You May Share Your Mini-Rants Here!

The BBQ Pit
261

4 avocados in the sack this morning - 4 over-ripe avocados at lunch time

I don’t care if they are edible, I can’t eat avocados with black meat

Shit shit shit shit - I so wanted avocado in my lunch salad today

I’m trying somehow to blame Obama but it’s my fault for not testing them in the store before I bought them.

and one more thing - don’t you think it should be some kind of federal regulation that store bought salad dressings should have uniform spouts? I hate being surprised by a fully open spout when I was expecting it to squirt it out through the little opening in the center.

262

To the useless sack of shit that left a 6-8 week old kitten on the side of the interstate: FUCK OFF AND DIE!

263

That would be redundant. Etiquette already forbids serving condiments directly from a store-bought package.

Sorry about your avocados.

264

My husband’s friend keeps asking if we want to go do something and then cancelling. She asked last week if we wanted to go out to eat on Sunday. We even decided on the restaurant. Sunday morning, she ditched us to go to a museum. We would have gladly gone with her, and it was next to one of the two restaurants we had discussed. My husband turned down an invitation to learn to play squash because he thought we had plans already. There has only been one time that she’s followed through with our plans. I really don’t get why she keeps doing this. Her reason never seems to be an emergency. Next time she asks if we want to go to dinner or whatever, I’m just saying no from the beginning.

265

Just out of curiosity, how good is she at packing suitcases and boxes? Is she any good at Tetris?

266

Not too bad at those things but she does have organizational issues… She used to save everything directly to her Windows desktop until I showed her how to create folders (e.g. “Stuff”) to group related documents together. She moved every single icon to the “Stuff” folder.

267

I remember what I was going to rant about now - my husband washed his 2012 Mustang today and it looked like this on both sides, then we went grocery shopping, and the asshole mom in the car next to us did thiswhile we were in the store for five minutes. Thanks for the first serious damage on our baby, you criminal hit-and-run driving jerk. Hope your kid doesn’t learn your habits.

268

Please tell me that you have said kitten…and maybe looked around for others. Assholes who dump kittens usually do them in batches.

How the heck could you forget to rant about that!!! I drive a cheap econobox and I’d be totally ticked off if someone did that to me…your poor baby!!!

Bill drove me to the therapist today and I bitched because I’m too drugged up to drive or be trusted with flames. I now have different drugs, but I’m not going to take them until tomorrow. I don’t miss cooking, I do miss driving.

269

Sounds like classic introvert behavior: the plan sounds pleasant in theory but when the imminent moment arrives, it just sounds too damn exhausting to be around people … Any people.

Bonus points to RadioWave if he hums the Tetris theme next time she’s loading up the dishwasher.

I’ve eagerly bought - and then pitched - so many avocados myself. The window between “bleh, too hard, no flavor” and “bleh, half-rotten” is so quick. :frowning: I buy the store-bought Wholly Guacamole for most of my avocado fixes now; it freezes very well and the 100-calorie packs are just right for an office lunch/snack.

270

Menopause brain - I check to make sure I have pants on before going out most days! :smiley:

271

Not even if we use hand crocheted cozies on the bottles?
Ignorance fought.

272

Damn, my senior year we floated the photography teachers bug in the school pool, parked another teachers jeep in the art studio and moved the cafeteria into the library and the library into the cafeteria. [Which was the Alfred Packer Memorial Cafeteria until someone looked up who he was :p]

273

Well, we broke into the Spanish teacher’s garage and turned his VW bug sideways. All he said was, how many people did it take and who wants to pass Spanish this year.

274

We brought the kitten to the local SPCA, as for others, we didn’t see any and there’s not really any place to hide on top of a bridge.

275

This didn’t happen at my school, but one of my good friends was a guilty party. The shop class took a VW Bug, disassembled it, brought it into the cafeteria, and rebuilt it right in the middle of the room. The principal came over the intercom that day and told them that while their ingenuity was appreciated, they really didn’t need a car in the cafeteria. So that next night the guys got together and took the car back apart and put it back where it came from.

276

I only found out recently (after living in California for 10 years) that ripe avocados keep for several days in the fridge. Why is this not common knowledge?

My mini-rant is that my kids’ elementary school gives out student awards every month during their assembly. The awards are meaningless since every student gets at least one during the school year. But the parents of the students getting awards all attend the assembly, so if you don’t attend your kid feels bad. I really don’t like having to take off work to trek over to the school for the stupid awards.

277

You don’t get to smoke tobacco and weed for 15 years, drink a case of Mountain Dew a week, and then cry about your teeth falling apart. No, dear coworker, I’m not going to donate to your GoFundMe campaign internet panhandling for dental implants.

278

Seriously??? I would’ve laughed! Out loud, even. SDT (sorry for shortening the name - I don’t mean to offend - I’m just a lazy typist :D) how did you keep from laughing in their face?

279

No worries, others have used the same abbreviation. Thing is, it wasn’t a surprise. The subject of her wanting them and having zero dollars has come up before. It all seems to have come to a head from a recent hospital stay where her caregivers sort of insinuated she has meth mouth. She lamented on facebook “why does everyone think I’m a druggie??” Um, well, I dunno, maybe the scrawny scruffy look and the rainbow hair, along with the crumbling teeth and ever present faint whiff of pot? She’s a sweet woman, but phew, issues.

280

I’m great at loading the dishwasher and packing, but my kids are always mocking me for the number of icons on my desktop. If I put it away, I’m going to forget to deal with it. Of course with so many there, I’m likely to forget about it anyway.

I really hate all the Windows auto-folders. I want things in MY folders, thank you.

I want to see those. Truly. I don’t want to have them, but I want to see them.

My very mini rant is about my Mom’s estate. I was feeling guilty because I still don’t have it closed coming up to two years after she died. Then two days ago I got a notice from her utility company. Apparently, it’s a coop and when paying her bills each month, she (then I) was buying “credit allotments”.

According to This Is Not A Bill, there’s $2,120 worth. I called to be sure that this actually meant that she owned some sort of shares and they confirmed that this is true. The allotment can be shifted to a single beneficiary for either a lump sum discounted payout or payout as the shares sell in the normal course of coop business.

The discounted lump sum is about $450. Why such a steep drop? Well, Mom accrued her allotment between 1994 and 2013. The coop is currently cashing out the allotments for 1981. So if a beneficiary waited for the normal payout, there would be yearly payments of about $105 between 2027 and 2046. I did a present value spreadsheet and they’re using a hypothetical rate of return of a bit more than 6.5%

That’s not too outrageous, considering that the first payment is 13 years away. Maybe. The coop board has disgretion regarding when to pay out. It could be later. So who knows what the typical investment will be earning between now and then.

There are two annoying things about this notice. One is that in 2046 I will be 90 years old. Even my youngest sister would be 85. The other is that the house to which this Not A Bill was attached sold in October 2013. I guess they wait until a year is over to add things up. I can see that. But sending the notices out in MAY? That’s a little tardy.

I mean, if it hadn’t turned that California won’t shift title on California property on an Idaho court’s probate ruling, the estate would have been closed already. (I think I’ve already done that rant.)

Sigh. At least Rita, the customer service person at the coop, is responsive.