You (yes, you!) can be a fantasy hero! (long)

C’mon, gimme a break here! I just got back from saving a world yesterday! Oh, well, at least it means I’m already mostly packed–let me make sure it’s all here, and maybe add some things that weren’t appropriate for anime in the Oklahoma sun…

My adventuring backpack, courtesy of North face (weight negligible)

First aid/survival kit–antibiotics, bandages, needle & silk in a sterile pack, firemaking tools, a couple of magnesium flares and powder (I assume there will be trolls, yes?), several small slow-burn candles, wilderness survival book (in case I forget some little trick), water purification tablets, aspirin (~5 pounds)

crossbow and bolts (~4 pounds)

jeans, short-sleeved work shirt, long-sleeved Ren shirt (tough material), Ren moccasin-boots (good traction, very comfy for long hikes in winter or summer), waterproofed wool cloak (yes, I have one), gloves, bandolier, several pairs of socks in individual plastic baggies (~5 pounds)

jerky, nuts, dried fruit for emergency rations (~5 pounds)

fighting knives (no arniseros would go on an adventure without these) and Leatherman (~1 pound)

lockpicks (weight negligible)

garotte–don’t ask (weight negligible)

stainless steel canteen and a bota, both full of clean water (~3 pounds–yes, the water’s heavy, but a known safe source is a Good Thing)

stainless steel flask of vodka–disinfectant, trade goods, firestarter…high-test alcohol is remarkably useful stuff, and I don’t like vodka, so I won’t be tempted to drink it (~1 pound)

all my silver jewelry–trade goods, and I might have to strangle a werewolf with the chain or something (weight negligible)

duct tape (~1 pound)

small roll of steel wire–good for tying up just about anything (~1 pound)

small sealed jar of acetic acid crystals (weight negligible)

25 feet of nylon rope–it’ll take my weight and not much more; more than 25 feet is impractical to carry regardless of weight (~4 pounds)

25 feet of light nylon cord–just for lashing things together (~1 pound)

pencils/pens, small notepad–for writing down complex directions or instructions, general notes, phonetic spellings of magic words (I’d hate to say “necktie” by mistake); Grace can tell you that I can record the entire history of the fantasy world in a notepad that’ll fit in a pocket (weight negligible)

flashfinger and lycopodium powders–good for impressing the yokels (weight negligible)

Assuming the individually negligible weights add up to about 2 pounds at this point, I’m at 32 pounds–here comes some optional stuff

bag of flour–either a food source or a simple way of spotting an invisible foe (~5 pounds)

spices, esp. salt and pepper–spices can be very valuable trade goods, and with salt on hand I can make my own holy water (~2 pounds)

candle lantern (hillbilly flashlight, sort of like a coffee can with a handle)–protects the candle from wind and rain, and the reflector lets you aim more light at what you want to look at (~1 pound)

large can of starter fluid–sprayed across an open flame, even a candle, it makes a serious jet of fire; it can also be used to wash away all manner of nasty gunk (~1 pound)

sunscreen (no use saving the world and then getting skin cancer), insect repellent (malaria’s a bummer, too), shades, leather vambraces (very handy for a knife-fighter), a handful of lightweight optical components–little mirror tiles, a prism, and a lens or two–for signalling, starting fires, and redirecting beam-type spells) (~1 pound total)

42 pounds looks like an auspicious place to stop, I think–it allows a little leeway on my approximated weights, isn’t too uncomfortable to carry, and is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. What more could one ask? :smiley:

Balance wrote:

That’s all you need to make Holy Water? Just salt and plain water?

Sheesh! And to think, the AD&D Player’s Handbook charges 25 gold pieces for a 1-ounce vial of the stuff.

In White Wolf all you need is the True Faith in your ability to make holy water based on your faith in a greater power. No added weight to the Basic Adventurer Kit. :slight_smile:

My bicycle. You fellas can walk, I’m gonna save the world with my 2-wheeler.

Oh wait. That’s my plan for saving this world.

Just my credit card. I’ll buy everything I need once I get there. :wink:

Wow – they have credit cards calibrated in Gold Pieces?

naw, but there are a couple cards with platinum piece bases and double-royals, and most big castle medieval shops can scan those, but hey! it’s that american express/visa thing all over again…

ok, and now for my stuff!

i’d point Mr. wizard to my couch cushions and tell him to get transmogrifyin’.

cushion one-a Psyonic amplifier. im not savin any fantastic land without psychic powers! (especially PK! i want to move ultra fast when i fight!)

cushion two- a Pscythe. it looks like a steel-shod quarterstaff, but when i channel psychic energy into it, a glowing yellow blade extrudes from an almost invisible line of runes set into the oaken staff as Yew insets. it’s Vorpal-licious!

Cushion three- a cloak of the sileps. magically cool in the warm, magically warm in the cool, and makes me unnoticable when i channel energy into it.

and if he won’t do that, i want to be decked out like Ravenwood the Enchanter from Brother King. mmm, come here, betsy, you little colt 45. magnum semi-auto, you!

I’d take Sheila the Wonderdog and something to read while she takes care of everything.

That’s the stripped-down, bare bones Wiccan version. You can even do it without the salt–belief, will, and clean water only–but salt is highly regarded in the “effective against horrible, unnatural, evil things” category. I wonder if anyone’s tried pouring a carton of Morton’s on Dr. Laura?

Different faiths have different water rituals. I’m not sure of the precise details, but I think Catholic holy water is considerably more elaborate–consecrated font, blessed oils, a prescribed ritual, and so forth. Neopagans are a little more free-form; I see no reason why it shouldn’t work just as well.

As for credit cards, my Yendorian Express Platinum card got zapped the last time someone hit me with a lightning bolt (10 geek points to everyone who knows the reference).

saepiroth (who is MALE, dammit!) wrote:

<nitpick>

PK – “psychokinesis” – usually refers to the ability to move objects other than yourself by the power of your thoughts.

The ability to move your own body by the power of your thoughts would more properly be referred to as “levitation,” or, in the case of enhancing your natural movement speed, something like “psycholocomotion.”

</nitpick>
And come to think of it, why not do the following:

  1. Have Mr. Wizard turn your sofa cushion into a working Psyonic amplifier.

  2. Use the Psyonic amplifier to send the wizard back to his own damn dimension and leave you alone.

  3. Use the Psyonic amplifier in your normal life to win friends, influence people, and get James Randi’s million-dollar prize for demonstrating real psychic powers.

well, i want all the stuff anyway and i would go freely because it would be damn fun to save a distant world with abilities and powers. besides, Psychic powers aren’t magic powers- he’d still be able to control me. though i would probably end up as the bad guy anyway* and the wizard would have to send someone else to get rid of me AND the original Evil.

and ok, ok. i want PL. damn that would be fun with my Pscythe…
*considering my score in Black & White, you know. i tried to be nice, but i ended as -.38 alignment. +.79 for my creature, though…

I’d take:

  • back pack
  • jeans, t-shirt, long sleeve t-shirt, hooded sweat-shirt, 2 pairs of socks and underwear
  • water purifying tablets
  • 2 of those metalic heat reflecting blankets (1 lb each)
  • 1 lb of M&Ms (for the calories)
  • one box of ganola bars, sans box
  • some bandaids
  • a baggie with asprin and malox tabs
  • a dozen other(empty) ziplock baggies
  • 1 oz of glow-in-the-dark glitter
  • small bag of dryer lint
  • 6 aol disks (they must be currency somewhere)
  • 8 tokens for tolls (there are tolls everywhere)
  • water proof matches
  • notebook and a couple of pens
  • swiss army knife (may as well get one use out of it)
  • the direction voices to keep me from wandering into danger(in my head, so weightless)
  • 16 oz water bottle, with resealable top
  • hair brush and scrunchie (I don’t want to have to shave my head to get rid of snarls when I get home)
  • the tiny stuffed turtle I bought (who knows, maybe he’s alive and wise in another place)
  • the gold bracelet with semi-precious stones I got for my birthday
  • one of those disposable rain ponchos
  • hiking boots
  • mess kit
  • small pair of scissors
  • Cutters sunscreen/bug repleant combo
  • a dozen Whistling Jack(the ones about 1/2 as long as your pinky) fire crackers

Screw toiletries, if I can’t get them where ever we’re going, I’m not going to fit in with the locals.

*If anyone would like to atempt to create a story about this, click on the link in my sig. *