All of what you said has shit-all to do with the question of whether I expect little or a lot from my kid.
Yes, this makes sense.
Describe the world you’re talking about.
One in which his parents, at the tender age of six, already feel the need to force his hand toward certain interests (which isn’t any of their goddamn business whether he’s 6, or 16, or 26).
I just hope you’ve started a savings account for the therapy.
To echo everyone else, I wouldn’t worry about it at six. The only possible problem I see here is raising a kid like the ones we see on American Idol, who have built their entire persona and life on being able to sing, and their family has been encouraging them to sing and make a career of singing when they can’t carry a tune in a bucket. There’s supportive and encouraging, and then there’s delusional.
You know Frylock, pretty much everyone in this thread has gotten an impression you are surprised by. When everyone but you is wrong, it might be time to re-evaluate.
If you did not intend to say (paraphrased) “my son is so bad at dance that I am embarrassed for him and want to steer his interested otherwise” - that is pretty much what I got from your OP. And my two cents on that are: For my own kids, I think that they gain benefit from doing something they enjoy, even if they are bad at it. And things that they don’t enjoy, too. You don’t get to go through life only doing the things you enjoy AND are good at. Sometimes, you have to do the things you are bad at.
I admire the kid’s persistence - mine was the opposite at that age, trying all sorts and having a basic talent for everything she tried (ballet, rugby, swimming, gym, cricket) but she got bored and dropped out.
Singing has been the one thing she’s stuck with - and there were years of (ahem) enthusiasm outstripping ability. But she’s good now, somewhere in the last couple of years (she’s 12) she ‘clicked’. She watches those talent shows on telly and can pick the difference between being off pitch and off key, which is more than I can do.
if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the internet, it’s that it will never run out of judgmentalism, condescension, and arrogance.
That’s exactly what my OP says. (Do note, though, that my OP is not the sum of my participation in this thread.)
I haven’t been surprised by anyone that took that message from my OP.
For example, one person got the impression that I don’t expect much from my kid. That is blatantly non-sequitinous* relative to my OP. That’s the kind of thing I’ve expressed surprise at.
*It’s now a word.
What color puppy?
Congrats? What does this comment have to do with the subject at hand?
I shall allow him to choose the color.
Though if it’s an embarrasing color, I may need to nudge him toward a bunny instead.
You seem to think he’s so bad that he’s going to embarrass either himself or you. Maybe you’re just judging him too harshly. How bad can he be?
Why do people put a small child in an activity? To give him experiences, have him learn something, and help to make him well-rounded.
Ever heard little kids–I mean pre-schoolers–play the violin? Most, if not all of them are horrible. You can’t bear listening…it is just that bad. And the thing is that they continue to squawk and squeal for a long-ass time. It takes patience and understanding for both parent and child to deal with this phase and simply wait for the greatness, if it’s ever going to come. If the kid is willing to wait, I say the parent should too. Otherwise, they’ve wasted their investment, and they’ve lost sight of why they put the violin in the kid’s hand in the first place.
Your kid has plenty of time to endure life’s humiliations, rejections, and low self-esteem. As a parent and an adult, you know this. So why not let him have this little window of time when he can enjoy being himself in all its purity and innocence? He might look back on this time with embarrassment, but I doubt he’ll resent you for allowing him to have his moment. He MIGHT, however, resent you for pulling him out. And if you haven’t considered to pulling him out, fantastic! But your OP doesn’t make this 100% clear.
Seriously, while I agree that a kid will (usually) eventually naturally gravitate to something they have some aptitude for and there is really no need to dissuade them from doing things they may not be gifted at, I think that it’s clear you are a loving father, and not some vicious, emotionally abusive monster, as some seem to suggest.
(Also, if he likes Irish music, it’s NEVER too early to get him a copy of Van Morrison’s live concert masterwork “It’s Too Late To Stop Now”)
Frylock, 6 year olds are not coordinated, boys even less than girls, as girls mature a bit faster than boys.
Dancing will help his muscle development and thus, his coordination. Encourage him. Look at the other 6 year old boys in the class, they aren’t coordinated either. Some may be a little better, but I bet there are some that are worse. It takes years for dancers to be graceful. Give him a chance to develop.
If it’s dancing per se that bothers you, it’s much less dangerous than “boy” sports and will develop the muscles and coordination that will be invaluable when he gets interested in more “manly” endeavors.
Let him dance until he decides he isn’t good at it or moves on to something else.
I don’t think that’s a very fair thing to say.
Another thing to remember: people who progress far enough in anything eventually get to the point where they suck at what they’re trying, because what they’re doing is hard as hell. Some of them give up, but the truly exceptional ones persevere.
If the kid never learns to use his enjoyment to get himself through a lot of sucking, he’ll always be one of the ones that gives up when he hits the wall. It’s a valuable thing to try at things you aren’t naturally good at, because you’ll get there eventually if you push yourself in anything.
Missed the edit window but wanted to add:
I think you’re reading too much into the OP. When we write on a message board we summarize and simplify where the reality is far more nuanced than the way we portray it (by necessity). I think you’re imagining that the OP is somehow letting the six year old know that they aren’t displaying natural talent or something, where I don’t think that’s been indicated at all.
Also, on the board, it’s common to take something that we think about .0001% of the time and make a post about it, and then people read that as something far more substantial and major than it really is.
Why not give the OP the benefit of the doubt instead of being so judgmental?
But what does that have to do with expecting too little out of his son? If anything, you could come to the conclusion that he is expecting too much, and thus being disappointed by activity that most people would think okay.
It is not expecting too little to watch your kid not do as well as his peers and to wonder how to deal with that. The entire concept requires you to have no objective evidence.