You miserable fuck.

The Bloke and I are splitting up…he’s staying in our house, and I’m moving interstate. As a result, we’ve had to split some of the furniture too…he’s getting the bulk of it, and I’ve got dibs on (amongst other things) the washing machine and the dryer.

Now, in the meantime, my mum and stepdad have sold their property (and also moved to a new home). At the old place there was some furniture remaining, including a washing machine. Last week I asked if it was going to be ‘chattels’ with the sale, and he assured me it was not…‘Can The Bloke have it then?’…‘No worries, it’s his!’

So to cut a long story short, the fucking thing doesn’t work. It’ll wash orright, but the spin function is fucked. It’s probably been this way for many months or years: my stepdad is renowned for his penny pinching, and has probably had my poor old mum hanging out sodden washing for all that time.

But what pisses me RIGHT off is that he didn’t let us know it was fucked first. We had to travel 120km to pick the fucking thing up, and NOW it’ll cost heaven-knows how much to have it fixed: t’would have been cheaper to buy one here in our local town.

And of course, HE managed to save $ on taking the fucking thing to the fucking tip anyway…no skin off his fucking nose!!

Miserable fuck.


Oh, and if it can’t be fixed (which is likely according to the repair-fella) then we have to pay to dump the fucker at the tip anyways.

Not enough British slang.

Should have called the coppers. (Very bad pun).

Because the OP is an Aussie? Or am I being whooshed!

I had to read that twice to confirm that the “miserable fuck” was your stepdad and not the Bloke you’re breaking up with.

But yes, that’s kind of a shitty thing to do.

Not feeling it,

Even if it had worked perfectly and somehow managed to iron the clothes and folded them up and put them in your wardrobe with fabric fresheners attached. Why the feck would you have taken more than a couple of hours out of your life ( which you will never get back, by the way) for a second hand washer that would prolly cost no more than a few hundred bucks in the downtown mall?

Oh and for those wanting brit slang I can only say, “Wind your neck in, watch your face and give your head a shake!”

But seeing as you’re a colonial, then no worries!

I too was surprised that the “miserable fuck” wasn’t your ex.

Pleasantly surprised, in fact, since when I opened the thread I was grumbling “yet another couple who can’t help hating each other when they split”.

Don’t get yourself into a spin. Oh that’s right - you can’t.

I don’t get it.

You know your stepfather’s a miserable tight-wad, yet no suspicion on your behalf when he was a) leaving the machine behind and b) not asking you for any money for it?

And you didn’t speak to your mum? No calls of “…thanks for the machine mum; the Bloke and I are going to the property next week to pick it up…”?

Darn, I missed it by that much!


Let me try that again:

Not enough Canadian slang.

It’s amazing that pve/sell you people you know will give/sell you broken items.

I bought a lawnmower from a wife’s friend and it started up fine before I bought it, but then it broke down quickly. I looked at it and it was obvious he had taken steps to make it run just a couple minutes longer…plus when I asked him about it there was no shame/offer to buy it back.

It then turns out it would cost $30 to get rid of the thing…so I drove to his house at night and dumped it on his lawn. He then has the nerve to complain to me.

I guess you really can’t trust ANYONE anymore.

Did YOU personally test it before you loaded it into the lorry/truck/van/trailer? Did the spin cycle work at that point in time? Maybe a wire or circuitboard broke during transit?

If it’s not against the BBQ Pit rules and if you feel up to it, post the make, model, year, and model number. I like puzzles. Maybe we can fix the mechanical/electrical problem(s) long distance. You’re on your own with the stepdad trust issue.

You may be right, he may have known it was broken, he may have been making your Mum use it that way for years! Or not. You seem to have constructed that based on his being a known cheap prick.

You transported it a distance, it was already old and well used. There is the chance that it jiggles something loose in the move, being a piece of crap and all.

It would seem self evident to me, when you are scoring something for free, something second hand, that you are clearly rolling the dice. It may suit your needs, it may disappoint. Equally self evident would be that if it turns out to be a piece of crap, that breaks after a single use, you’re on the hook to dispose of it, and have wasted your time in fetching it.

The hard facts are; you got it for free/a real deal because it was old, used and there was no way to predict if it would break tomorrow, or last another year.

Your suspicions; they knew all along, it’s probably been broken for ages, he’s just to cheap to dispose of it, are just that; suspicions.

Of course, all that said, I am more than willing to believe he is indeed a miserable fuck and a cheap prick too! I enjoyed your rant and your slang. Keep up the good work.!

Ah, well, in this case you get what you paid for. Caveat emptor and all that, though in this case you weren’t really a buyer as much as a fetcher.

I think you meant Aussie:

*The Bloke and I are calling it quits…he’s staying and I’m pissing off somewhere not within cooee of here. Over a slab, he won the rights to a whole lotta shit…and for the sake of two stubbies, I got the washing machine and the dryer.

Mum and stepdad have flipped their digs and the old homestead after the relies picked over the carcass had some shit left over, including a washing machine. ‘Can The Bloke have it then?’ says me…‘No worries, luv, it’s his!’ is the answer me ring-in dad slings.

So turns out the fucking Whirlpool doesn’t work. It’ll pool orright, but the whirl is fucked. It’s probably been like this for as long as a dead dog stinks: the old man is a tightarse cunt and me poor old mum has prob’ly been twisting sheets on the fence post since Gough was a toddler.

What’s pissed me off more than prozzy at a church picnic is that the fucker said fuck all about the fucken thing being fucked first. We fucken floored the Kingswood 120 clicks to pick the fucking thing up, and NOW instead of getting a good machine for a piece of piss, it’s too fucked to fix: it would have been cheaper to buy the local Chinese laundry.

And of course, that arsehole who sticks to me mum like shit to a blanket managed to save the moolah by acting like virgin with her first dick and going nowhere near the fucking tip with it…fuck knows that as fucking usual, no skin off his fucking nose!!


Jesus H Christ get me a fucking beer.

Machine grease monkey laughed at it, and said that for a blue swimmer and lobster, he knows a bloke who’ll make the drum into a planter.

I see a dearth of the word “bastard” above. As a rule, that’s the term a true blue diggum Aussie would pull out first in a situation like the above. Otherwise, a fine effort.

Now that one I understood. And I’m not even an Aussie!! Well done sir!!

Bastard! :smack:

Did the repair fella come and see the machine? You may get lucky (relatively?). Our 20-year-old washing machine has been repaired twice in it’s lifetime, both times it was a plastic part (19.99) that was designed to fail so that other parts are saved. Can be done by a reasonably handy person, no need for a repair fella. Symptom: washes just fine but won’t spin and drain…

Not that I think your stepdad is any kind of wonderful guy, or anything like that…

I think you mean ‘dinkum’ Aussie…

So you’re complaining about something your EX got for FREE? Regardless of whether it works great or not, you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth - or whatever your Aussie slang version of that would be… Don’t look a wallaby in the didgeridoo or something.