As a member of the uniformed services (US Public Health Service), my rank as an officer is visible and apparent to anyone who is intimately familiar with the military. At least two or three times a month, I will have strangers remark that I’m the youngest person they’ve seen at my rank, and sometimes I don’t know what to say in response. To be clear, the comments are said in a friendly way, so there is not offense taken by it. But I perceive some presumptuousness behind these comments that make for awkward feelings on my side, and I want some help figuring out a sound response. What would you say if you were in my shoes?
A few points to elaborate on my awkwardness:
I usually say “Thanks” and just leave it at that. But then I get to thinking: its not really a compliment to call someone young. It would be like thanking someone for saying you’re tall.
I assume what they are really expressing is awe that someone my age could attain a senior rank. It’s another way of saying I’m accomplished. But a less charitable inference is that they are actually asking (even if non-maliciously) “how did a kid like you get to be your rank?” So this is another reason I question whether saying “thanks” is a logical response.
They are acting like I’m exceptionally young. But 40-something is not that young. Certainly not young enough to make a big deal over on on the street. So I strongly suspect these people are likely mistaken about my age. Is it rude for me to point out the truth? Or is it best to just let them keep thinking I’m some Dougie Howzer type?
I now anticipate people will accuse me of stealth-bragging for talking about my apparent youthful appearance and being a big baller shot caller. It is okay; bring it on.
Just say, “Really?” or “You don’t say,” and change the subject.
I remember when I was the Bright Young Thing (female) in a department of male engineers. They were amused and a little dazzled by the combo of cuteness and smarts. I also remember when that went away and I became just another middle-aged woman. Still smart, but not remarkable anymore. So enjoy it while it lasts.
Look them in the eye, and with a stern expression say, “I picked up a kaiser blade that was a layin’ there by the screen door, some folks calls it a sling blade, I call it a kaiser blade. it’s just a long handle like a axe handle with a long blade on it that’s shaped kind of like a banana. Sharp on one edge and dull on the other. It’s what the highway boys use to cut down weeds and whatnot.”
Practice this twenty minutes a day in front of a mirror.
This was my first thought, exactly, but I had no idea if I would’ve posted it ;). Thanks monstro!
A serious answer: something like “indeed.” or “whaddya know?” as others have said are best. As you play out in your thinking above, the comment can come from many places. All you know is that they’ve noted it. Let them show you what they mean, if you get to a point where that person matters to you. :shrug:
“Isn’t it odd that society considers 14-15 year old black girls to be women, in terms of sexual exploitation, but suspects 40 year old black women of being too young to hold real authority?”
Probably a conversation stopper, but I think I’d be thinking it. But I’m pretty cranky these days.
“My goal is god-emperor of the world by 50. I’m running ahead of schedule. The next few months should be fun!”
I think I’d actually just say “Oh, that’s interesting,” and leave it at that.
The complement is that you achieved your rank while you were young. Not that you are young. I mean…unless you managed to STAY young for 50 years. So…good job keeping your Dorian Gray painting safe.
Maybe they think you suffer from Benjamin Buttons Syndrome?
Just our of curiosity, why are the US Public Health Service and the National Oceanic Atmospheric Agency the only agencies outside of the military to wear uniforms?
Alexander The Great conquered the known world before he died at age 32.
Hot damn, that saleswoman at Levi’s must’a been right, my ass is black!
I’ve been known to respond to “aren’t you too young?” with “maybe your eyes are old.”
My SiL’s cousin, a 5’0" bone cancer specialist, has been known to answer “no, honey, where’s the doctor? I want to see the doc-tor” with “I am the surgeon who’s going to take an electric saw to your thigh. If I were you I’d pay attention.”
