As his owner flees fecklessly into the woods, to hide like the startled rabbits of nature, a 200 pound pig gets medieval on the Sheriff & his boys.
“TOP O THE WORLD, MA!”, squeals hooligan ham.
Truly, Kate is the Bacon Of Heroes.
Chewed up parts of a patrol car? Holy moses, that must be one mighty tough pig. I wonder what parts she was chewing?
In a spider web above the door to the house, you can read “Some Bad Muther-Porker”.
The jelly donut parts?
Two words:
Ham sandwich.
HO-HO-HO!
In Santa Cruz County, Ham makes sandwich out of you!
Why not just shoot the pig with a tranquilizer dart or something?
Knights and Lords used to hunt boars (think wild pigs) from horseback using very long spears with crossguards on them. It was not unknown for the boar when impaled to try to run up the spear to reach the one holding the spear driving the spear all the way through it’s body in the attempt. Wild boars were considered the most dangerous prey in the forest. Bears were a distant second. The wild boar differs very little genetically from the porker that you turn into bacon and sausage. I’m surprised that this doesn’t happen more often.
Does a bazooka count as “something”? 
Or a gun? If it was an aggressive dog coming after the deputies, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill it. What makes a pig different?
<Homer>
Mmmmm…bacon…
</Homer>
I think the first step a lot of deppitys would take would be to radio instructions to start digging the fire pit. Hog roast!
Update:
Killer Hog is actually…warm & fuzzy?
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2005/October/05/local/stories/07local.htm
“But scratch her with the toilet brush and she goes into a trance. She’s funny.”
Sounds like a guy I used to date.
I LOVED THAT MOVIE!!
Seriously, I laughed the Kalua up through my nose when I read the above.