You know you've watched too many of those ID Channel shows when...

…you’re solving the murder in the first 15 seconds.

Can a 50 year old get into the FBI?

Its a problem that I have as well, I think that subconsciously I’ve worked out how the writers construct the plots .
A pity because I love Who dunnits .

When you recognize that the program you are watching is leaving out details of the case that you saw on another program.

I can solve the majority of the murders in true crime shows before I even start watching them. It was the husband.

Exactly. Or boyfriend.

“Marjorie was an hour late for work. Her co-workers were concerned. She always called in. Her boyfriend was also unable to get hold of her so he went over to her house…”

Oh, he did it.

Actual 911 call: (Worst acting in the world)"…come quick…she’s…blood everywhere! Send help! My girlfriend! I think she’s dead!"


I went through a period of reading Agatha Christie novels. I stopped when i realised i’d grown so familiar with her style that in the book i’d just started, she was introducing the characters and i was “It’s that guy” even before there was a murder, flipping to the back i was “Yep”, and that was the last book of hers i’ve ever read.

You know all the stories from at least three different perspectives.

You know that no matter how nice or normal a person appears to be, somewhere in there lurks a psychopathic killer.

You have filled several notebooks with things not to do if you should ever decide to commit murder.

What’s an ID Channel?

Yes, exactly. When they play that dramatic call made by the spouse/friend upon finding the body … place bets on spouse/friend is the murderer and/or has some significant involvement with the murder.

Mr. Beata will say, “Let me guess: there was insurance involved!”
I respond, “Yes. Now remind me … how much insurance do we have?” …beady eye squint…
Mr. Beata shouts, “NONE!”

The Investigation Discovery channel features crime programming, including “missing persons and murder inquiries, cold cases and historical crime,” as well as documentaries on forensic investigations. (sentence lifted from Wikipedia :cool:)

You could easily and utterly frame your wife should you ever decide to disappear.

“I’ll just get on her computer and look up a few suspicious sites, google some terms such as ‘How to get rid of a body’. Put some of my blood in her trunk with some duct tape, plastic sheets and bits of rope”

But you have to somehow get her fingerprints on all those items.

I am just about done watching the Poirot and Marple TV series and I don’t think I’ll ever trust another orphaned/adopted person again.

Paranoia creeps into all aspects of your life. That person in the grocery store has a sinister motive for saying, “Good morning”. The mailman lingers at my box too long, probably checking my doors for weaknesses. The man standing outside my apartment smoking is piling up the ubiquitous collection of butts that mark every murder scene. . .