"You must suffer to be beautiful." Damn right.

The BBQ Pit
1

For the past year and a half I’ve been dying my hair super light blond. (Just picture Eminem, that’s how blond it is) And I think it is about time I vented about the crap I have to stick in my hair.

The stuff is a mixture of a white cum-like liquid, and two white powders which if you mailed to anyone, you would be arrested and maybe the police would stop beating you with their billy-clubs if you asked nicely. I think there’s some other stuff in there, I really don’t know, as I try not to look at this stuff directly. When mixed, it turns blue for whatever reason, probably because that’s how you feel when you have this crap in your hair.

This stuff is horrible. I mean, horrible. My mom helps me with it. First, I ahve to take my shirt off. I’m modest, so I don’t like showing my shirtless hair ape self to anyone, my mom least of all (To clear up any confusion, I’m male). Then it comes. My mom pours this shit into my hair. I don’t know how, but this stuff has a way of reducing its temperature to -125 upon contacting skin. Then, all the glop atoms fart all at once, and produce a smell not unlike that of a chemical toilet. After this goop is covering all my hair, it feels slimy and terrible. So you have this blue crap with the consistency of liquid shit and semen mixed together, except this stuff smells worse, all over your hair. And bear in mind, if this stuff comes in contact with any of your clothes, even for a second, it will create a nice white spot. I should know, I got some on my tan shorts, and I could literally see it turning it white. It took a while to wash off, and now I have a big wet spot on the crotch of my pants.

And the worst part is, I have to hang around shirtless for A FULL FUCKING HOUR. Yes, a full hour for this stuff to take effect. This cold, slimy, smelly gel takes an hour for full effect. I’m wearing this stuff on my head even as I type this. And once the hour does finally pass, it takes about a billion rinsings to wash this crap out.

Makes me wonder how people with waist-length hair dye it.

2

Do you have to dye your hair? Why are you dyeing your hair light blonde in the first place? If you don’t like the hair dye, could you just leave your hair its natural color?

3

So stop bleaching your hair.

4

Yeah, but I’m sure it goes well with your golden, er, gun.

Of course the obvious question is, what place does your Eminem 'do take you that you can’t get to with your actual hair color?

5

The reason I dye my hair is because I hate hate hate HATE my normal hair color. It’s brown, and not a nice shade of brown either. I look like I’ve had my head up someone’s ass. Call me vain, but I just think the light blond looks better.

And no, I didn’t do this to look like Eminem. I don’t even like Eminem, I just used him because his color is closest to mine.

6

If you want light blonde hair, is there a different type of hair dye you could use?

7

Guys with dyed blonde hair look terrible; it’s the second-ugliest fad going, right after that new thing women do where they dye a blonde layer over brown hair and look like a skunk. There’s no possible way your brown hair looks worse than your undoubtedly horrifying bleach job. A bleach job on a guy screams “I drive a Civic with a spoiler and I wear gigantic pants.” You don’t need that.

Trust me, the effort is NOT worth it.

8

Why don’t you just get a dirty old shirt to put on, so it doesn’t matter whether or not you get bleach on it, you moron?

9

If it takes too much effort, and it’s not getting you laid, ditch the bleach job. If you don’t like your natural hair colour, experiment with another one. Or shave it off completely. The world is full of unimaginable possibilities, explore them all.

10

Be glad you aren’t female. I dye my hair blonder (I’m naturally blonde, but not very) and I feel that I will look trashy with the complete platinum hair look, so I only dye strands of it. This is a long arduous process that involves putting a cap over your hair, poking holes in the cap with a blunt instrument, and then pulling strands of hair out through the cap. This hurts like a bitch and takes a very long time. And I should do it again soon. I’m hoping that the sun will bleach me blonder naturally and I’ll be able to avoid it.

If you bleach your hair, you could easily dye it any color you like! Lucky. I want to dye parts of my hair blue, but I’m afraid it will look silly with my hair that goes to the middle of my back.

Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays! :rolleyes: Was that really necessary?

PS: I like bleached hair on guys.

11

Bleaching hair is a longer, more arduous process than just dyeing it, and you have to use much more noxious chemicals. It’s the difference between painting over something and stripping it down, priming it, then painting it. A regular at=home dye job has to sit for 15-30 minutes, depending on the brand you use and how much gray you have. It still smells pretty funky, though.

When I had long hair, dyeing it was no biggie. I slapped on the dye, making sure to get the hairline really saturated, tossed it up in a clip, and set the timer. Rinsing it out took a little while, but still no big deal. Slightly inconvenient, but no more so than a facial pack. And it was definitely worth not running around with big gray streaks at the ripe old age of 22.

12

Oh, and I’m afraid I have to second the vote about wearing grub clothes that it’s okay to drip bleach on. When you’re female and living with others, running about shirtless tends to not be an option, so you make sure to wear clothes that are already junk in case of drips.

13

Yeah, I thought it was necessary, considering his self-effacing blubbering about his horrible “hair ape self” when the problem could be solved so easily. At the extreme risk of sounding trite, I think the bleach is getting to his head.

Besides, I am a cruel, bad-ass, L337 HaX0r 4-eva. Especially on Mondays.

14

WHEEEEEEEEE!! Hahaha, it’s been an hour! Time to wash this crap out!

15

I bleach my hair. The entire bra-strap length deal.

I go to a salon at noon, and come out at 4. It takes hours, it is not pleasant, it’s expensive ($150), and it certainly isn’t good for my hair. However, it looks good and doesn’t put a real dent in my wallet, so I keep doing it.

16

Don’t know about your local products, but there are bleaches that don’t smell so bad. Also, if you use a stronger developer (the liquid stuff), it doesn’t take as long. Check your bottle - it’s probably a 30 volume. You can go as high as 40 volume without professional help.

And I have mid-calf length hair that requires bleaching, then dying. Fun for the whole family.

mischievous

17

I am curious, where have you smelled “liquid shit and semen mixed together” in order to make the comparison with your hair dye :slight_smile:

18

You don’t even want to know the crazy mad things I’ve done with my hair. I feel for you, man. Bleach is a temptress alright. She makes you think you want her golden wiles, and then she assaults your nose, burns your scalp, and likely turns your hair some scary shade of orange in the process.

Right now I’m stuck in a horrible situation. I dyed my naturally blonde hair black to cover up a bad attempt to bleach out the previous hot pink. The black hair looks great, but there is nothing i hate more than blonde roots on black hair. This means that every few weeks I have to mix up a mini-batch of hair dye and apply it to my roots with an old toothbrush. The bad thing is that I think I’m going to have to do this forever. There is no reasonable way to grow out or bleach out black hair. Sucks.

19

Why don’t you just use a L’Oreal product, or similar, with an easy formulation, lots of conditioner, and a bit of perfume to mask the worst of the peroxide? They have ones with prelighteners for darker hair.

If you’re a man dying short hair blond, you don’t even have to worry about condition so much, because your hair is never going to have to grow long enough for dried frazzled ends to become a problem.

And it really shouldn’t burn that badly. That means you’re sensitive to it, or the formulation is wrong. It also means you could end up with a blistered scalp, and possible hair loss. In all the times I’ve lightened my hair, it has only burnt badly once, and slightly one more time. I switched brands.

20

Hey, I have no problem with that, regardless of whether you’re in the process of dyeing your hair.