At my most recent yard sale, I had a family of 12 arrive in a station wagon. The females walked around picked up hundreds of random items asking me how much they were, holding on to some these items for a while and later trying to bargain with me.
The males stood around glancing at this and that from the driveway and my lord, the children touched every freaking thing they could get their hands on (especially my table of cutesy nick knacks that I had accumulated over the last 10 years)
I had to keep my eye on four women wandering about, three men eyeing my things and five children leaving their ice cream finger prints all over my shit.
I kind of had inkling as to what they were up to, but I’m not a confrontational person nor were there any men around on my side if a fight ensued.
They hung around long enough for a busload of elderly to arrive, and at that point I couldn’t keep track of what was going on. I mainly watched the nick knack table, since children some times have sticky fingers. Little did I know the parents had flypaper for fingers.
Eventually, all four women “trapped” me with multiple items and continued to distract me with their bargaining. I was firm with pricing, these were items I had received as wedding gifts and did not use.
A public service announcement: Yes, ladies and gents, you now know where most your gifts end up, so in the future just give cash. Since we did’nt register anywhere, we figured we would make it easier on you - no hours of looking for what was left on the registery - and us since we planned to buy a house and needed the $$, which you all knew. Thank you.
These wedding gifts were mostly unopened and I had discounted them greatly since they had sat in my closet for two years.
As they walked away, I noticed a strange optical illusion. The grocery bags I had graciously given them to carry their purchases looked much bigger than they did when I packed them. I also ran about taking inventory of my stock, which suddenly did not look as impressive as it had that before they arrived. Not to mention, my nick knack table looked like chocolate ice cream encrusted Pompeii.
That was my last yard sale and if I want to get rid of something I go to Ebay.
A special note to Aunt Sadie, Aunt Ruth, Aunt Marion, Cousin Barbara, Cousin Peg, Michelle, Anne, Nicole and Sharron: I really did not need nine Mikasa vases, you all know I have four cats and you also know anything that resembles a flower gets eaten around here.