Your favorite contradictory (or other interesting) business signs

At the Jets gas station by me there is a deal of “Unlimited car washes” for a month for $24.99*. *Limit 1 wash per day. :smack: Then it’s not unlimited, is it!

At the PDQ station there is a sign ontop every pump that says “ANY size fountain soda, 99 cents”*
*Excludes 64 ounce size. Guess by ANY size they didn’t mean “ANY” size. :rolleyes:

There is a small tavern near where I live that has a sign that says “Happy hour 5pm-8pm 7 days a week”*
*No happy hour on Saturdays. Did we switch to an 8 day week, folks?:wink:

These are all current, I saw every one of them within the last couple of days. Shouldacouldawoulda snapped a pic of them for this thread.

List something you’ve seen [recently] here.

A supermarket near me has a sign Open 08:00-22:00 M-Sa, 10:00-16:00 Sunday.

Right next to one that says “open 24 hours between 06:00 Monday-22:00 Saturday” (this is the correct one, but I have no idea why the other sign is still around)

There was an old ranch near my work that had a sign: “GOATS: milk, meat, and pets”.

Always thought it a tad weird.

… and a 180 minute hour?

Not contradictory, but there’s a cute billboard on the freeways around here.

In big block letters it says “Your wife is hot.”
Underneath in smaller letters it says “Better get your air conditioning fixed.”
Then “Central Air Conditioning Service”, a phone number, a logo, etc.

For some reason it strikes me funny every time I see it.

Jewelers in malls are great this time of year for having big banner signs proclaiming
Storewide Sale 60% Off! *on select merchandise

If the sale only applies to select merchandise, then it’s not storewide.

If they put one of the reduced items in each corner, it is. :smiley:

My favorite along those lines is tourist shops in the US southwest selling Indian jewelry & trinkets.

There in the window is a cardstock sign saying “50% off silver/turquoise jewelry TODAY!!”.

The sign of course, is sun-bleached into almost illegibility. Having faced the blazing desert setting sun every day for years if not decades now.

Strictly speaking it’s true. But that’s not the point it’s trying to convey. Further, if everything truly is 50% off every day, how is that not the actual price? Is it half-priced turtles all the way down to $0.000 … 1?

Well, I think it’s funny…

Sign in a bathroom in a Truckee bar (paraphrased, 'cause it’s too cold to go out and get it verbatim):

“California State Law and Common Decency requires Employees to Wash Their Hands Before Returning to Work”

By my house, there is a Burger King that is being remodeled. The sign outside says “Open during construction, 5 a.m. - close.” Well, that pretty much defines any swath of time, doesn’t it? And, no, I’m not being pedantic. I’ve come home at around 11 p.m. or midnight, wanting to grab a snack, and have no idea whether it’s past “close” or not, so I don’t even bother to step in and check.

Oh, and here’s a photo from a store shelf sign marking a special “sale” item. I guess there is some truth in labeling it “Everyday Savings.”

Last month driving through Missouri I noticed a business off the highway called New Chin. I was trying to figure out if it was a Chinese restaurant or a plastic surgeon’s office.

Hah. Never noticed that. In the US, “happy hour” usually encompasses 2-4 hours.

Is it time to retire this one?

I’ve seen more than one happy hour that ran from 10AM to 6PM. That’s more like a “happy business day.”

And don’t get us started on “rush hour”. If only rush hours were shorter and happy hours were longer.

Here’s my favorite take on the conundrum of happy hour: - YouTube

As you might guess from my clever moniker, I’m male.

Inside many (all?) mens’ restrooms in bars in Texas there’s a sign near the door. Apparently required by the Texas state alcohol regulator. In sorta long-winded bureaucrat-ese it says “Don’t drink while pregnant.” Hmmm.

Just not a problem for denizens of the men’s room. And given Texas’ official attitude towards the gender-confused / conflicted / mixed, it’s even less useful than it might be in, say, CA.

They’re not preaching to the congregation. They’re not even preaching to the choir. They’re preaching to the :confused:

Every time I see one all I can think of is that line from Blue Collar Comedy Tour about idjits: “Here’s your sign!”

Semi-boneless meat.

It’s boneless or not.

In Pennsylvania the Liquor Control Board limits the number of hours per week that are “Happy Hours”.

That’s sad.:frowning:

^ I’ll say!

But not surprising from what I know about PA.

Huh. I didn’t realize I was married to the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board.