Young Chinese are 'too fat and masturbate too much to pass army fitness tests'

A rising number of young Chinese people are failing fitness tests required to join the army because they are too fat and masturbate too much, state media has proclaimed.

The high rejection rate has triggered concerns that there are not enough youths in good physical condition to fill the ranks of the Chinese army.

A poor diet and frequent masturbation, leading to abnormally large testicular veins, are believed to be behind falling fitness levels, according to a report published in state-run military newspaper the People’s Liberation Army Daily.

Authorities also think the constant use of smartphones and drinking water with too high a mineral content are to blame.

In one city, 56.9 per cent of potential recruits were rejected after failing fitness tests. One in five was simply deemed too fat.
The report claimed 8 per cent of male candidates suffered from enlarged testicular veins. “This is related to sitting too long on computer games, excessive masturbation and too little physical activity,” it said.

Some 46 per cent were rejected for failing the vision test, with the excessive use of electronic gadgets such as smartphones and tablets blamed.

The newspaper report added that the number of additives in junk food and fizzy drinks, as well as high mineral content in water, was damaging candidates’ livers and gallbladders.

Is this the new “don’t do it – you’ll go blind!” ?

According to websites I checked, the cause of Enlarge Testicular Veins ( = Varicocele) is unknown:

Nothing about computer games or jerking off.
The report reads like it was written by Old Guys disgusted with Today’s Youth. Next they’ll be telling them to Get Off the Lawn

This feels like one of those articles that, a couple weeks later, has a “You remember that article? Turns out it wasn’t true” follow-up.

They might be fat, but their right-hand grip strength was amazing.


How much is “too much”?

Asking for a friend.

Need answer fast.

Anything after you get your PLA rejection letter is considered excessive.

That must be one hell of a test that it can detect excessive masturbation!

I can just see some Chinese grandfather saying “Back in my day, you had to shoot yourself in the foot to avoid the draft.”

…but now it doesn’t matter where you shoot it.

Thanks. Now every time I close my eyes I see thousands and thousands of fat, young Chinese guys masturbating.

Could be worse. Could be every time you open your eyes.

Never mind

Wrong thread. I’m having trouble seeing my screen due to these huge testicular veins constantly in the way.

4F From Five Finger Fap Frequently?

This seems like a super predictable outcome of a one-kid, prefer male offspring national reproductive strategy.

I think you are underestimating by several orders of magnitude.

Did I make it better? :smiley:

Test couldn’t be easier!

The first step is to leave recruits alone in room with a computer and a box of Kleenex …

Could be worse - if they were accepted into the army, they’d learn to masturbate in formation. Left-right, left-right …

…Wait for iiiiiiiiit…

“Hup, 2,3,4”, then "Attent-shun!?

That is not The Military Way.

Thanks to this thread, I finally understand why last week’s blind date went so wrong. I knew it was going downhill when she muttered “well, I can see why you’re not in the Chinese Army…”