I was being nice by helping out on the phones today at work. Is there any reason why you had to be on the other end, you fraking whacko?
The story: (as far as I could understand)
I pick up a line and ask the man if he’s been helped. He starts babbling, but I pick out one of our nurse’s names.
Me: “You want to speak to M?”
Him: “Yeah, yeah, aren’t you M?”
Me: “No sir, if you’ll hold just a mom…”
Him: “Stop stuttering!” I look to the sky for salvation.
Me: “I’m not stuttering sir. If you’ll just.”
Him: “Are you sure you’re not M?” Pretty damned sure.
Me: “Yes, sir. I’ll…”
Him: “I have a voice recognition chip that says you’re M!” Oh, good for you.
Me: “Hold on.”
And that ended my time on the phones for the day.
-Lil
Oh yeah?! Well, *I * have a voice recognition chip that says you’re a banana milkshake! So quit with the pretending not to be a banana milkshake, you banana milkshake, you!
This is one of those conversations you just want to rewrite in your head after the fact:
Me: “You want to speak to M?”
Him: “Yeah, yeah, aren’t you M?”
Me: “I used to be – before the operation – but I’m Q now.”
Him: “Stop stuttering!”
Me: “I apologize. It’s the HRT.”
Him: “Are you sure you’re not M?”
Me: “My therapist says no.”
Him: “I have a voice recognition chip that says you’re M!”
Me: “Oh! You must be looking for the psych ward. Hold on.”