You Know You're Old When...

…you don’t want anything for your birthday.

I am not old; not even thirty.

But I feel old. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my wife, friends and parents all asked me what I wanted them to buy.

I can’t think of a thing.

I have a steady job and when I am not at work I play with my children. I don’t really have any hobbies anymore. I mean, I screw around on my computers and I like golf, but I don’t really have any interest in computer games and who has 4 free hours anymore to golf?

A few weeks ago, our TV broke and I bought a new one, cancelling the sure-thing present my mother had lined up.

You know what I would like? Three months’ mortgage. Or some new windows for the house. Maybe a tune-up for my Saturn.

:frowning:

This malaise I am feeling is no joke… Can someone please tell me that there is something that I want for my birthday?!?

I wish I could help you, but I suffer from the same malady. My 20th birthday is coming up in January, and my mom called the other night to ask what I wanted for gifts for both that event and christmas. I couldn’t think of a thing.

Honestly, I can’t think of anything that I want that is purchasable (assume for the sake of argument that that’s a word).

I know the feeling. I’m not interested in clothes, I really don’t want any more doodads. I have enough jewelry.
How about a bottle of really good Scotch (or fill in your favorite vice). You know, something so expensive you would never buy it for yourself.

A Victorinox Swiss Army Knife.
[sup]ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES![/sup]

The Victorinox Pocket Tool
[sup]PUTS THE OTHERS TO SHAME[/sup]

Automobile Emergency Tool Kit
[sup]USE ONCE AND IT PAYS FOR ITSELF[/sup]

Maglite Flashlights Of Any Size
[sup]CAN’T HAVE TOO MANY MAGLITES[/sup]

Framed Picture Of Your Wife Or Children
[sup]DO I NEED TO SAY WHY?[/sup]

Ah, wouldn’t you really, really like a few hours of peace and quiet all by yourself at home so that you can do whatever you want.

Or if you can’t get that maybe a new set of wooden teeth.

:smiley:

Some good gift ideas you may have over looked:

Tickets (to a concert, the theater, the movies) and a free babysitter for that evening.

A weekend away at a resort with your wife (also with a free baby sitter for that weekend).

Gift Certificate for a massage.

Pre-payemnt for a class related to your interests (yoga, tai-chi, art, writing, music, boxing, etc.)

Board games. Great gifts that encourage you to invite friends and loved ones over.

Beer / wine / chocolate / flowers / book / cigar of the month club.

How’s about a set of Roberto Giobii’s Card College series?

Nothing like rediscovering an old hobby to clear the cobwebs and regain perspective. Worked for me as I approached 40 and continues to work today.

At any rate, good luck and hang in there!

BTW, Happy Birthday!!!

How about a fresh copy of your favorite childhood book to read to your kids?
The Pushcart War by Jean Merrill
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst sounds like just what you need.

Find something, or you’ll get duct tape.

I know I’m old when the snotty nosed kid at the wine store asks me for I.D. then snickers.

When my second dog died, and I was philosophical about it, that made me feel really old.

hmm im 16 and i didn’t want anything for my birthday.

Interesting aside… when I got home tonight, someone had dropped off a copy of one of my childhood books that they had bought at a “flea market” at the school. They bought it for their kids years ago and were now done with it. They were going to take it to a used book store when they saw my name in it and brought it over.

My son (now 3) loves it.

So, I am smiling now, but I still feel old.

A radio station starts an 80’s format, and calls it “nostalgia”. :eek:

Robin

I hate birthdays. My 18th is coming up soon and I’m dreading every moment. It’s going to be highly depressing. Oh, but I want stuff! Send me stuff!