You know you've had a tough leg workout when:

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Sooo…today I discovered the joys, and the horror, of something called super-setting, when two exercises targeting the same muscle group are performed immediately one after the other, with no rest interval, so as to avoid purging that wonderful lactic acid…

Afterwards, as I sat at the bar nursing my protein shake like a bankrupt farmer nurses his shot of Jack Daniels after the auction, the following came to me. I though, surely, I can’t be alone in this misery. So, Dopers, please chime in, with your own ways of telling:

…you’ve had a tough leg workout when:

-getting up from the stretching mat requires a considerable amount of planning…

-you see yourself in the mirror walking exactly like the people in your elderly parent’s retirement home…

-the sight of your kid about to jump into your lap while on the couch makes your eyes widen in terror…

-you’re no longer embarrassed to walk around the gym holding your spasming glutes…

-you delay getting out of bed the next day, even though you really have to pee, because you’re afraid of how much it’s going to hurt…

-you realize that it’s an outrage the folks who invented Advil didn’t get a Nobel prize…

-you hope your legs won’t buckle out as you walk to your car in the gym parking lot…

-Extra-Ultra strength Ben-Gay starts to smell really good…

2

When it’s uncomfortable to stand because your quads, hamstrings and calves are sore and tight, but its also uncomfortable to sit because your glutes are even more sore.

This is how I felt on Saturday after I went back to the gym after a couple of weeks, and did squats and lunges on Thursday, followed wisely by a night of drinking on Friday.

3

I did upper body supersetting today, but I can sympathize with the planning for getting up off the mat and the delaying getting up to go to the bathroom when the legs have been worked to the limits. I have been avoiding pushing off with my arms, but it doesn’t look as “weird” as some of what you’ve been describing.

Sympathies.

4

I also tend to bang my knee on something due to the inability to use my muscles fully to control my leg movements. This creates an excuse for skipping the next few gym sessions, leading to soreness the following session…repeat ad infinitum.

5

Your lower leg muscles are so tight and achy that you nearly trip going down the bus steps, which would really hurt yourself.

6

Those hit home.

But also – I sometimes don’t know just how hard I worked until about two, sometimes three, days later – my full stiffness sometimes takes that long to manifest.

7
  • you walk as if you’ve been the practice dummy for the penitentary all-star sodomy team.
8

I have to go down ONE step to let my dog out, and on days when I’ve had a particularly rough leg work out…that one step is like the Grand Canyon.

9
  • you need to call your friend up for moral support to walk up your porch steps.
10

You know the trick to pulling off the “old man” walk (without the leg workout)?

Walk like your balls are glass Christmas tree ornaments.

And I know what you mean about that leg pain. Every time I go for any lengthy run (>10mi), I end up doing that old man walk home, guzzling Gatorade, gingerly easing in and out of the shower, and taking a solid dose of Advil. The night isn’t nearly as restful as it should be.

11

…you have to walk up the stairs backward.

…when you roll out of bed and stand up, hear a huge BANG and blink in surprise when you find yourself sittng on the floor (your legs went out from under you and you didn’t even realize it). This used to happen to me far more frequently than I’d like to admit - we had 5-hour practices 6 days a week in the summer when I was in varsity high school volleyball.

…you get awakened in the middle of the night to the most horrific Charlie horses you’ve ever had and have to stuff a pillow into your mouth not to scream.

…the old man shuffle feels like a sprint.