You're going to the fucking gym! Can't you walk?

The BBQ Pit
1

For sweet fuck’s sake. I swear, human beings in the USA get lazier and lazier every single day. Or perhaps it’s just my town.

So I skipped lunch yesterday and today so that I could leave work at 4:15 and head to the gym a little early today - I like to get in and out before the rush starts. So I pull into the parking lot and notice that they’re doing work on most of the parking lot right in front of the gym. No biggie, I pull away to park in front of Staples, which is across the parking lot, and walk back to the gym.

Then I notice three cars parked in the fire lane in front of the gym. In the fucking fire lane. All three have just been left there. And then I notice the two geniuses who’ve parked their cars against the curbs in the parking lot - BLOCKING an entire fucking lane in the parking lot. People can’t pull out because these cars are completely blocking the area.

WHAT THE FUCK, people? You come to the fucking gym to work out and can’t fucking walk an extra 40 feet to get inside? Are you that motherfucking lazy? Will you drop dead if you don’t get to park in the fire lane instead of across the way? And you two - you little fuckers who’re blocking the road - move your cars, assholes!

I mentioned it to the girl at the desk, who rolled her eyes and said “Yeah, people have been doing it all day. I’m about to have someone towed.” And throughout my entire workout, all I heard over the loudspeaker was “Would the owner of a white Ford Explorer please move your car from the fire lane?” etc., etc…

I just do NOT fucking get the mentality that says one can work out on a stairmaster for 45 minutes, but walking 40-50 extra feet in a parking lot is just too damn haaaarrrrrdddd.

Ava

2

This reminds me of when I would see people walking on the treadmill. WTF? You can do that outside, and you don’t need to pay gym fees to do it! I could see it if you were in a cold, snowy place, but this was on nice days in Northern California, a region not noted for its harsh winters anyway.

3

Well Kyla, a couple of reasons for one person that does just that (though I DO park as far away as possible, not 'cause I’m “unlazy” but because I like to leave first!! :D).

I don’t use the treadmill much, I prefer the stairmaster or the elliptical.

But on weight training days, I’ll sometimes finish up a workout with a nice brisk 20 minute “cooldown” especially if I’m feeling good and don’t want to turn off the music.

After a cardio workout, I also will use the treadmill as an “easier” finish up cooldown job, after I’m finished on the stairmaster, or elliptical.

Why do I like inside as opposed to outside? Several reasons, the cardio machines have a smooth mechanical motion that is MUCH easier on my ancient knees and bones that cold hard pavement.

I don’t like bright sun in my eyes OR on my skin (I burn in about half a minute, and I’m NOT exaggerating, I’m VERY sensitive to the sun).

Also, unlike when you’re at the gym, if you realize you feel like crap, or if you get hurt, you CAN’T just quit and go home, however far you walked or jogged from your home, or your car at the park (yes, on cool CLOUDY days I take the dog for jogs in the woods!!), you have to then turn around and go back.

If you are having a crappy workout at the gym, you can switch machines, or workouts, or (if you’re listening to your body and it’s saying "hey, today is a good day to take it easy), you can get off the machine and go home.

I’m glad ava started a gum rant though, I was thinking of it myself!!!

Slight hijack, though still “on topic”.

1.) Why, WHYYYEEEEEE do you people workout for an hour, then walk outside the gym and LIGHT UP directly in front of the door??? Yeah, I want my; freshly worked, showered and shampooed self to smell like cigarettes two seconds after I get “all dolled up”.

2.) Put. your. DAMN WEIGHTS BACK!!! Do NOT disappear and leave them for others to take care of. It’s written on EVERY available wall IN the damn place!!! Okay, I work out, I’m pretty damn healthy, but, I can NOT lift that stinkin’ 100 pound plate you just left on the incline leg press!

3.) (this is an old one) It’s bad enough that we have to put up with spoiled brats in the locker room, DO keep them away from other patrons? It’s NOT fun to be bombarded by 3 naked wet children racing around the corner.

And the sign on tne door that says “No boy children over their 3rd birthday”??? That kid is SIX if he’s a day, and I do NOT appreciate his beady little eyes on my boobs the whole time I’m attempting to relax in the jacuzzi!!

end hijack and THANKS Avabeth

4

I live 5 minutes walk from my gym and walk about 30% of the time. I’ll walk if the weather is good, but I still remember the time I was on my way back and the wind was pelting little sharp bits of dirt into my face. That was a very miserable 5 minutes, let me tell you. But usually I’ll make the walk back my warmdown instead of lining up for the treadmills (there’s a twenty minute limit! We can see that you’re about to hit thirty minutes, you selfish buttsmears)

5

This is an easy one. The workout pumps the nicotine out of your system, so you want one right away. Kind of like waking up in the morning.

You need to glare at him and growl, it’s the only way the young ones learn to stare gracefully like the rest of the men at the gym. :smiley:

[additional hijack]
Your gym has a jacuzzi? AAARGH I’m jealous!
[/additional hijack]

6

This occurred to me after I posted. I’m actually thinking of one specific woman I saw walking on a treadmill for at least 45 minutes. It just seemed strange.

7

Maybe they’re like me and they just don’t feel safe walking aimlessly around a neighbourhood.

8

LOL, well actually I don’t care that they’re smoking, what I care about is that they do it RIGHT in front of the door, thus polluting all other gym patrons going in or out.

Ah, so THAT’S why the men are so polite and you never see them leer.

Sigh, not for long, as part of my “get the hell out of Alaska” budgeting, I’m leaving my gym at the end of the month, I’ll be working out at the college where I teach from now until I leave the state.

9

[continuing the hijack] Some people, like me, are pretty limited by knee problems and such from what equipment we can use. I can’t use the stairmaster at all, ever, and currently can’t even use the elliptical – I’m having knee surgery next month so hopefully that will be usable again, but in the meantime I feel like my knee is going to hyperextend whenever I’m on it. So I have to use either the treadmill or, since our gym has lots of them and you can get a pretty good workout on them, the Nu-Step, a recumbent trainer. So sometimes using other equiment just isn’t an option.

Our gym is attached to a hospital so has lots of folks who are at the very, very beginning stages of working out, often with severe obesity or very elderly folks or folks with other assorted medical problems that limit them. So walking on the treadmills is probably the most popular cardio activity in the gym. It’s very comforting for those of us who are neither young nor buff to feel far less chubby and unfit than in other gyms I’ve been in, however.

I am also so jealous of your jacuzzi in the locker room, CanvasShoes! The only gym I’ve been in where there was one where the women could get in nude was at the West Los Angeles YMCA, a lovely gym. I miss that jacuzzi dearly, our current one isn’t nearly as hot (that was in a very Japanese neighborhood so they kept the temp considerably hotter than most American jacuzzis) and is also coed so I have to wear a bathing suit. Just not the same! [end of continued hijack]

Back to the OP: Why do people have to park right in front of the door of the gym? There’s this great big huge (still mostly empty because it’s a brand-new second facility for our gym) parking lot, but people will sit there for three minutes blowing fumes out of their exhaust pipes waiting for a parking place 20 feet closer to the door to open up!

10

Others have already offered reasons why someone might want to walk on the treadmil, but here are a few more.

Using a treadmill forces you to maintain a given pace. In contrast, it’s easy to subconsciously slow down if you’re walking outdoors. You could thus wind up covering less ground than what you intended.

Walking on a treadmill also assures you of a steady pace, whereas outdoors, you are limited by traffic light signals and cross-traffic.

Finally, if I’m walking on a treadmill, I can read or watch TV. I can also be alone with my thoughts, with fewer distractions than what the outside world offers.

11

My first thought on the OP’s rant was maybe the people who parked at the door have physical problems? Did you check for handicapped plates?

I know at my gym not all members are there to get ripped…one woman in particular stands out. She is morbidly obese and an older woman. She has problems getting around. But she is at the gym every single night, slowly doing laps in the pool with the help of a kickboard. I admire her determination, and if she needs to park closer to be able to do this every single day, more power to her.

12

I use a treadmill (cough cough) because the hood I live in is infested with protected wet lands, charmingly referred to as Swamps.

I’d rather walk in the treadmill at the gym, I can concentrate better and there are no distractions with my kids. Though the TV at the GYM usually sucks.

13

in my gym every 5 minutes the voice on PA goes “the owner of double parked silver mercedes please move your car, you’re blocking someone” or something like that.

i wonder, what are those morons thinking when they double park their cars and go to workout ? i tell you, this happens every like 5 - 10 minutes :slight_smile:

14

once though i was parked on wallbaums parking lot ( at my older gym ) and they towed my car ! i paid $150 to the guy in the truck, and if i didnt have the money on hand the car would’ve been towed from brooklyn all the way to new jersey and i would have to pay for it :slight_smile:

thats when i switched to a gym with its own parking lot :slight_smile:

15

You feel sexually threatened by 6-year-olds?!?!

16

Handicapped or not, NOBODY whould be parking in the fire lane.

I don’t think the OP is upset at people who utilize the front parking spaces, but rather the selfish people who park in manners such that no one else can park… or drive out of their space.
jjimm - how would you feel if there was a 6 year old girl staring at you?
I have run into a similar situation as CanvasShoes. There was a lady who bring in her kid and he would always stare. It made me very uncomfortable.

17

I doubt she feels sexually threatened so much as it’s just freaking rude and makes people uncomfortable. When I was that age I knew not to stare at other people, even women, if I happened to see them naked (in changing rooms, etc.). Plus there’s a sign that says to not bring in boys over the age of 3, anyway, so obviously the management is thinking of that. Kids that age can certainly have sexually-related feelings, and I know I’d rather not be his pinup gal if I’m just trying to relax post-workout.

18

Yeah - that thought had occurred to me. But since none of the cars had handicapped plates and there were two handicapped spots not 15 feet from the door that were unoccupied, that’s why I got so annoyed with the morons in the fire lanes. They are hardly ever used so if someone like the woman you described had needed to use them, I don’t think anyone would complain.

And I’m definitely not there to get ‘ripped’. I’m trying to rebuild muscles in my leg from a riding accident last year - something I take meds for every day and I want off of them - my doctor has given me a workout program to use in order to rebuild those muscles. But it’s very rarely a day that goes by that I’m not in pain. I’ve just learned to hide it well, especially since it’s been a year. I do the elliptical for 25 minutes when I get inside, but I tend to go slow because otherwise, I can barely walk for the rest of the night. Being able to park closer is usually a little easier for me. I’m certainly not comparing situations to the woman you describe - I admire women like her as I have a very close friend going through the same thing and I am behind her 100%. I’m just annoyed at the people parking in the fire lane without any reason because yeah, there are some of us that it would help to park closer - but sometimes, we just can’t do it.

Ava

19

Meanwhile, Ignacious Fernwell, the anal-rententive and sexually frustrated manager of the Staples across the way, sees yet another car pulling into his lot.

The vivaciously beautiful Avabeth steps out of her sedan and walks across the parking lot. Ignacious gets excited.

“Maybe she’ll buy pens or…dare I hope it? A Toner cartridge!” he thinks to himself. His smile quickly fades as he notices her perfect shape rapidly disapearing in the direction of the Gold’s Gym. Not only has he lost sight of her…he’s lost a Sale. The familiar feeling of a million of Friday nights spent alone starts to boil within him as he speaks for the first time.

“Ms. Smithers! I need the number for Jackoff Towing and I need it now…!”

20

snark. You didn’t see what I looked like yesterday. If I’d parked in his lot, he would’ve towed me immediately:D.

And I made sure not to park in the Staples-assigned parking spots but the ones on the side of the store that aren’t marked - although if I had, I’d have gone inside, not only to use the spot, but because I’m addicted to office supply stores. I could spend $100 easy on pretty pens and pencils and notebooks. It’s like a big party for me when we have to order supplies at work.

I need a new hobby.

Ava