So I got my union newsletter in the mail. Mr. Johnson has worked at Ralph’s for 50 years, we’re working on a new contract, yada yada yada.
Ooh, look- “How to Survive a Heart Attack When Alone.” This could be helpful…
Funny, both of my parents were paramedics, surely I’d have heard of this by now. Sure enough they’ve never heard of such a thing.
Ten seconds later I’m looking at a Google listing of pages debunking what turns out to be a classic Internet legend. (Snopes) (Mended Hearts) Not to mention the Red Cross.
Goddammit, I pay you SOBs forty a month to supposedly protect my work benefits. What the hell are you doing, printing shit like this and giving it to every one of your members?! Five fucking seconds it took me to debunk that pile of crap. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to trust everything you read on the Internet? You’re a goddamned labor union, you handed me a two-inch book full of doctors and their contact info. Have you ever once talked to any of them?!
No, you’re not doctors, and no you’re not publishers, so anything you do in those two fields can not be expected to be of professional quality. So you know what you do then (especially medical advice)? Don’t fucking bother! I don’t send you letters saying that pouring sugar in the gas tank will soup up your engine. We have enough morons between the customers and co-workers. We don’t need more. Kindly keep your old wives’ tales to yourselves.
Oh, lookee! Time to send in my dues.