Scenario:
You’ve been kidnapped! Your kidnappers are not terribly savvy, but they know that you’re a regular poster on the Dope. They want you to continue posting at the Dope, but obviously you can’t say that you’ve been kidnapped. How do you alert the Dope that something is wrong and you’re in trouble?
“A story about a kid on Venus who is locked in a closet? Sorry - it doesn’t ring a bell - you’ll have to find someone else to identify it for you.”
For me:
You know, if minorities, gays, and women would just stop complaining and asking for special privileges, and just buckled down, worked hard, and played by the rules, then they’d have absolutely nothing to complain about. Stop whining about the greatest country God has given to man!
Maryland drivers are the best.
Jesus is the best thing that has happened in the Universe’s 6,000 year history.
I start threads in the Game Room about how football is the greatest sport ever, and how the whole CTE bit is exaggerated and overblown, and anyway, a little brain damage is a small price to pay for the honor of contributing to the glory that is professional football.
I post something thoughtful that contributes to the conversion instead of a drive by smartass comment.
Simple - I just stop being nice, dammit.
Coffee sucks. How does anyone drink that stuff?
The premise of all these posts seems to be that if someone posts something extremely out-of-character, that the SDMB membership will decide they may be in serious trouble and track them down IRL. I think that’s extremely unlikely, based on the history and nature of this MB. People might speculate that your account has been hacked or that you’re drunk, but that’s about it.
I don’t think there’s anything a kidnap victim can do to alert the general MB membership to the point of taking meaningful action. It might be different for posters who have RL connections to other posters.
“Go Bengals!” I thought that was universal.
The only possible way would be to post a “hypothetical” about what you would do if you were kidnapped, and rely on Dopers to see the meta subtext.
So everybody else, you’ve been told: go save iiiiiandyiiiiiiiiii. P=ersonally I can’t be bothered.
I should also add that other posters are likely to comment on the radical change in posting style/ideology, which would tip off the kidnappers that you’re up to something. So it would be a genuine risk for little prospect of reward.
Sorry if this comes off as threadshitting. 
You’re also relying on your kidnappers to be complete morons …
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Good point. What everyone needs to do, in advance of a kidnapping-with-SDMB-privileges scenario, is to have a code phrase chosen, and promulgated through PMs to a set of trusted friends with a particular set of skills, so that the alert can be given safely and effectively.
H.earing
E.very
L.ast
P.erson
M.ock me
E.ek that would be scary
So guys, I’ve given up drugs and alcohol, praise the lord!
So, these two Jehovah’s Witnesses came to visit me - I was so intrigued with thier message that I went with them to the local Kingdumb hall @ 123 street, anytown. They are asking for donations to the cause - can someone HELP ME set up a GO FINDME site?
J. R. R. Tolkien? overrated hack.
Stuck on a plot line you started and can’t get out of?.. 