What did I learn today?
I learned that while slathering your tootsies with lotion before going to bed at night makes for lovely moisturized feet in the morning, it’s NOT a good idea to walk across wood floors still partially asleep on said delightfully softened feet.
WHUMP. BAM. OUCH! :eek:
I think I bruised my tailbone. Again.
What have you learned this morning?
The misfortune of others can provide endless amusement 
Several years ago I had to get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. I then went back into my bedroom, and flopped myself down on the bed. Hard.
Halfway through mid-flop I decided to review my life events of that evening. Ate dinner. Watched TV. Called a friend. Rearranged my bedroom. Read a book. Watched some more TV.
Rearranged my bedroom, Gracie? Oh yeah, that was when I moved my bed to a different part of the room. I realized, in horror, that I had flung my full body weight, at full velocity, directly onto the hardwood floor. It was a good 10 minutes before I could get up, I was so stunned.
Miss takes & Tdn, good stories, nicely told, made me laugh right out loud.
You have no idea how much I needed that just now, thanks a heap.
But at least you still have nice soft feet?
Would that be a quarter flop? Or a quarter flopper with cheese?
I learned that Bob the Angry Flower is a hilariously funny webcomic. Also, I learned how an “invisibility cloak” works.
In fact, I would estimate that I was a good 78.3% through the flop when it fully dawned on me what I had done.
Missy, weren’t you the one instructing ME how to properly apply lotion last night?? I didn’t get any on my feet… 
Whenever I have moved furniture around I find that my toes (delighfully softened as they may be) suddenly become magnets for bed casters, corners of dressers, and rug edges.
Suffice it to say I haven’t moved furniture in a while.
And, mr bus guy - my feet are nice and soft. However, I can only go by how they feel on the carpet because I can’t bend to look at them.
I wonder what the cats thought of my interesting dance moves. Whenever they attempt to find purchase while tearing around the house and subsequently go careening across the room I find myself giggling. Good thing cats don’t laugh.
A feather pillow has a sufficient enough amount of down in it to completely inundate a very large bedroom.
The easiest way to do this is to leave said pillow alone with an over energetic puppy (this happened yesterday, what a mess).
What you said:
What I read:
…I learned that I need to read more carefully.
Aw man, and I had two dozen bales of tortoises and an industrial-sized vat of lotion all ready to go.
Holy crap. I laughed out loud too.
Oh, for the times you wish you had a camera! Well not you, maybe, but me.
I learned you can balance a pancake on a bunny’s head. It’s unfortunate that I wasted today’s life lesson on that - I could have learned something to do with work, I am sure, but that bunny just took it all.
Susan
I imagine it dawned on you right at the moment when you should have hit the bed. Because that’s when it dawned on me when I did something very similar.
Today I learned that my cats can most definitely recognize a suitcase, and that I will have a small amount of hell to pay, come Sunday night. :eek:
A former co-worker of mine told me a little story once.
Her boyfriend decided he needed one of those mats you put under your computer chair so you can roll it around on the rug; big, plastic, flat on one side, zillions of 1/4" long plastic spikes on the other. He bought it on the way home from work, got home after his girlfriend had gone to bed, and dumped the mat on the living room floor on his way to bed. Deal with it in the morning, he figured.
His girlfriend got up in the middle of the night, decided to go in and watch some TV, walked barefoot, lights out, into the living room… halfway across the room she began to get some very earnest messages from the other end of the body that Something was Very Wrong. She was in so much pain she couldn’t think; she just screamed… her boyfriend had an experience much like the OP’s, in that during the split second between her scream and when his feet hit the floor at a dead run he knew that he was in very deep doo-doo… when he got to the living room, he yelled at her to fall down, hoping she’d fall on carpet, not plastic spikes… alas, the doo-doo just kept getting deeper…