In my mind, normal people are the blurry-faced others out there with these descriptions:
responsible
polite
a little racist
lost their virginity in their teens
owns a house
isn’t a fan of science fiction but has seen Star Wars
drives a car
has a job
goes to bars
likes Pixar movies
likes to travel
owns a pair of sunglasses
makes more money than I do
The defaults, if you will, the pre-conceived template of a person. As I get to know more about them, their unique characteristics replace these default values.
I guess I’m interpreting “normal” differently. To me, the normal people are the ones who go to school, don’t do drugs, go to college and /or get jobs, get married, settle down and have families, don’t have strange addictions or phobias or neuroses, pay their taxes, love their families and participate in their communities. And half of them go to church. They’re not bigoted, they don’t abuse their spouses or kids, they don’t have secret vices (unless we are counting chocolate) and they aren’t criminally inclined. They are reasonably intelligent, curious about the world, and respectful of others.
Let me guess. You consider yourself liberal and quite tolerant of cultural differences don’t you? That isn’t a slam. A list of bad stereotypes like that can only come from only one mindset that I have ever known.
My definition of ‘normal’ includes some of those but certainly not all of them. Overweight? Probably if you are American over 25. That is technically normal in the statistical sense. Hunting and fishing is quite abnormal but a welcome change from most of the people I know. I wish most of them spent less time in front of TV and more in nature. Owning your own home is part of the definition of normal in most of the country. Only among the over leveraged urbanites in high cost of living areas and plain trashy people think otherwise.
My basic definition of normal is not quite happily married but stuck in a ‘Married with Children’ kind of way. For people in their 30’s, the focus would be on their kids and bringing them up responsibly. GenX seems to be better at parenting than their parents as whole so the focus is more on the importance of family but still filled with artifacts from a consumer driven on-demand society with things such as faux vacations to places like DisneyWorld. The definition of normal is changing rapidly with the introduction of the web to the masses. Facebook keeps more people at home on a Saturday night than TV ever did. The current definition of normal is people that are trying to tread water with what they have already and hold steady until we get in better times.
I should have clarified and probably put normal in quotes. I posted this thread mainly to see what people’s outlooks on life are; what their personal opinions and biases are of a regular, unremarkable, “normal” person, not necessarily what the average person is like in their surroundings (there’s lots of overlap I imagine).
It’s the “normal” person you compare yourself or others to in your mind when, say, you’re deciding if someone’s behavior is messed up. Or, if you want to stand out from the crowd, what is that baseline “crowd” attribute you’re trying to deviate from?
My normal person will report a stolen wallet, for example. If I knew someone who didn’t and kept the wallet, I would find that aberrant. For someone else who lives in a high crime area or hangs out with gangs or whatever, they may think the reverse.
Bad stereotypes? Forgive me, but what on earth do you mean? When I say this list is representative of people whom I have met in my life in a small town, that is exactly what I mean. This is not a list of ‘behavior traits the local hillbillies exhibit’, even though that probably is what it appears to be. By no means is it exhaustive or complete, but the majority of people I know or have met fit these descriptions. Hunting may ‘quite abnormal’ wherever you live, but not around here. Most adult men hunt. In fact, there used to be a Bayliner manufacturing plant here that would completely shut down for two weeks in the fall because everyone wanted the time off to go hunting. Therefore, it is ‘normal’ behavior around here. Same with home ownership. Owning a home is a nice goal, many achieve it, but here that is not the case for the majority. It is a very economically depressed region of the country. People rent. Or live with family. Or live in mobile homes. There are plenty of homeowners, but I would put money on the majority of the population not living in a home they own.
Last election, some 65% voted republican countywide. That is a majority, and therefore the normal behavior. Other behaviors such as politeness, lying, etc. are a bit less cut and dried. Most people are polite, some lie.
What we as a society have arbitrarily considered normal behavior (vacationing at Disneyland, for instance), does not mean that is the normal behavior or lifestyle for everyone. If I want to vacation somewhere other than Disneyland, that may very well mean that I am not ‘normal’ by the vague understanding of how society thinks I should live. Doesn’t mean vacationing in Tasmania is abnormal.
I think each community, even individual states, sets their own standards for ‘normal’ behavior. Now, I will happily agree that some behavior is truly abnormal for most Americans. Not paying your taxes. Neglecting your children. Abusing hard drugs. Rape. Stealing. But things like owning a home or enjoying Disney movies is hard to classify as normal behavior.
In fact, there was a thread here recently, which I’m too lazy to look up right now, asking what milestones did one have to reach to be considered ‘adult’. Many people said things like owning a car, having your own place or losing your virginity. Many others argued that a college student, living in a dorm who was still a virgin was certainly an adult, even if that person didnt meet the criteria for normal adult milestones. Same reasoning applies here.
I live on the frontier between suburban Atlanta and rural Georgia, where the class divisions make overall normality impossible. But I’ve lived all over so I’ll average it all out:
The normal person’s intelligence is more on the cunning end of the spectrum than the creative end. He or she believes that the purpose of life is to make oneself happy, using the opportunities society provides, and without violating its clear rules.
He or she is charitable so long as it isn’t sacrificial, does not think analytical/critical of anything that does not immediately concern him or her. Hypocritical in that he or she judges other by their actions but him or herself by their own intentions.
The average/normal person around me (meaning mostly based on the people who work at my office):
-is married or has a SO and is straight
-has at least one kid
-has at least one kid who is gifted
-owns a house
-takes vacations every summer
-isn’t mobility impaired
-has a cellphone and is on Facebook and does a lot of texting throughout the day
-is not artistic
-likes gardening or at least knows something about it
-have never lived anywhere else except VA. They tend to come from two or three state universities, with an occassional W&M alum thrown in for diversity :).
-for men, they like to fish
-for women, they like to get pedicures
-is extroverted, though probably not as much as the general population
-is concerned about money and/or how to make more of it
-likes to imbibe alcohol on a regular basis
-does not think the building cold, even though I’m always shivering.
That is what normal looks like in my limited world.
Again, difficult to distinguish between “normal” and “average”. As a working professional who lives / works in Hoboken/NYC, most of the “average” people aren’t “normal” and most of the “normal” people aren’t “average”.
But I would say the typical “normal” person has a profile / life track as follows:
Grew up in the suburbs.
Probably played a sport or two in high school and maybe college
Graduated from college
Has some sort of indescribable business-y sounding job like “analyst” or “associate” at a large well known company
Lived with roommates in a trendy but affordable neighborhood in some major city in their 20s. Some place like Hoboken, NJ, Manhattan’s Upper East Side (but like York Avenue a mile from the subway), Boston’s Alston Brighton area. Some place like that.
Drinks regularly and often heavily - Thurs, Fri, Sat - but usually not to the point that it interferes with work, school or personal relationships
Married in their mid to late 20s, kids a few years later
Moved out to the suburbs (owns house) and take the train in every day
Unfamiliar or unconcerned with any pop culture from after they turned 25
Dresses in a sort of generic polo shirts and chinos or jeans sort of way
No visible tatoos or unusual piercings
Is polite and friendly in a superficial and uninteresting way
In ok but not spectacular shape
Meaningless promotions every few years (sr analyst, junior manager, etc).
Needless to say, “normal” people can be pretty boring since they take great effort in being exactly like everyone else.
I think of a normal person as someone who can navigate nomal and mundane activities without difficulty. S/he can walk down the street, or drive to the store without undue conflict with passersby and can basically complete a transaction, wheter it is social or commercial without disrupting the process needlessly.
This might seem like a small thing, but I have a neighbor who, 7 times out of 10, has managed to get into a conflict with someone within 30 feet of his front door. He’s either yelling at the garbage men, yelling at his girlfriend in the house from the street, or just being an ass to anyone who is within ear shot.
If this is just a list of what normal is among our peers, then:
-liberal
-urban
-college educated
-politically engaged
-likes to eat out
-well traveled
Normal to me is:
Has job, car, place to live
Pays bills and lives comfortably
Has no active addictions
Has friends/family he is close with
Is not overly pierced or tattooed
Has no hobbies or interests that deviate too far from the mainstream
When I examine my default settings for “normal” I find that in some ways I feel normal and in some ways I don’t.
Ways I am “normal”:
married with children
college educated
polite
like movies
law-abiding
Way other people are normal that I am not
not really into science-fiction
watch a lot of reality TV
have houses more expensive than mine
keep their yards up better than I do
cook more than I do (probably not true, but it feels that way)
have their kids in lots of lessons and activities
have first hand furniture
paint their walls every few years.
