Apparently, I don’t speak Australian. 
How does that manage to sound so awesomely filthy?
I’m going to have to agree with the others - you got something for free from a known cheap bastard - I’d have been surprised if it did work properly.
Sorry to hear about your marriage breaking down, though.
I got the impression it was just her boyfriend. Not that that’s not painful enough. I could be wrong, though, because my Australian is rusty.
I wonder if Babelfish has an Aussie to American translator.
I can help. Foster’s is Australian for Beer.
And 120km = around 75mi
God, I hope not!!
That’s what they want you to think but I have it on good authority that Foster’s is Australian for Piss.
Oh, I wanna play. Anyone want to translate this into British or Aussie slang? Be my guest.
So my dishwasher died. Actually, it worked perfectly, but the handle latch broke and sometimes my clean dishes would get trapped in there. Unfortunately, the fly-by-night tile guy installed my floor tiles right up next to the damn thing, so I put off replacing the dishwasher because I was concerned I’d have to smash a few tiles to get the old one out and the new one in. No worries, said my friend, who is married to an English guy. We’re redoing our kitchen and we don’t use the dishwasher, so we’ll give you ours. I’ll send the husband over to your house with it.
English guy shows up with the dishwasher. He’s got things to do, he tells me, but he’ll come back later to install it for me and help me haul off the old one, which he never does. I finally hire a handyman to pull out the old one and install the new one. Sure enough, he has to smash three tiles and jack up my countertop to get the old one out and the new one in. Luckily, I kept spare tiles, mortar, and grout for just such an occasion, so in no time at all, I had a new working dishwasher, surrounded by shiny new tiles. Great! All is well!
Then one day, the dishwasher just randomly turned itself on. Another day, it would randomly turn itself off. One day, it just ran the “crystals” cycle over and over and over and over, until I opened the door. There is no “off” button that I’m aware of. It won’t drain anymore, so every now and then I have to go in there with a turkey baster to drain the damn thing. I want to replace it with a new dishwasher, but I will have to go through the whole “smash up my tiles and re-tile” thing again.
The moral to my story is: never, ever, ever accept or purchase a used appliance. You don’t know how old it is or what is wrong with it. You may be stuck with replacing the exact same appliance just a few weeks or months after your initial replacement. Suck it up and buy new so you know what you’re getting. The end.
Man, I can’t *wait *to read that in British! 
Funny
Don’t look a kangaroo in the pouch?
Don’t chunder swedes in 'er map of Tassie.
Probably not, but I wanted to play along and only know a little Aussie slang.
Sounds to me like a broken mercury switch: the one that toggles when the lid is closed.
In fact I can almost guarantee that’s what the problem is. See if you can have someone take the top off and either remount, or replace the switch. I fixed our washing machine just like this when I was 16 years old. Piece of cake. The part (if required) is probably like 10 bucks.
“Oy, it’s fucked.”*
I am not a British Person* or an Aussie person.
**A Dickens Classic - South Park (Video Clip) | South Park Studios US
It’s easier to complain.
Yah - I had a friend give me a microwave once - not because I wasn’t happy to buy a new one (seriously, a new microwave is like $50), but because she said she had a spare and if I came and collected it, it was mine for free.
So I trekked all the way across the city (which is about a 1 hour trip, one way) picked the damn thing up and took it home. I set it on the counter and plugged it in resulting in a huge flurry of sparks and smoke coming from the stupid thing. I looked inside and the entire inner top was melted into a big gooey mess, with obvious burn/scorch marks.
When I mentioned it to her she said ‘Oh, I guess the ex damaged it - sorry.’ The $25 disposal fee I had to pay to get rid of the f-ing thing was not mentioned. :rolleyes:
Anyway - I feel you OP. If you want to make yourself feel good by giving items away to friends and family members, at least make sure they are in reasonable working order. And before anyone starts, yes, apparently I should have inspected the stupid POS before I brought it home; however, honestly when your best friend says 'Oh no! Don’t buy a new microwave - I have a great one for free I’ll give you!" you sort of assume the mother-fucker actually works.
People getting shit for free. Then complaining when they find out it’s shit.
I am amused.
Cat piss in fact. Or, like having sex on the beach.
Well, there is the part where they went out of their way to pick up the free shit, which they wouldn’t have done if they had known it was broken shit. It’s not free to get rid of appliances, either - either you have to haul it to the dump and pay the price for dumping it there, or you have to pay someone else to haul it away. It starts to look like the person you got the stuff from is just using you as a free way to get rid of their broken stuff.
No offense Kambuckta but it sounds like you’re a few 'roos short in the upper paddock for even listening to that bastard stepdad of yours.*
*Seppo attempt to wind you up. It’s not like I called you a dag or shitbum or something…
Well, DUH!