Quite. Except, it’s called many things, including “speed control lever” too. And it is called “throttle” in my New Holland diesel tractor owner’s manual, which is a 2017 edition; I actually looked it up before posting. Since it doesn’t throttle any air flow, I put the term in quotes.
You could be asking for a gag or duct tape to the mouth.
Trust me, duct tape on the mouth pulls skin off when it’s removed.
I’m not sure how I know that.
If it was my 10 year old self it would be baseball cards. I was so obsessed with them that my godfather, who was himself a baseball fanatic, told me to “for the love of God, just stop”.
Listen, I’m sympathetic to you guys, really, I am. But I’m a pain management patient. I’ve got a pinched nerve in my neck, and it HURTS. A LOT. I can’t sit for any length of time without my neck being supported. Yeah, a rolled-up jacket can work, but not very well. I need my special foam pillow, I call it my “noodle,” because it’s shaped like a pool noodle, you know, one of those floatie-thingies you can use in a backyard pool. Anyway, my neck needs to be supported. And I need my prescription lidocaine patches. Plus some medical tape to hold the patches on. MAKE SURE you get the tape for sensitive skin! The regular kind pulls and then I start itching! I’ll also need a microwave heating pad, so that means we have to stop every so often at a gas station that has a microwave inside for customers. I do have some of my prescription pain pills with me, but I only carry a three-day supply. That’s how I manage my intake. I put three days’ worth of pills in my little bottle, then I write the day of the week that I filled the bottle on the lid. It really does serve as a reminder to stop and THINK before I put the pill in my mouth. I have a few muscle relaxers in that bottle, and a couple of prescription pills for my migraines. That stuff is a miracle drug! Back when I was a kid, the migraine medication was toxic! If you took too much of it, your toes would develop gangrene and fall off! I was so glad when Imitrex became available! It works ONLY on migraines! It does have a side effect where some people develop chest pains and think they are having a heart attack. That’s a small trade-off for a miracle drug, don’t you think? Hey, it’s time to stop at a gas station with a microwave. My heating pad has cooled off. Don’t forget to put a paper towel on the bottom of the microwave first, most “public” microwaves are coated with nastiness. Can somebody get me a bottled water, too? I’m very thirsty!
~VOW
Hey, good for you! I mean, a lot of people are scared of China flu, but I can tell you’re on to that crazy Democrat shit. Me, I keep testing positive for the, whataya call it, South African strain? but it’s [deep, horrifying coughing jag] just like the flu, I mean, okay, I’m running 104 today and I’m super tired, but I’m sure my mom died of something else–she was about your age, you know, like old, so…
I’m stealing this idea, because I do go to CrossFit, and would love to show off to my captors how I can deadlift, do burpee box-jumps, lateral bar burpees, facing-bar burpees, strict pullups, kipping pullups, muscle ups, Devils’ presses, and just general talk about “the girls.” Hell, we can compare times! Tell ya what, let’s do just five rounds of Cindy for time. . . just for starters’ grins and giggles, and we’ll time each other.
Those fools’d be so winded after Round 2, I could walk away.
Tripler
Rule #1 about CrossFit: “You do not shut the f*&k up about CrossFit.”
Herpetic lesions.
Do you mind if we go back and get my baby Boris. I mean he’s not really a baby since he’s 17 but I’m not comfortable leaving him alone because he only has enough food and water for a day or so and he gets so lonely without me. He’s actually about 84 in human years and he has arthritis so he tends to get matted so it’s really important that I brush him everyday. He’s really a good kitty overall. Sure, he sometimes poops outside the box but he is 17 and he has arthritis and kidney problems so you can’t blame him. You also have to watch his paw because he had this sore that randomly opens up and starts bleeding and he leaves little bloody footprints everywhere and the vet wants to amputate his toe but says he can’t because of the kidneys and his heart murmur but I think the vet is mean anyway because he put a bad kitty sticker on his chart that says “Caution-patient bites” which is unfair because he’s really only bitten the vet a couple of times and you know I would also bite a stranger trying to take my temperature but I don’t know how he will handle being left alone since he sometimes start crying randomly in the dark but I think that may be because he is getting senile but he still can open my cabinets. He’s really smart-he actually uses the handle-would you like to see a video? I have lots of pictures of him. Look at this one where I tried to put New Year’s tiara on him. I would have put it on his sister but she didn’t like to wear things. She died a couple of years ago. She had diabetes and I had to give her insulin twice a day. I like to say that she was just too sweet a kitty. Here, let me show you some pictures of her. Isn’t she gorgeous? Here’s a video of the two of them when they were kittens and a picture of the first time they saw snow and if you go back and get him you can see him in person…
You know, it’s actually quite easy to derive the Tsiolkovsky rocket equation. We simply equate two momenta, the left-hand side is just vee eee times dee em, dee em being the instantaneous change in mass of course, and vee eee being the propellant exit velocity, while on the right side we have em times dee vee, em being the current mass and dee vee being the instantaneous change in velocity. Divide by em to get the mass functions on the left and integrate with respect to tee. That comes to vee eee times the natural log of mass with respect to time on the left, and velocity on the right. Since we are performing a definite integral, we’ll ignore the added constant, and substitute in the beginning and end times, and then subtract the two resulting equations. Since subtraction outside a logarithm is a division inside the logarithm, the left side becomes vee eee times the log of the end mass divided by the start mass. And the right side is just the final velocity minus the starting velocity, which we just call delta vee since it represents the change in velocity. And there you go, the left side should be immediately recognizable as the rocket equation, though you might be more familiar with it in terms of specific impulse, though that’s easy, we just add an extra factor of gee zero in there, which most of the time we say is nine point eight meters per second squared, though for some reason I always like to squeeze in an extra digit of precision and use nine point eight one. It doesn’t matter too much since the difference is much smaller than the other factors like the engine performance relative to barometric pressure but it’s a force of habit at this point.
Here are my top 40 songs of all time, in order. Then I have my top 76 songs (it just turned out to be that number), then my 260 song. Then my 1,500 or so songs, with my rating system. Then all the different ways to organize them. There are groups, albums, the best weeks for music (October 25th, 1980). Drive by The Cars is my favorite third best song on an album.
Basically, things I think about all the time.
I’ve had CrossFitters, hippie wannabees, and all sorts of diets in my classes… one semester, when we had a whole cadre of Militant Vegans, I drew a Venn diagram on the board:
“I do CrossFit”
“I’ve been to Burning Man”
“I’m Vegan”
and in the middle:
“I will never stop talking!”
…
Larry, 'zatchoo?
We met Larry on our honeymoon. Out of the blue he’d announce something like “Okay, my top thirty movies with excellent plot twists…” (It got so we’d reply “Did we ever express ANY interest in this?”, but it wouldn’t slow him down at all).
…see, there on the right, The Curious Pig In The Parlour. Jesus, what sort of a pub name is that? Which way are we going at the roundabout? Left takes you to Lingfield. There’s a community orchard with a medlar tree in Lingfield. It’s an ancient fruit – introduced by the Romans. About this big. You have to let them rot before you can eat them – bletting, it’s called. Tastes like citrus fig. They’re really rare. There’s one in Lingfield, one over in Nyman’s Gardens and – get this – one in my garden. How cool is that? We went over to Nyman’s the other day – my tree’s new this year, you see – it’s got buds but no blossom yet, and we wanted to see how far advanced it was compared to an established tree. Exactly the same – so that’s a relief. Once they blet you can make jelly…
j
(Working hard on self awareness).
Well, as long as we’re not doing everything else, you probably don’t know this about me, but I set lists of things to music. It’s great for remembering really important things. I’ve got one for each of the Big Four US leagues–well, I suppose I should call them the Big Four North American leagues, what with the Blue Jays, the Flames, and so on–yeah, Big Four North American leagues it is. Yeah, and I also have a few geographical ones. All the states, for instance, and all the countries of Africa, Here, I’ll sing you one. You a sports fan or more of a geography geek? Let’s say sports. Howz about the NBA? You could do a lot worse than the NBA, huh? Well, now, the interesting thing about the NBA is that out of thirty teams–thirty teams!–no two of them actually rhyme. Thirty teams and no rhymes! Can you imagine? Luckily, there’s a workaround a figured out a few years back. Y’know the Cleveland Cavaliers? Yeah, they won the title a few years ago. LeBron James and everything. They get nicknamed the Cavs a lot, because who wants to say Cavaliers, I certainly don’t, and guess what, watch this, the Dallas Mavericks are often called the Mavs. Sweet, huh? Pretty clever on my part to figure that out, huh? Cavs and Mavs, so those are the last rhymes in the song. As for the other rhymes, lemme sing the first part: “Trailblazers, Clippers, Lakers, Bucks, Bulls, Jazz, that’s one through six.” Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, six rhymes with an NBA team. Know which one? Ah, c’mon, course you do. Think about it. Six – six – Okay, it’s the Knicks. New York Knicks, okay? You’ve heard of 'em, right? Anyway, the second line ends with Knicks so it rhymes with six, know what I’m saying? I should probably say a little about the tune. It’s from the Episcopal hymnal. I like to call it “By the Light of Burning Martyrs,” but that’s actually the beginning of the third verse; the first verse begins “Once to Every Man and Nation.” I actually had that tune in a harmonica book when I was a kid. Cool, huh? Anyway, “Trailblazers, Clippers, Lakers–” Oh, you don’t like the NBA? No prob. We’ll move on to hockey. Hockey does have rhyming teams: Ducks and Canucks work because the accent in CaNUCKS is on the second sylLABle. Also Kings and Red Wings, but you have to abbreviate it as Wings, which is okay 'cause a lot of people call them that anyway. The first line goes like this. The tune’s the Irish Washerwoman, you know it? I get most of the multisyllable teams out of the way in the first line, starting in Montreal and moving kinda sorta southwest, like so: “The Canadiens, Senators, Maple Leafs, Islanders, Capitals, Hurricanes, Predators, Ducks.” Get it? Lotsa three-syllable names. The problem I had with the NHL was that they keep expanding. I already had to figure out a way to shoehorn the Golden Knights in, which wasn’t easy let me tell you, and now there’s the Seattle Kraken–I think I’ve figured it out but I haven’t memorized it yet, if you know what I mean-- Okay, so you don’t like hockey. How about geography? Here’s Africa. It includes the nearby island nations like Mauritius, just so we’re clear, not just all continental Africa if you know what I mean. The melody comes from some Monty Python song or other, I think. “South Africa, Namibia, Angola and Lesotho”–oh gosh, they changed Swaziland’s name to eSwatini and the meter is different, for now anyway I’m keeping it as Swaziland, does that work for you? Anyway, “Swaziland, Zimbabwe and Zambia…”
Wait! We haven’t gotten to the states! Or the NFL! Or major league baseball, which is set to one of the Brandenburg concertos by J. S. Bach! Don’t you want to–
Oh well.
@Ulf_the_Unwashed, you are remarkably abduction-proof. Venture into the world with confidence!
I devote a non trivial amount of time and money to my finger and toe nails, but I’ve always had a problem with thickening hyponychium. Let’s face it, it really doesn’t matter if your nails are flawless if you have that unsightly ridge of hardened skin outlining the edge of your nails. I avoid the problem with a simple treatment at home. First, soften the eponychium and make it pliable. This may be done with a warm water soak or a hot penetrating oil soak. Instead of trimming the offending eponychium , reduce it with a cuticle remover. This breaks down the bonds between the dry skin cells and makes them easy to remove with a curette. Voila! Now, you ask, how often is this treatment needed. Well, it really depends …
Would you like to hear the truth about jesus?
Will say, had I been a kidnapper ready to throw Ulf out of a moving vehicle, I would have stopped myself at that Bach reference and…
'… oh, wow, which Brandenburg? #2? Or, #5 - I would love to hear a list sung to the harpsichord solo in movement 1, you’ll have plenty of time to work on that. Perhaps the two of us, while waiting for your ransom, can do a list to one of his canons in two voices, or! How about to ‘Wir Eilen Mit Scwachen’? I just love that one. Man, a guy who loves both Bach and lists, and I’m the lucky kidnapper who also enjoys both!
… hey, do you like The Book of Lists?..’
Just having gotten back from my ‘morning WOD’ at ‘the Box’, I would only improve your three statements by replacing them with the following:
“I do Crossfit.”
*“I’ve been to Tough Mudder.”
"“I’m training for my fourth triathlon this year.”
“I’ve already broken the zip ties on my wrists.”
“I’m Keto.”
Then put in the middle, “I will never stop talking.”
Tripler
This thread self-enlightens me as to why I never get invited to parties anymore. 
The infield fly rule
The kings of England/UK from 1066
The princes in the tower
Patrick Mazieka
There’s at least 4 people on here I reckon I can safely kidnap without earplugs.
Just so everyone knows I’m keeping a list 