You know you're in redneck country when...

I live in Indiana. I have seen plenty of redneck-stuff around here in my time, but today, I think I saw the oddest thing yet…

A guy wearing a cast, and it was camoflage! He didn’t paint it that way, though, I saw it up close. The gauze-like material was manufactured that way! :eek: The only thing that surprised me most, that it was a real cast and not duct-tape!

Hoosier daddy? :stuck_out_tongue:

Wow, I’m impressed. No doubt that will catch on in South Carolina pretty soon.

Why would anyone want to have a camouflage cast?

My thoughts, exactly.

That’s nothing. A friend (and I use that term very loosely), sent over a catalog in which one could purchase

camo furniture,
bed linens and dishes.

If one were truly a redneck, these items would soon appear out in the yard, then how would you find them?

How else are you supposed to go duck huntin’ with a broken leg? Sheesh.

My kid bought herself a shades-of-bright-pink camo-pattern tankini… I’m guessing camo is merely a fashion choice. I never considered it particularly rednecky, but then I work on a Navy base and I often see Marines wandering about in camo. Now, a pickup truck painted in such a scheme does kinda scream “Bubba on Board” to me.

I guy I used to work with came in once wearing camo pants. Every time he said anything we would stare around wildly and go “Who said that? I hear talking… but I don’t see anybody! It’s like the speaker has perfectly blended in with his surroundings!” We did that ALL day. He never wore them again…

This story was told to me by the head of the rescue squad.

The setting: Rural Middle-Tennessee at a trailer on a large (>5 acre) wooded lot. It’s early fall, the leaves are still thick, and except for sourwood, mostly still green. Mother is inside cooking while her two-year-old plays outdoors by the trailer.

The problem: When mom goes back outside, the child is missing. She freaks.

The rescue squad arrives: “What does your child look like?” “Blonde, crew cut, blue eyes.”

“What was he wearing?” “Camouflage.” “Hoo-boy.”

“Ma’am, do you have a dog?” “Yes.” “Call him up.”

Dog starts barking, 25 yards or so off in the woods. “Keep calling him, ma’am.” Rescue squad finds the boy, still safe, with the dog, who stayed with the child when he wandered off.

“You’re welcome, ma’am. And ma’am? You might want to buy him some hunter orange.”

an old woman has to grit her teeth around her cigarette to tell the State Trooper to “Kiss my ass!”

(SOMEONE had to post a Jeff Foxworthy line)

Ooh, I live in central Florida. You can’t get much further south than that. Now, for the poking of fun - (and most of these are actual, true observations this pretentious artsy-fart has made about our backwoods friends)

You see a full beard and clean-shaven head, and think nothing of it.

The local Wal-Mart has a firearms department in the back (actually, I don’t think this too unusual. I guess it’s the same in every small town wal-Mart.).

Trucks usually have more than two back tires, and a toolbox across the bed.

The history teacher dips and participates in Civil War reenactments.

I’m sure there’s more.

Hee hee, reminds me of my friend’s shirt.

It’s camouflage material and has “HA! NOW YOU CAN’T SEE ME!” written on the front. :slight_smile:

As far as I know, every WalMart has a firearms [read::hunting shotguns, no handguns] department. Each one in Dallas and Houston and Austin and San Antonio… etc… has such a department and they ain’t exactly small towns.

And you know you’ve hit redneck country when every set of directions, no matter which way you’re going, includes “go down till you hit the blinkin light, then turn…”

Saw an ad in one of the catalogues my husband gets for a camouflage bikini! Really! He joked he was going to get one for me. NO WAY.
Yes he is a redneck.

definately when there are more than five cars in the front yard and at least two are on blocks…
or there are 5 dogs and 5 kids in the house makes you wonder who’s nursing whom…