You know you're in trouble when (part III)

Inspecter Clouseau is on the case.

Your best friends are the hero and his girlfriend who has a slight crush on you.

When a kender says “oops”.

You’re the world’s leading and only expert on a particular computer system / type of bomb trigger, and you’ve just finished programming it so that it will only respond to instructions from your sinister paymaster. Now for your reward.

You know you’re in trouble when (a) Mr Thunderfinger offers you the use of his personal helicopter to escort you from the island (b) he says “thank you, doctor, you were most useful” © or indeed “now for your reward”, but with emphasis on “reward”, like this:

“Now… for your reward

© he asks one of his henchmen to “take care of you” (d) he offers to demonstrate the awesome power of his new supercomputer (naturally, you will be the test subject) (e) he seems oddly cheerful (f) etc.

the action hero says to you “Stay right here. You’ll be safe”

A large crate has arrived. . . from ACME.

You turn on the radio/TV/Internet, and hear that regular programming is being interupted for an important news alert…

You’re the cute dog.

Or you were an inspiration to the Hero when he was a young child and he looked up to you and admired you. If the Hero just happens to get in contact with you for the first time in three decades . . . .

you hear a banjo

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into yours.

… the exciting theme music starts playing. (Skyrim and your 100-voice male chorus, I’m looking at you…)

You hear a black person screaming, “You need to get up outta there! The killer’s right behind you, girl!”

You’re a henchman and you make a mistake.

(You kind of wonder evil villains they manage to get henchmen to work for them.)

You’re standing still when you see the bomb squad tech running past you.

You are a guard wearing armor with a covered face, and you see someone you don’t recognize with extremely ornate armor and equally ornate and overlarge weapons coming down the corridor. This is especially bad news if your uniform is black and includes skulls as decoration.

There’s a hole blasted through a wall by an explosion and someone in brightly colored spandex steps through it.

If a skimpily dressed, pretty woman or smiling little old man takes up a martial arts stance.

When the person who has a dozen guns pointed at them is grinning.