged yourself out of bed yesterday morning.
- ::hand on the phone:: he’ll call…i know he’ll call…he’ll call.
-
People you don’t know start insisting you lie down and get you glasses of water
-
The homeless guy on the corner gives you his bottle of Mad Dog, saying “You need this more than I do”
-
Dr. Kervorkian calls you every day asking if he can “pop over for a few”
-
Instead of rolling over and turning the alarm clock off, you scream “Kill me now!”
-
You’d trade places with Robert Downey Jr., just to get the attention.
-
You’d trade places with MORTON Downey just to get the rest.
AAANNNDDD…
27. The voices in your head get Caller ID and Call Waiting!
- You look at your passport and drivers license photos and long for the days when you looked that good…
Programmers will relate to this:
The accountants just told you that they are changing the product classifications, and you’ve just discovered that they were hard coded in 17 programs.
You only have the source code for 16 of the programs.
The 17th program was compiled out of the test library of a programmer who no longer works here and it was never moved to the production source library.
The system administrator deleted his library to save space.
His library might be on last years backup tapes.
The backup tapes are in the vault at your sister company on the other side of town.
The accountants have already made the change and the Sales by Product Classification Reports are all screwed up.
The reports are due at Corporate Headquarters in 2 hours.
I could go on,
and on,
and on.
Everyone who needs anything calls you expecting to get it. You are suppose to know everything and do everything for everyone. If you ask anyone for anything, like to hand you a pen, their response is “That’s not my job.”
Your wildest fantasies about winning the lottery all involve paying off debt.
You come home to find that someone had turned your house into a drive-thru…
YOU WIN FIRST PRIZE ON THIS THREAD!
Dude, that was a helluva cock block, ya gotta admit. 
You misspell Gaudere’s name when invoking his law about spelling (I’m not even going to bother previewing this, because it will have an error no matter how many times I check).
You use the wrong gender when invoking HER law about spelling…
AAAGGGH!! I knew it! My apologies, Ms. Gaudere.