You say vagina, I say vu-vulva

[3trew]

@ZipperJJ

So “balls” is out for man parts too, right? If I want to kick a guy in the balls, I really need to aim for his scrotum, yes? And, also avoid hitting the penis.

The scrotum is the sac, not the balls. You’d need to be aiming for the testes, were the OP correct.

That said, speaking from recent experience, precision isn’t a priority in this situation. Penis, scrotum, testicles, balls, nads, vas deferens, foreskin, third pubic hair on the right and straight on 'til morning, as long as you manage to miss the quads and the bones and hit something soft very hard you’re golden. Nomenclature is for later.

I don’t recommend kicks, as we tend to see them coming. The USMC apparently used to recommend “grab, squeeze, and twist IN A VIOLENT AND FORCEFUL MANNER”, which, given the capitalization, makes me wonder how many were grabbing, squeezing, and twisting in a gentle and sensuous manner. That will often make a fellah let go, but not always. Sometimes it gets complicated.

I prefer “Naughty Bits”, as it seems fairly universal and fun.

[cmyk]

@ZipperJJ

Question for parents…what do you teach your kids as the name for what’s “down there” for girls?

A hoo-hoo (girls) and a peeny (boys). This is when she was 4, and wanted to know why her baby brother looks different down there.

Now that she’s ten and more inquisitive, we, of course, told her it’s her vagina. We didn’t bother to go into an anatomy lesson (lest more questions be raised and thence the diagrams and pictures :eek:). Vagina is the accepted catch-all for the collective organs down there BY FAR… no need to complicate the matter or confuse her. She’ll learn the different parts, proper names and what they do very soon, and in a more formal setting.

[chowder]

It’s a twat people.

I say tomahto you say tomayto.

Or summink

[Aspidistra]

@Monstera_deliciosa

Her name was actually Dolores

WTF does Dolores rhyme with?

[Dublin11]

@Aspidistra

WTF does Dolores rhyme with?

I was as bamboozled as you when I first head about this.
But I was assured by an actual real life American person that in America, Dolores rhymes with clitoris.

I’d imagine it added significantly to the snigger factor for any teenager in America reading about Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter.

[threnodyangelfire]

@Aspidistra

WTF does Dolores rhyme with?

Oh you just hurt me laughing. In the good way… seriously…

Because I didn’t know it either. And I was in a Board meeting, and we were talking for some reason about Seinfeld episodes…
And yeah… clitoris is pronounced a whole lot differently here…
(never have I gone so red so quickly…)

[Aspidistra]

Well, there goes another micron of ignorance

[Ferret_Herder]

@Dublin11

I was as bamboozled as you when I first head about this.
But I was assured by an actual real life American person that in America, Dolores rhymes with clitoris.

Only if you mangle either/both pronunciations.

[chela]

@Ruby

Partly inspired by this thread, what the hell is up with the recent misuse of the word “vagina”?

I was also recently watching an episode of “The Girls Next Door” where the girlfriends are making chocolate impressions of their girly parts as a birthday present for Hef. Holly continually referred to the area at the top of her legs between her thighs as her vagina. She even made a point to be proud of the fact that she was using the “real” word instead of a nonsense word.

Listen closely. For the last time, a vagina is the inner part from the cervix to the outer part, the VULVA. If I were sneaking a peek under a girls skirt, the last thing I would want to see would be her vagina. That would be just wrong.

So practice using the word vulva. See? It’s not hard. Vulva. Not Vagina.

Thank you. That is all.

See my wag is that Holly wanted to call it a cunt, but that would be a no no. And kendra gave hef her chocolate starfish! And Bridgit’s choco boobs needed a lift as well. but they are the only real ones on the show!

[WhyNot]

@Monstera_deliciosa

Some wiseass is going to correct you, so it might as well be me. In that Seinfeld episode, they actually thought of “vulva” early on, since one of their incorrect guesses for the woman’s name was “Mulva.” Her name was actually Dolores, so it was another part of the female genitalia that Jerry didn’t think of until the end of the episode.

Wow, I had it remembered exactly backwards! Sorry! And thanks.

Last edited by Monstera deliciosa; Yesterday at 11:34 PM. Reason: Missed a period

:eek:

[Finally]

Thank you for a much needed early morning laugh.

And I vote for girly parts.

[billfish678]

@Diogenes_the_Cynic

I think this is one of those cases where the definition is just goingto change and we’ll have to come up with a new word to specifically denote the tubular section.

why do I have visions of an older statesman dressed in formal wear sitting sideways on a bed next to his young daughter, explaining the facts of life, with the converstation going like this:

“See, honey, its like this series of tubes and…”

tubular indeedy

[ShibbOleth]

Get a grip.

They’re just trying to use something less vulgar and more proper than pussy, bearded clam, cooter, cunny, bush, cabbage patch, beaver, love muffin, box, beaver, slit, love canal, cockpit, nookie, sugar walls, meat curtain, glazed donut, fur box, drain, flytrap, eel skinner, hog eye, hair pie, trim, fish taco, treasure chest, vertical smile, the Y, tongue gully, landing strip, divine scar, gash, gap, crotchshot, happy valley, piss flaps, manhole, prick pocket, snapper, quim, oyster catcher, love bucket, trench, slot, twat, goat milker, honey pot, itching jenny, lather maker, mounf, muff, nest, pelt, squib, stank, piece, oven, split, pipe cleaner, mouth without teeth, key hole, jellyroll, hatch or cunt.

Anatomically correct? Most likely. Sure, vulva or labia or mons venus or pubic region or possibly even clitoris could be more anatomically correct. But we all can figure out what they are talking about. I’d leave it be.

[corkboard]

Furburger! You forgot furburger!!

I’ve always been partial to The Golden Palace of the Himalayas.

And we taught our girls to call it a vagina. We figure they’ll get the clinical nomenclature as they get older.

[Chanteuse]

@chowder

It’s a twat people.

I say tomahto you say tomayto.

Or summink

I think that this says it best!

(NSFW–language)

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@ShibbOleth

Get a grip.

They’re just trying to use something less vulgar and more proper than pussy, bearded clam, cooter, cunny, bush, cabbage patch, beaver, love muffin, box, beaver, slit, love canal, cockpit, nookie, sugar walls, meat curtain, glazed donut, fur box, drain, flytrap, eel skinner, hog eye, hair pie, trim, fish taco, treasure chest, vertical smile, the Y, tongue gully, landing strip, divine scar, gash, gap, crotchshot, happy valley, piss flaps, manhole, prick pocket, snapper, quim, oyster catcher, love bucket, trench, slot, twat, goat milker, honey pot, itching jenny, lather maker, mounf, muff, nest, pelt, squib, stank, piece, oven, split, pipe cleaner, mouth without teeth, key hole, jellyroll, hatch or cunt.

You forgot squish mitten.

[Sapo]

@NinjaChick

…It’s all gross down there anyway.

You must be doing something wrong.

[RickJay]

Also “Whisker ditch.”

[Jenaroph]

@Dublin11

I was as bamboozled as you when I first head about this.
But I was assured by an actual real life American person that in America, Dolores rhymes with clitoris.

I want to correct this before you or any other non-Yank come over here and accidentally embarrass the crap out of yourself:

No. No, it most certainly does not.

Doh-LORE-es.

CLIT-ter-is.

Someone was pulling your leg.

[CaerieD]

@ZipperJJ

Question for parents…what do you teach your kids as the name for what’s “down there” for girls? I honestly can’t ever remember being told that I have a vulva or labia or mons pubis until I read it in a 5th grade science book. In fact even as an adult, unless I think about it scientifically, I have a vagina.

By the time I got mine, she was in her teens so, ah, I kind of missed that talk.

My mother raised me knowing all of the words, though. She’s a CPM and doesn’t flinch at being clinical. I knew that I had a mons pubis, labia, a clitoris, a urethra, a uterus, and ovaries and the whole visible part could be described easily as the vulva.

Through an ironic oversight of the obvious, I didn’t know about vaginas until I was about eight. Good God was I scared of trying to give birth through my urethra. :eek: