Wow, I’m thrown to the bottom of the “TAKE ME FIRST!” list by marksmen, craftsmen and, um, people who give good blowjobs.
Ok… Well, in our postapocalyptic world, our pets have turned against us, driven to a rage by the lack of litter and small jangling toys. I’ve taken in a few stray cats and domesticated them, so perhaps I could be your cat tamer? Any time the group meets a cat in what remains of our alleys, I can defuse any tense stand offs. Maybe train a group of them to stand watch and help us fight the rats too as a bonus!
I’m fairly high-strung, and a light sleeper. While not terribly useful now, in a situation where people were under threat from radioactive mutants/mole people/bandits it might be useful to have a lookout/sentry to yelp in alarm the minute an intruder gets within 8000 feet of our settlement at night.
I can also be very loyal, even to a fault. So I guess I would make a good flunky as well.
I know how to modify a diesel engine to run on used deep fryer grease and automatic transmission fluid, so the generator at our tribe’s home base and scout vehicles patrolling the outlying areas for supplies need only keep fueled up at the greasy fast-food joints and transmission repair shops found in the ruins.
This is a hijack, I am a lawyer/baseball fan with no skills that will be of use in the post-apocalypse, but I have to find out, Sailboat, what the hell kind of wimpy German Shepherd gets chased and/or bitten on the nose by a mouse? Sure, Shih Tzus and other rat-dogs get attacked and chased around by mice all the time, but a German Shepherd?
I’d make an excellent wetnurse, and I can help teach the women of the tribe to breastfeed their own babies as well. If necessary, I could be of some use as a midwife.
I can cook, knit, and sew (with a machine - by hand would be pretty entertaining, but I’d probably get the hang of it.) I know how to make slings, so the mothers of the group could do other work while caring for infants. I’m also experienced at making, using, and washing cloth diapers.
I’m in possession of plenty of stored calories, so you wouldn’t have to feed me too much for quite some time.
I am also (don’t laugh) a lawyer, so I’d be able to help set up a government and justice system, if we’re that progressive.
Well, if the apocalypse holds off for another 2 years I’ll be a doctor. Every society needs medical care right? Other than that I can cook and do basic sewing. And I am another woman of reproductive age.
Well if the apocalypse is icecap melting Waterworld type stuff, I row for Great Britain so I can be boat-chauffeur, plus I can hold my breath and swim underwater for longer than anyone else I know. Thats got to be useful somehow, right? I could collect oysters to keep PunditLisa going I suppose.
If it involves dry land, I am useless, other than for spare parts and sexual favours.
I knew playing Gamma World would pay off! Count me in as improvised weapons and armor expert. Your first decision is whether you would like the 1 or 2 football shoulder padded biker jacket…
With all these women of child-bearing age, you’re going to need me.
As a labor and delivery nurse at the 2nd largest high-risk birthing unit in California, I can help out if her baby comes out sideways. (“She didn’t scream or nothin…’” Trains, Planes and Automobiles) I can help keep a newborn and mom alive after a rocky start and on a personal note, am quite charming and adorable.
I also can no longer have children myself, so it’s pure recreation (vs re-creation)to me!
aHEM
I would like to draw your attention to the following:
(bolding mine)
We do not want to smash windows. Good glass will be critical for making the windows that admit light and warmth to our solar-heated houses, manufactories, and greenhouses, enabling us to conserve our fuel for military adventures. As a result, unbroken windows will be quite valuable.
Unless you want to use your coal-mining skills to fuel the glass factory?
